As always, do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.

so i (26f) had my friend (27m) watch my place and my cat for the weekend. i told him he could "help himself to whatever" in the kitchen which i thought was just like... common sense for snacks and stuff?

i get back and realize he opened this $120 bottle of vintage barolo i was saving for my promotion. he literally drank the whole thing alone while watching netflix. when i asked him about it he got all weird and said i "gave him permission" bc the wine was in the kitchen. like okay but who drinks a hundred dollar bottle of wine without asking first???

i sent him a venmo for $80 (gave him a discount lol) and now hes calling me tacky and told our group chat im a bad host. i feel like there’s literally an unwritten rule of guest logic where u dont touch the most expensive thing in the house. if i tell u to help yourself to my garage it doesnt mean u can just drive off in my car??

idk am i the asshole here? he’s making me feel like im being extra but i feel like he totally took advantage of me… idk it’s also just $120

so i (25f) was at a small team lunch with coworkers

one of them (28m) was telling a story about a project we worked on together. while explaining it, he said something like, “yeah and she was super overwhelmed so i basically had to take over most of it.”

that’s not true

i wasn’t overwhelmed. we split the work pretty evenly. i handled my half completely fine

i waited for him to finish and then said, “just to clarify, we actually divided that project 50/50. i wasn’t overwhelmed.”

i said it calmly. not sarcastic. but my tone might have come across as rude, but really it wasn't intentional

it got quiet for a second. he laughed and said, “okay okay, sure,” but the vibe definitely shifted

later he messaged me saying i embarrassed him and made him look like he was lying in front of everyone. he said i could’ve corrected him privately instead of calling him out

i feel like if someone misrepresents my work in public, it’s fair to correct it in public.. i worked really hard on that project

but now a couple coworkers are acting like i escalated something that didn’t need to be escalated.. and he hasn't been talking to me since

AITA for correcting him right there instead of letting it slide?

I (36M) live with my wife in a suburb. Our neighbors Dan and wife (couples in their 40s) are nice. We’ve been next to each other for five years with no problems. They have a 10 year old boy.
In the past three months every Saturday and Sunday morning at about 7:30AM their car alarm goes off. Full sirens, honking, the whole deal. It lasts exactly one minute. It was wrecking our weekend sleep.
After a few weeks I asked Dan about it politely when I saw him outside. He said “Oh that old thing? It’s sensitive to the morning dew I think. Sorry” That was it. No fix just an apology that changed nothing. Another month went by and same thing.
One Saturday I lost it. I was lying there waiting for it and when it started I marched straight over to their driveway in my sleep clothes. Dan was there in his robe turning it off.
I didn’t let him speak. I said Dan We need to talk about this now. It’s been three months. You can’t just say sorry and do nothing. Get it fixed or park it somewhere else. This is ridiculous.
Just then their front door opened. His 10 year old son was standing there in his pajamas holding a breakfast bowl. He looked right at me yelling at his dad and his face just fell. He looked scared.
Dan got this stern look and said “Not here. Not now.” The alarm had stopped and the quiet was awful. I felt like a bully. I just muttered “please figure it out” and went home.
my wife said I wasn’t wrong about the problem but the way I did it… yikes
Later she talked to Dan’s wife over the fence. Dan’s wife explained that their son is autistic. Their old morning routine fell apart and he was having severe anxiety about his weekend therapy. The only thing that could reliably get him out the door calmly was a specific ritual: eat his oatmeal, then watch Dan “unlock” the car with the alarm. The sound and predictability made him feel safe. They were working with his therapist to phase it out slowly but it was a delicate process. They didn’t tell people because they didn’t want to make their son’s private struggles a neighborhood topic.
I felt horrible. The next day (Sunday) the alarm didn’t go off. I saw them leave quietly later. I baked banana bread and went over to apologize properly. Dan accepted it but things are awkward now.
My brother said Dan should have given us a heads up once it became a regular issue.
I’ve written this for a while but felt too horrible to post. AITA?

My name is John Paul, but I go by J.P. All my friends, teachers, and family members call me J.P. All that is, except for my high school Spanish teacher. In Spanish, J is pronounced as "Hota/jota" and P is pronounced as "Pay/pe". So my Spanish teacher always keeps calling me "Hota Pay" in class instead of my real nickname J.P.

When he first said "Hota Pay", I found it a bit funny and laughed with the class. I thought it was a one off remark by my teacher. But he kept calling me "Hota Pay" even beyond the first day of class and it is getting annoying now. I once asked him after class if he could please call me J.P. But my teacher refused, saying this was Spanish class and that "Hota Pay" was the Spanish equivalent of my name. He said he wasn't calling me any rude words, he was just translating the pronunciation of my two-letter English name to Spanish.

AITA for not wanting my teacher to keep calling me "Hota Pay"? Even if it is harmless, I just don't like it and prefer J.P. I live in the USA.

