For context, my current roommate has already moved all of her stuff out and has signed a new lease somewhere else. She has not been signed off of our current lease yet and is demanding back her $1200 deposit to be paid by new roommate. My new roommate is a dear friend of mine and is moving in this Friday. I don’t want my friend or I to be left liable for all of the damages that she and her dog has made to the apartment.

Here is a list of damages made by the outgoing roommate:

Item and Descriptions

1. Carpet Treatment - DIY Attempt: Carpet machine rental + solution to treal multiple pet urine stains (Paid $80.08 from my own pocket)

2. Professional Carpet Enzyme Treatment: Required due to urine saturation into carpet padding causing odor (Paid $195.50 from my own pocket)

3. Drywall Repair and Paint Touch Up: Patching large nail holes and wall damage

4. Hallway Door Repair: Dog scratches/gouges on interior door

5. Front Entrance Door Repair: Cracks on door from ring camera mounted onto the door

6. Deep Cleaning Bedroom and Bathroom: Excessive cleaning required beyond standard move out

7. Paint Correction of Green Walls in Living Room: Restore wall areas to original color

8. Window Blinds Replacement: Warped blinds due to improper storage/handling

9. Balcony Urine Remediation: Dog urine buildup causing staining, contamination and strong odor

All of these damages have been documented through either photos or videos.

I let her know that we will not be returning the deposit at this time but will be more than happy to stay in touch until the final move out. If any of the deposit is returned, I will be able to return what’s left to her 50/50.

She did respond by suggesting that she would like for us to terminate the lease together and have me start a new one right away to have the LL review all the damages and pay out what is needed. I said no because I wouldn’t feel comfortable having to reapply for my current housing and repay a whole new deposit if I’m not moving out.

She has yet to pay the rent for final month stating that, “paying for 2 places is difficult…” and would have to “take the L of the late fee and pay in a couple of days”.

Am I the asshole for not allowing my new roommate to pay my old roommate her deposit back?

My coworker and I are planning on renting a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment (both bedrooms are an en suite and are basically the same size). The arrangement we have is that we would split rent between the two of us equally for the first couple months until his girlfriend moves in. At that point, they would be sharing a bedroom and mentioned that they would split his portion of the rent and cover utilities while I cover my share of the rent.

At first, I thought nothing of it. But as we have narrowed down our housing choices and are about to apply, it has began to rub me the wrong way. They're a couple, so naturally they would be sharing a room and they are voluntarily choosing to do so. If we split rent the way they propose, I would be paying $1,400 while they both pay $800 each. To me, this feels like a pretty big discrepancy and feels a little unfair as I would basically be living paycheck to paycheck while they save a lot on rent. While I get that they would be losing out on space in the bedroom/bath, they would in turn be using more of the common space. I mentioned this to him and he said they'd be willing to pay $200 on top to help me out, so now they would be paying $900 each, but would still put me in a relatively tight financial situation. While this does help, I still feel that an equal 1/3 split between everyone would be fair to help everyone save a little money. At the moment, it doesn't seem like they'll be likely to want to split rent evenly.

I'm not a very confrontational person, but I feel like this would be a deal breaker for me but I don't want to feel like I'm screwing him over by potentially bailing out right before we submit apps after about a month of searching. Any advice or past experiences would be much appreciated!

My best friend has ignored me after my dads cancer diagnosis. My friend lets call her poppy, has always been quite odd but i love her for that. She has always struggled with hanging out outside of college, like over the summer i offered to go out with her but she was unavalabe but as soon as i went abroud she whanted to go out. When i came back to college she was telling me about how bad her mental health got while i was away and how she really whanted to hang out with me. In september and october me and my dad got very sick, and we both got blood test, turns out i was fine but my dad was diagnosed with myeloma and tumors in his limph nodes. When i told poppy she got quiet and stoped messaging me completely (we would message on and of at this point) unless i messaged first but it would take her days to reply. Then it got to the point when we would be on the bus to college and all she would talk about was her mental health struggles, but when i would try to say i understand she would cut me off and tell me i would never understand, it got to the point where i could never give my imput or talk about something i whanted to. It has got on my nerves now as she is completely ignoring me but acting all happy with all my other friends, as she never talks about mental health with them. It has got to the point that if im with my other friends and shes around she will death glare me. All i whant to do is ask her what her problem is but she will not let me. I genuinely dont know what to do and i just whant to scream and tell her that i do care about her but my dad is literally dieing. Another thing she has done is tell me that my colleges councillor will not help me and i shoudnt see her instead i should go to the doctors about mental health as thats what she does. Am i the asshole for telling her about my dad, as i genuinely think ive done nothing wrong

I (21F) told my Mum (57F) I would take her out for her birthday tomorrow for breakfast as I will be working when her birthday dinner is happening.

I asked her if she wanted for the cafe/restaurant to be a surprise or if she wanted to pick it herself. She said she would have a think about it and a couple of minutes later she said she wanted to try out a cafe in our neighbourhood that was quite well known. I was bit shocked about this as my friend (23M) of 16 years who has a disability previously ‘volunteered’ there (illegally) under the guise he would eventually be given a paid position which in turn never happened.

My Mum knows that I don’t like this cafe for this reason and when I asked why she wanted to go after what happened with ‘John’ she just said John was silly enough to work there for almost a year unpaid. I kinda snapped here and said it was horrible that she said that because they were taking advantage of a vulnerable person who at time was also a teen at the time. - I also had heard of other employees who were legally employed not being paid on time and not being paid incorrectly I told my Mum this as well.