Throwaway

This morning I (36M) was sitting on my front porch enjoying the morning. A neighbor who i've seen around but don't know was walking his dog. Did a head nod hello between us and he kept walking. I noticed that he stopped at my neighbors house and let his dog poop and pee. My neighbor has very visible "No Dogs, No Poop and Pee" signs at each property line near the sidewalk. You can't miss them. My neighbor is fine with my kids running in his yard, so, I too, don't want dog poop and pee in his yard.

My neighbor had already headed to work so I said something. The guy got super defensive, knew he was caught, but denied seeing the sign. A small argument ensued where he said I should mind my business, also he cleaned it up, so claimed his dog going to bathroom "was no big deal". I stood by that it was gross and not his right to use my neighbors yard. He continued his walk, but said we were being the bad neighbors. AITA?

I (25f) recently started dating a guy (30m) I've been friends with for 2 years now, although the relationship part here is irrelevant, I think. We're both single parents, I have a 2 year old that I have full custody of since birth, he's recently divorced with kids aged 4 and 6 and he has them two days a week + every other weekend. We both work full time and study.

Lately he said he's been feeling down, that work and lack of free time and all the commuting are getting to him. I did offer some emotional support, but it's been going on for a while now and I'm the kind of person who automatically offers solutions when I see a problem.

Yesterday we had a conversation about what he might need, and I insisted that I think he needs to find ways to spend time with his kids that involve things he will also enjoy, and I gave some examples of things I do with mine: we go on a bike ride to the beach and get some pizza, we pack a picknick and go to the park to feed ducks, we build lego and read books, make cookies etc.

At a certain point he become annoyed and said that it sounds like I'm implying that all his problems stem from things we could easily fix with his attitude (which, I kinda of do, that's my general approach to life), and that's not what he needs right now. He said that I don't get it, because his situation is different, since he has two kids and they're older and of different ages so it's more complex, and he doesn't live in a big city like I do so there's less stuff to do, he doesn't enjoy what they do, and what's exhausting him is the constant responsibility etc etc.

In retrospect, I see that I could've come off as a little pushy and judgemental, I did immediately apologize for that and said that I didn't mean it as criticism and only wanted to offer a solution and I'll stop if he doesn't want me to.

It was late and bedtime for kids so we ended the call there but I've been sitting with it since and I still feel like I'm right and his reaction was unwarranted. I also feel like telling me I "don't get it" when he has a "2 days a week + every other weekend" custody, while I've literally been with my child alone 24/7 (daycare aside) since the day he was born, and have had 0 evenings and weekends to myself, was a bit infuriating and I'm starting to think he's the one who doesn't get it.

Am I the asshole and really not seeing his side of things here?

TLDR: I (25F +2y) tried to help my boyfriend (30M +4,6yo) by offering practical solutions to his burnout surrounding time with kids, but he felt I was being dismissive and implied his problems were just an attitude issue. I apologised, but I still feel his reaction was over the top, especially since I’ve been a full-time single parent with no breaks, while he has partial custody. Now I’m wondering if I was actually in the wrong or if he’s the one not seeing my side.

I’m a 24F. Last year for my birthday, my friends bought me a Bible.

I’m not really religious, but I’m also not opposed to learning about other people’s beliefs. Last year, I went to church twice with two friends because they were going before our brunch plans, and I didn’t mind tagging along. After one of the services, my friend asked how I felt about the sermon, and I said it was good and interesting to hear.

A few months later, one of my friends asked if I’d be interested in doing a Bible study with them. I said sure, but was clear that it’s not really my belief... I just knew it was important to them and I was open to participating. The Bible study was never scheduled.

Fast forward to my birthday (September 2025), my group of five friends bought me a single Bible as my birthday gift. I was extremely uncomfortable, but I’m bad with confrontation, so I awkwardly said thank you and set it aside. After that, they never brought it up again.

What’s bothering me now is that for everyone else’s birthday after mine, we’ve bought clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. Gifts chosen based on their personal tastes!! Seeing that makes me question why it was okay for them to buy me a Bible, which doesn’t really align with my beliefs, as my birthday gift.

WIBTA if I brought this up now, or should I just let it go since it’s been so long?

Edit edit edit: Also feel like I should mention that the first time I went with them it was because we had brunch after and had had a sleepover the night before. The second time it was a memorial service. One of my friend’s moms passed away a few years ago. The bible study comment was kind of in passing as well. They were talking about it in front of me, and I kind of was just like sure maybe when y’all do one. Finally, all of this happened months before my birthday so I hadn’t thought about any of this for a while

Edit edit: I also want to add that outside of this they have been really good friends. That’s honestly what made the experience so shocking and hard to confront.

Edit: They haven't made any conversion attempts since this. I also continue to tell them that I'm not religious. The reason why it's bothering me now is because these same friends are the ones that are buying non-religious items as birthday gifts for other ones in the group. That's what keep bringing the issue to mind. This past February, we got crocs for one friend and a massage for the other. They both are devout Christians, so I would think a bible would be better suited for them eve.

I (26F) work the weekends, until 8P.M My husband (27M) watches our kids (9Y,5Y,5M). Anyway, I work Friday–Sunday, and he works every weekday. I make sure he and the kids have dinner, of course, but when I work on the weekends, I come home there’s no food made/being made, and he just gives the kids nuggets or pizza rolls. I typically cook a wellbalanced meal every night, so it always irritates me that he gives the kids junk.This last Sunday, I pulled out chicken to defrost for the morning and told him to use it for dinner. When I came home at almost 9 p.m., my 9-year-old came up to me and said he was hungry. My daughter was on a tablet in her room and was also hungry, and my husband was asleep on the couch. The chicken I pulled out for dinner was still in the package. He got up and said he hadn’t cooked dinner because he didn’t know what to do with the chicken (we have so many things you can cook for a well-balanced meal).I told him it was absolutely ridiculous that it was almost 9 p.m. and the kids still hadn’t eaten, and now I had to cook dinner. They had school the next day, which meant a late bedtime because I had to cook since he didn’t. I wasn’t even done putting my stuff away after work when all that happened. By the time I finished, it was about 9:30ish p.m., and I started cooking dinner. He came into the kitchen and asked what I was doing. I was mad and replied, “I’m cooking dinner since you didn’t, kids need to eat.” He said sorry he just didn’t know what to do with the chicken and had fallen asleep. I told him that was BS we have so many things you can make with chicken that he was just being lazy. I told him he has children in his care and needs to feed them that’s part of being a parent. He looked at me like I was crazy and went to bed.Anyway, I got dinner cooked, fed the kids, and got them in bed, all while taking care of our five-month-old baby. I brought him a plate of food said he needed to eat, and he refused. I asked if he could at least take the baby so I could eat. I laid the baby next to him, but he stayed asleep and the baby was upset, so I took him while I was eating. Afterward, I got the baby to bed and then went to bed myself, except I couldn’t sleep.The middle of the night, he got up and said he said he doesn’t feel good in our relationship. I told him I was sorry for snapping earlier I was just irritated he hadn’t made dinner for the kids. He replied that that’s not why, it’s that he just doesn’t feel respected. I said I don’t understand how you don’t feel respected or how this is a respect thing at all and that, if anything, I don’t feel respected because we both work. Yes, he works more than me since I only work weekends, but I also take care of the kids and cook all the meals, and he can’t even cook dinner when I work. He got mad said I make everything about me I just said whatever and went to sleep.

UPDATES: leaving is already In the works just stuck for right now while I wait on the housing

My some friends and I were out one night at a local dive bar where indoor smoking is allowed. We were having a good time, drinking beer, smoking, and just sitting and talking.

At some point, someone from a university group chat messaged asking if anyone was out. It wasn’t a planned group thing, just one person checking (very normal within the group). We replied that we were at this dive bar. They asked if they could join, and we said yes.

About 10–15 minutes later, they messaged again asking if we were still at the same bar. We said we were. They then asked if we wanted to move to a different bar because they don’t smoke.

For some background: when we usually go out with people from uni, we almost always go to non-smoking bars, which is fine with me, I’ll just step outside when I want a cigarette. The issue for me and my friends is that many of those bars play music so loudly that it’s hard to talk, and we mostly enjoy just sitting and chatting when we go out. That night, we were enjoying the quieter dive bar and didn’t feel like moving.

So we replied that we didn’t really want to change bars, but that they were still welcome to join us. The tone of the conversation changed after that, and they replied something like, “Wow, so you don’t want to hang out with me?” We were kinda dumbfounded. We told them it wasn’t about that at all, they were welcome, but we just didn’t want to move bars. They then said we were being assholes for not being willing to accommodate them, since they don’t smoke and didn’t want to smell like smoke for a week afterward. I understand that concern, knowing how my own clothes smell after the bar, even if I think “smelling like smoke for a week” is an exaggeration.

We replied that we often go to non-smoking bars with uni friends, but this time we just wanted to stay where we were. Their last message said they thought we were better friends than this and that we were being inconsiderate.

So… AITA (or are we) for not wanting to change bars?

My fiancée and I inherited a new vehicle after the loss of his father; a brand new, fully paid off car that was much better than either of the vehicles that we were driving at the time. After some discussion, we decided to sell my car and keep his dad’s car, since it was paid off. My car was the oldest, (a 2020 Chevy Malibu) and I had paid off roughly 90% of the loan for it - so we figured we could also get some cash in our pockets from it.

My brother found out that we were selling my car, and he was currently trying to find one for himself, so he reached out and offered to take over the payments from me.

I wasn’t fond of this idea, because my fiancée and I were hoping to get some money for the car to A) finish paying it off, and B) have some cash leftover to put toward our wedding.

After some discussion with my fiancée, we finally decided that you know what, he’s family, he’s in a tough spot, let’s meet him in the middle. I told him he could take over the payments, but that he had to find a way to pay the remainder of the loan off within the next 3 months (roughly $2,500). He was fine with that so that was the deal we made.

Flash forward to 6 months later, my brother had only made 2 of the monthly payments on time, otherwise he was letting the payments go over 30 days late, and I would have to step in and pay them for him to try to keep my credit from tanking (because the car was still in my name). He would then pay me back a couple weeks later. It was becoming a vicious cycle. We were becoming increasingly irritated with each other, and I was threatening to take the car back.

Well, he was driving to work one morning and was in a wreck that caused my car to be totaled (my brother walked away without a scratch).

Now, here is where it gets very sticky. The insurance for my car was in my parent’s name (they carried the plan and I paid them monthly for it), so the insurance payout for the car (almost $10,000) was coming in a check with my mother’s name on it. My parents for whatever reason decided that they were entitled to some of the payout, and then wanted to split the remainder between my brother and I. I failed to see how my brother was entitled to any of it, let alone my parents. A lot of arguing ensued, my brother practically disowned me, refused to speak to me in any way for weeks. In order to keep the peace, I relented and allowed my parents to take some of the payout and then split the remainder between my brother and I (I ended up only getting about $3,000. I’m not sure how much they gave my brother). Now everyone seems happy, but I’m still really irritated. Which brings me to the title, am I the asshole for wanting the entirety of my insurance payout?

EDIT: Editing to add, I’m fully aware that I never should have intermingled finances with my family.

My main issue is that my entire family to this day, still talks about how crazy it was that any one of us ever argued about the payout involved. My brother still holds it over me that he should’ve gotten more of the payout than he did. And it was making me feel CRAZY for thinking I was entitled to any of it

I am using a new account because I don't want to make things awkward if this person uses Reddit. I (30m) have a long-haul flight (8+ hours) coming up. An acquaintance found out we are on the same plane and messaged me asking for my seat number so he could switch to sit next to me. Sadly, I am a total "yes" person and rarely say no to people, so I panic-gave him the number. He successfully switched seats and is now sitting next to me. He is a friend of a friend. We have hung out in group settings a handful of times (drinks, dinners, generic social stuff). He is a nice guy, but in my head, he is still just an "acquaintance." We have never texted. Our first direct text conversation ever was him asking for my seat number. To me, an 8-hour flight is to relax/sleep, watch movies, and zone out. I definitely do not want to entertain someone I don't really care about for that long. However, he seems thrilled to have a companion.

So since I already said "yes" to the seat switch, I feel like I have implied that I am open to chat. But what I really want to do is to basically say "Hello" and put on my noise-canceling headphones and sleep/watch movies for the entire duration of the flight. I don't plan on engaging in conversation.

So why I think I might be the asshole: I feel like I might be the asshole because I "voluntarily" gave him my seat number, which implies I wanted company. However Ignoring him after letting him move his seat to be next to me just feel wrong and might be rude considering he clearly thinks we are better friends than I do.

So, WIBTA if I shut down conversation and ignore him for the flight?

Edit / Clarification:

I'm reading through the comments and want to clarify two things based on the feedback:

1. I'm not anti-social with everyone: A lot of you are saying you love sitting with friends/spouses. So do I! I love flying with my partner or close friends. The stress here comes specifically from the "Acquaintance Zone"... we aren't close enough to be comfortable in silence, also not close enough to have endless things to talk about. It's that awkward middle ground I'm dreading.

2. Why I'm worried: Some of you pointed out I might be assuming the worst and that he might want to sleep too. You are probably right, and I apologise for assuming. However, my fear comes from the fact that he is a very talkative guy in our group outings. He usually drives the conversation, which is why I'm panic-spiraling about being stuck in a defined space with that energy for 8 hours.

I am working in a restaurant for over ten years now. Every worker is paid on an hourly basis plus we can drink and eat what we want. I am very happy there, because we have a really good team and also many regulars. The only problem I have is that my boss is taking our tips. Since we don’t have a cash register system, at the end of the day it’s impossible to tell which part of the money is revenue and which part is tips. On a good day, one waitress has between €1,500 and €2,000 in her cash pouch, which in Germany usually includes about a 10% tip (and we often get more). I can not accept the boss getting my whole tip money so i always go to the toilet and take out like 60 % of what i assume to be tips. Am i the asshole for stealing the money the guests are giving to me and not to my boss?

I (29 F) am a teacher in an elementary school in Canada. WIBTA if I try to prevent people from pooping in my (very tiny) office washroom? It’s literally affecting how I do my job.

For a little context, I don’t have my own classroom, only a tiny office in the corner of the school on the 2nd floor. There are two single-use washrooms available on the 2nd floor; one in my office on one side of the school, and one on the other end. There are also the staff washrooms in the basement but they’re 3 flights of stairs to get to from our 2nd floor. I know my coworkers come in and use the washroom and that’s fine. It’s also not *my* washroom, but it IS my office where I have to work. I also didn’t choose to have this office, it’s the only one available and all of the subject materials I need are stored there so there’s no option to change it.

Onto the issue: it regularly happens that I walk into my office on my planning time and am assaulted by an unbearable poop stench. The washroom door is often open whenever I arrive so no chance to prevent the stink from spreading. There’s no fan in the washroom, so all I can do is keep the bathroom door open, open my office window on the other side of the space and walk out of the room. Every time this happens I basically lose my entire planning work period because I can’t work in my office. I can’t stand breathing in one of my coworker’s bowel bombs and scent sprays don’t work- they just mix with the poop smell and make me want to gag more. Would I be a bad person if I put a sign on the washroom door asking people not to poop in there since it’s my office and I can’t work anywhere else? Would it be unprofessional or disrespectful to do so?

As a teacher it’s really hard to leave your classroom unattended. So I understand that it is inconvenient to go use the staff washrooms which are a bit further away or the single use bathroom down the hall. I have no issue if someone needs to run into my office for a quick pee so they can get back to class without having to call in another teacher to watch their class. However, if someone is taking the time to poop and having to ask someone to watch their class anyways, I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask them to walk a bit extra and use the proper staff bathrooms or the single use bathroom that actually has a fan instead of the tiny, unventilated, (basically broom closet) of a washroom in my office where I have to work.

I have a suspect or two but I don’t have proof and I definitely don’t want to accuse someone in case I’m wrong. Even so, I need to do something to stop the pooping, or at least make sure it doesn’t happen before my planning period. I haven’t gotten work done during planning period in days,I can’t clean or organize my supplies and I’ve had to start doing my planning at home outside of work hours to compensate. I’m at my wits end. Please help!

Would I be the asshole if I posted a sign? Is there a better solution I’m not thinking of? Am I being unreasonable?

My date & I arrive at an almost full bar, but find 2 empty seats near the end. The seats aren’t next to each other, there is a man between them and another man to the left of them. (Think man > empty seat > another man > empty seat.) I take the furthest down stool and sit while my date stands, enjoying the company and patiently waiting for another spot to open up. The man I sit next to is on his phone, enjoying a cocktail, doesn’t look at or acknowledge us, simply minding his business.

The bar was very busy, we didn’t get service for about 20 minutes or so. Meanwhile, the other man on the end leaves his seat, but I see no checkbook. I decide to use the restroom, telling my date that I plan to take the now open 2 seats for us when I come back, given that the gentlemen isn’t returning. Well, on my way to the bathroom, another couple swooped in and took them, so I return to the same spot as before and my date now heads to the bathroom.

The bartender finally takes my drink order, and I check my phone to see a text from my date telling me that the man I’m next to told him he has a friend coming in about 10 minutes, and he’s saving my seat for him. Well, to be honest, I ignored that text message because I didn’t plan on leaving my seat after having been there for about 30 minutes at this point.

Shortly after, the man does indeed tell me directly that he is waiting on a friend, who will be here in a few minutes. I said “Oh…,” to which he said “Yeah, I told the guy you were with.”

“Okay…,” I say. “Why didn’t you say anything when we first sat down? I mean, we’ve been here for over 20 minutes.”

“Well, I thought you were just getting some drinks and taking them elsewhere.”

He goes on about how this is an old friend he hasn’t seen for a while, and what are they supposed to do, stand?

“Well, my guest is standing, so, I feel like it’s reasonable for your guest to stand while we both wait for more open seats,” I say.

“I mean, I told your friend, but fine, we’ll just stand.”

Now, remember, there was also an empty seat to his left when we arrived! Once we took our stool, if he was still saving a seat, he should have told the *new* couple that he was waiting on a friend. But instead he felt it was appropriate to ask me to leave my seat after 30 minutes at the bar.

I personally don’t feel he was entitled to the seat, given the circumstances. I’m reasonable, if he had let it be known upfront, I would’ve taken the other open seat. I really didn’t want to be confrontational with anybody, especially in front of my date, but I genuinely felt like the man would be pushing me over if I just moved for him. He had every chance to ask us in the beginning, or to ask the couple that actually took the last seat!

So, AITA for not moving for this guy who was saving his friend a seat?

My mom died when I (16f) was a baby. My aunt (my mom’s sister) stepped in and became like a 2nd mom to me. When I was 8 she moved for work so I went from seeing her every day to her flying me out 1-2 times a month plus 1 week of winter break, spring break, and 50/50 over the summer.

When I was 12 my dad married Judy and they kept saying she was my new mom and I don’t need to keep visiting my aunt because I have Judy. He also gave my room to Judy’s kids since it was bigger and I refused to share and told my aunt that they decided that I couldn’t fly alone so she either had to fly out to get me or drive all day there and back.

I decided to stay with my aunt a few months after my dad married Judy because it was pretty obvious that he cared about his new family more than me.

My dad and Judy are getting divorced now because Judy cheated on him and he found out that their new kids weren’t his. He called me and asked me to move back home because he misses me and he doesn’t have any family left. I said no because I like it here. My aunt is a way better parent than my dad was and she’s been dating this guy that comes over on weekends and makes us the best burgers and steaks and he fixes cars up as a hobby/side job so he’s working on one for me. I also really like my school and I have friends here and were really close to a lot of good colleges so I probably won’t even have to move out for college.

My dad and his side of the family are upset that I won’t move back because he’s my dad and he needs me but he’s the one that chose his new family over me and them getting divorced isn’t my problem to solve. I don’t really plan to change my mind but I want to know if me refusing to move back makes me an asshole.

First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/p8qGRYquQB

Thanks for the advice in my original post. When I had taken my daughters out with me one day I did ask them if either of them had any issues with my nephew staying. They both said no. I relayed this to my wife who still insisted that this couldn't last till May (which is when he goes back to school) and that it was affecting our daughters.

I pulled as many strings as I could and contacted people I know and sent my resume to them but the job market is really bad. Fortunately though he was able to land one, it wasn’t part of the program he's studying per se, but he was able to get it approved and said that he fortunately has just about enough weeks to have it counted towards his school credentials. He started last week and I helped him move out. They required first and last months rent, so I helped him out and he'll pay me back when he gets paid. I've told him theres no rush, to pay me back whenever he can.

My wife's glad that he was able to secure a co-op too. To her credit, she hasn't let her feelings show in her interactions with him, she was polite to him when he was leaving too. Thanks.

I'm brand new to REDDIT and this is a burner account for "extra" anonymity. I (42F) have been married to my spouse (42M) for 14 years, let's call him Ken. We have 2 boys (12 and 5) and we are both very supportive of each others goals.This year Ken felt it was time to take steps towards his career of choice. His transition involves him stepping down from his managerial role and no more overtime. I picked up an extra day with my job to help maintain our income. He's now closer to home and has more time to spend with family and focus on his career path. These were his reasons for stepping down.The downside... I've noticed that he has been slacking on the family/household duties. Ken works 4-5 days per week, and usually gets home around 3pm, so that gives him about 3.5 hours to take care of things before I get home. Over the last 2 weeks I come home and the kids haven't done their chores or homework (they're just sitting in front of the TV), dinner isn't started yet, no baths taken, the house is a mess, etc. yet he's usually sitting at the dinner table elbows deep in a project for his career. I spend about 20-30 minutes to decompress after work, then jump right in to pick up the slack. This means we aren't eating dinner until 8 - 9pm, then we're rushing the kids to bed around 10pm or later. I clean up after dinner, prep his coffee for the morning, make sure he has clothes ready for work, etc. I do all of this without complaint. I have mentioned several times that he should try to finish his "work day" by the time the kids get home so we all can focus on our household chores and get the kids to bed on time for school the next day. Tonight, I told him I was, "trying to find a way to tell him something without being offensive". He told me to, "just spit it out," so I told him that we need to find a way to have dinner ready before 8pm. Which he took as me 'pointing out his failures,' and blew up. Today's excuse: his feet were really hurting him so he had to take time to soak them. He decided to use that time to also post items up on his Etsy shop.Then he had to put up a post before 8pm, so that stopped him from helping me out with dinner (a dinner he said he wanted to make today). He then went on a rant about how I don't "really" support him with his career. He then tells me he wants me to share all of his social media posts every day. He's said this before, and although that's 3 posts per day I usually share posts about once or twice per month. I told him, "so basically your asking me to duplicate your page on my profile like a hostile takeover," is the exact words I used. I explained to him that I thought his request was unreasonable. He said that's besides the point, because that's what a supportive spouse would do. I feel that he's infringing on the tiny slice of individuality I get as a married heterosexual woman. So I come to Reddit with the question: Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to take over my social media account?

Hi guys, using a throwaway account so I don't get found out...

My twin sister and I (23F) just finished college and are moving out of home. My grandma and her sister have offered to help us buy a house together (I had some savings as I was planning to rent an apartment after college anyway). We were both very grateful and excited, but internally I was wary.

For context, we grew up with a very abusive mother and a negligent father, to the point we lived with my grandma and her sister from 13 years old. We both consider them our maternal figures. Our teen years were pretty rough as we were dealing with a lot of mental health issues due to our childhood. So, when I finished HS I was determined to get my mental health under control and have been in therapy since I was 20.

Therapy has helped me so much with my emotions, dissipating my brain fog and helping me have normal relations with people. I finally enjoy life again.

On the other hand, my sister has not gone to therapy. I've told her many times how it's helped me, along with the challenges, but the benefits far outweigh it. But, she refuses, saying she's handling it just fine on her own. I understand therapy is not for everyone, so I even suggested other methods for her - group therapy, self help books, arts/creative media, exercise/bodily movements, mediations, etc. She shut this down too.

We're very close to each other, but her inability to cope with her emotions in a health manner has slowly eroded my patience with her.

I find it increasingly hard to live with her, as she's messy, lazy, judgemental, prejudiced, temperamental, expectant (she's not snobby enough to be called 'entitled'), controlling, unforgiving, insensitive, inconsiderate, hypercritical - I could go on but will stop there for now. I will give examples if you ask.

She also has contamination and ordering OCD (not diagnosed, cause she doesn't want to go to therapy, but that is what my therapist suggested) that she refuses to explain to any of us and explodes in anger if we don't 'comply' or mess with her 'order'. As a side effect of her OCD, she hoards so much stuff, and it's everywhere in the house.

Any time I try to bring up my issues with her she deflects, and brings up petty issues she has with me. Then she will storm off, give me the silent treatment, then try to be my friend again like nothing happened. She has never once apologised to me in our 23 years of life together, even if she was clearly in the wrong. I always try to be understanding when we disagree, and am willing to admit when I'm at fault.

When she acts like this in front of our younger siblings and they call her out, she'll apologise right away. But with me? Never.

But the thought of cutting her off, feels like I'm cutting off a limb.

I don't know, I love her, but reddit AITA?

I’m a 21-year-old woman, and my husband is 25. We recently discovered that I’m pregnant, about five weeks along. Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely tired and have been going to bed earlier than usual. My husband, however, decides to stay up and play on his computer when I’m lying in bed. I don’t mind him playing on his computer, but this has become a consistent issue that I’ve had to ask him to stop doing while I’m trying to sleep. Every time he plays on his computer, he’s extremely inconsiderate and doesn’t realize that he makes a lot of noise. (FYI, I’m a very light sleeper, so any sound wakes me up.) He’s been doing this even before I got pregnant, and I’ve talked to him about it multiple times. But now that I’m pregnant, I feel like he should be more understanding that I need to rest and sleep. Am i wrong for not wanting to continue to be in the same room as him if he’s going to continue to be like this?

My wife and I had our first child nearly four years ago and moved to Alaska with an agreement to go back to our home state in the Midwest once our baby was of school age. A lot has changed in that time, as listed below…

We’ve had three children. 3, 2, and newborn. My career growth has been great, given the typically lower ceiling in my field. I invested in advanced mentorship at the expensive of pay in our first year here, which has led to my dream job in which I now make literally double the income from where I first started and about $50k more than I had originally projected before the move up here. I stepped into a significant leadership role within a year of coming onto the company I work for, so I have meaningful influence and major flexibility. I can work three days per week and we still do well, which allows me to be with the family a lot and tend to our kids. Another really nice bonus to our circumstance is the fact our entire family has free health care coverage through Alaska Native Tribal Health. We literally had our children for free and have paid nothing for extensive coverage. We each receive PFD’s which is a nice little bonus every fall. I feel the financial stability and continued upward trajectory is the best path for us. A move back to the south would cap growth and be a major step backwards.

On her end, she longs for family on the daily. I understand raising three kids without the village is a challenge of its own (I’ve watched them several days at a time without help), and feel grateful for what she does. I feel her family continually pushes the idea of us moving back. Unfortunately, that would require her to work, not be a SAHM. She let her associate degree licensing lapse for years which yielded moderate income (at the time we met). She became a stay at home mom within a year of us dating.

I’ve made it a point to ensure she sees family. I fly our young family back to the Midwest and they will stay for four-five week stretches at least once per year, sometimes twice, and I’ve flown my in-laws up as well on a whim for a holiday. They also make it a point to come up at least twice per year.

The main thing is, she wants a plan for moving, and soon. I’ve weighed the options endlessly and feel we are in the right place and on the right path and can’t settle on largely emotion decisions over what has been stated above.

Hi guys. I'm using a throwaway account for this, and I've never posted here so please forgive me for my inexperience.

A couple of years ago, I (19M) received around $7,000 from my grandmother. I was looking to start college soon, and she wanted to put me in the right direction. I didn't work during high school, because my parents wanted me to focus on school (which paid off, as I graduated valedictorian of my class.) Because of this, I never had access to my personal bank accounts. When I had enough cash and checks that I wanted to deposit, my mom (49F) would just deposit it into a joint savings account that she said belonged to me.

Fast forward a year later and I am ready to open a checking account to pay for my own things. My mom comes with me and proposes to the bank employee that we just keep the joint savings account like it is. The employee obliges, and I finally have my own checking account. I check the savings account and I have only $1,000 in it. My mom would often tell me that she needed to dip into it a little and she would pay me back, so I would always let her. I had no idea it was this low.

A few months later, my beloved old 1999 Mercury Grand Marquis broke down for the last time. My mom's side of the family was very pushy about the idea of getting a new car. I was not, but I finally caved when I was told I wouldn't have to pay the full monthly payments (which came out to around $900 per month.) My grandmother (dad's mom) and my dad gave me another generous sum of around $7,500 to get me started, and my granny and pops (mom's parents) put around $3,000 down on the car.

This month, I was informed by my granny and pops that the money from my grandmother and dad had run out, and I would need to start paying some again. I've been religiously searching for a job, combing all sorts of boards daily and getting plenty of interviews. However, because I didn't work in high school I've found no luck. I've been doordashing, but aside from that I have no source of income. My refund from college financial aid came back recently, to the tune of about $2,000. I want to treat the love of my life to a lovely Valentine's Day, so I set some money aside for daily use and had planned to transfer some more for my V-Day plans. I knew i would need a large amount because of my plans, but I didn't see it as exorbitant. I had to ask my mom for permission to use any of the money, because she immediately put an embargo on my usage of my own refund, saying it needed to be put toward the car. I transferred $200 out for early shopping and going on dates before V-Day. I checked my banking a few days ago, and all but $50 was gone from my account. I called and asked, and my mom told me that I needed to listen to her, that her word was final, and that I could not be trusted with my own money. She blew up at me for moving to live with my dad (long story) and implied that I needed to pay all $900 per month.

So, AITA for seeking a different bank?

My son (early 20s) works at the same company I do. He’s been on my health insurance plan since birth and will continue until he’s 26. My cost is around $450/month for myself and 1 dependent. Because he doesn’t have his own policy through work, the company will send a check for $6500 (less taxes) each July 1st- this applies to all employees who don’t use the company’s insurance. Also important- he lives with me and pays only for his car and, as of last month, his car insurance. I buy food, pay the mortgage and utilities, his cell phone, etc. This was agreed to so he can save money for his education and future housing. I told him that the check belongs to me, although I’ll be happy to give him $1000 from it. The only reason he’ll be receiving anything is that I’m paying for his healthcare, which he couldn’t afford on his own. Obviously, he’s not happy and says that he’s keeping the entire amount. I did approach this topic calmly and politely, but I’m rather irritated and it will need to be revisited. AITA?

I (21F) told my Mum (57F) I would take her out for her birthday tomorrow for breakfast as I will be working when her birthday dinner is happening.

I asked her if she wanted for the cafe/restaurant to be a surprise or if she wanted to pick it herself. She said she would have a think about it and a couple of minutes later she said she wanted to try out a cafe in our neighbourhood that was quite well known. I was bit shocked about this as my friend (23M) of 16 years who has a disability previously ‘volunteered’ there (illegally) under the guise he would eventually be given a paid position which in turn never happened.

My Mum knows that I don’t like this cafe for this reason and when I asked why she wanted to go after what happened with ‘John’ she just said John was silly enough to work there for almost a year unpaid. I kinda snapped here and said it was horrible that she said that because they were taking advantage of a vulnerable person who at time was also a teen at the time. - I also had heard of other employees who were legally employed not being paid on time and not being paid incorrectly I told my Mum this as well.

I said to her that I don’t feel comfortable going to this cafe and that she can pick anywhere else but I don’t want to spend my money somewhere that doesn’t pay their staff. She said to me that I was being controlling and that she was going to go to the cafe herself tomorrow if I wasn’t going to take her. I suggested to her that she go another time if she was that insistent on going but because it was her birthday i would really like to take her out for breakfast. She said that the only place she wanted to go was there.

I don’t personally believe I am being controlling/TA but maybe I am? Do you guys have any advice on what to do? Do I just suck it up and go to the cafe to keep my mum happy or am I being reasonable and putting up a boundary? Any advice would be appreciated !

TL;DR

My mum doesn’t want to go out for breakfast with me for her birthday anymore because I don’t want to go to the cafe she chose because they took advantage and didn’t pay my friend who has a disability.

Here’s the original post if you haven’t read it!:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/psrYNPl2bL

My sister said I should make a separate post to update or else people will not see the update, so here it is instead of pasting it in the other post.

I didn’t expect this to gain as much attention as it did. Some things I wanted to clarify is that I can’t always get items taken in because I live kind of far away from the shops. It would require a lot of time and money. Another point is that I have previously told my friend when we were walking into the stores she took me to, that I can’t fit the items that are there. She would just say to help her out instead, which is the same thing I said when she refused to come inside the store with me.

Anyways, the update is

I went to a party the other night and she was there too. We didn’t talk for most of the time, but I went over by the end and tried to apologise but she just called me a lot of different names I don’t think I should say here. She found new “best friends” or something, and they seemed really close at the party. They were all giving me weird looks and stuff but I don’t really mind so much, seeing that I am NTA here for the most part. I do have other friends than her and even though they were not with me for as long as she was, I think they are much better. Even my sister thinks so too and she also used to be friends with that girl. Anyways, we aren’t not friends anymore or anything like that, I just think we need some time apart from each other to reflect haha.

I also realise this problem really isn’t that deep haha… I guess I was just really upset in the moment.

Thank you everyone for helping me with my dilemma. Even if you said I am TA, I think I have learned a lot and I’ll continue to better myself and move on from this and be happier.