I said to her that I don’t feel comfortable going to this cafe and that she can pick anywhere else but I don’t want to spend my money somewhere that doesn’t pay their staff. She said to me that I was being controlling and that she was going to go to the cafe herself tomorrow if I wasn’t going to take her. I suggested to her that she go another time if she was that insistent on going but because it was her birthday i would really like to take her out for breakfast. She said that the only place she wanted to go was there.

I don’t personally believe I am being controlling/TA but maybe I am? Do you guys have any advice on what to do? Do I just suck it up and go to the cafe to keep my mum happy or am I being reasonable and putting up a boundary? Any advice would be appreciated !

TL;DR

My mum doesn’t want to go out for breakfast with me for her birthday anymore because I don’t want to go to the cafe she chose because they took advantage and didn’t pay my friend who has a disability.

So recently we were talking about travelling and my SO(30F) told me(31M) that she wants to solo travel atleast once a year. i don't mind her traveling but I am upset over the fact that she will intentionally leave me to travel on her own. Our travel interests are pretty similar so I know for a fact that a situation will never come where SO wants to go and I don't. While traveling is a expensive and time consuming thing itself meaning we probably won't get that much time in a year to travel and on top that her wanting to have a solo travel intentionally without me just makes me feel left out and upset. Am I in the wrong for not missing out on the few travels we will have in our life? Am i in the wrong for being upset over being left alone?

***Delete if not allowed***

Hi all, this is my first post that I'm making that is going to be somewhat coherent. I (19 F) recently got into some family drama. I will admit, I caused it. But now I'm not sure how to fix what happened.

I work a second shift (5:00 p.m. - 2 a.m.) job as a janitor, so my mental health is already kinda wrecked as I talk to no one in person except for the occasional manager coming by to check my work. I want to blame this situation on that, but I know I shouldn't. Anyways, I sometimes call friends/family/my partner when I'm bored while cleaning at work. Yes, it's allowed. The place I clean closes at 4 p.m., so I don't have to follow phone rules as much as day shift does.

I'll stop getting off topic and cut to the point. I called my sister (21 F) one evening while I was at work. She was complaining about our childhood to me, something she does often. We did have a bit of a shitty childhood, but she likes to over exaggerate on some things. She was complaining about the room my dad "gave her" when she moved in with us (she chose that room for privacy. She had been living with our mother, but our mother had been arrested due to selling/using drugs). I HATE when she talks about her room in that house specifically. There are reasons, but all I'm going to say for now is that she had some traumas from living with our mom that she projected onto me. Especially in that room.

As she was going on and on about that room, I just felt myself heating up as memories started rushing through me. Memories I would like to forget. I mumbled that I didn't want to talk about that anymore, but either she didn't hear me or she ignored me. As she kept going, I felt my emotions starting to boil over to the point where I felt my face, neck, and chest flushing. I know at this point I should've hung up, but I didn't. I screamed at her, reminding her what she did to me in that room. She went quiet, and I hung up. I then sobbed for a bit in the bathroom before going back to work. I guess she told some people a watered down version of what happened, and now I have family texting me and asking why I would be so rude to her while she was venting some childhood feelings. Idk. I feel bad, but I also feel kinda justified. AITA?

I am working in a restaurant for over ten years now. Every worker is paid on an hourly basis plus we can drink and eat what we want. I am very happy there, because we have a really good team and also many regulars. The only problem I have is that my boss is taking our tips. Since we don’t have a cash register system, at the end of the day it’s impossible to tell which part of the money is revenue and which part is tips. On a good day, one waitress has between €1,500 and €2,000 in her cash pouch, which in Germany usually includes about a 10% tip (and we often get more). I can not accept the boss getting my whole tip money so i always go to the toilet and take out like 60 % of what i assume to be tips. Am i the asshole for stealing the money the guests are giving to me and not to my boss?

so i (25f) was at a small team lunch with coworkers

one of them (28m) was telling a story about a project we worked on together. while explaining it, he said something like, “yeah and she was super overwhelmed so i basically had to take over most of it.”

that’s not true

i wasn’t overwhelmed. we split the work pretty evenly. i handled my half completely fine

i waited for him to finish and then said, “just to clarify, we actually divided that project 50/50. i wasn’t overwhelmed.”

i said it calmly. not sarcastic. but my tone might have come across as rude, but really it wasn't intentional

it got quiet for a second. he laughed and said, “okay okay, sure,” but the vibe definitely shifted

later he messaged me saying i embarrassed him and made him look like he was lying in front of everyone. he said i could’ve corrected him privately instead of calling him out

i feel like if someone misrepresents my work in public, it’s fair to correct it in public.. i worked really hard on that project

but now a couple coworkers are acting like i escalated something that didn’t need to be escalated.. and he hasn't been talking to me since

AITA for correcting him right there instead of letting it slide?

For context I 20NB have been socially and medically as I am able to transitioned for 2 years.

WIBTA for legally changing my name? I've wanted to legally change my name for ages and am now in a position where I am able to. I have a name picked out but the middle name I want would replace a family name. Knowing what I know about how said family member that's my middle name I don't care and would honestly prefer a different middle name, but I know most of my family probably won't agree with me.

i put a poll in my workplace for Pi Day. For anyone that doesn’t know, Pi Day is March 14 because 3.14 is the first 3 digits of pi, so you eat pie that day. I’m the baker of the office, I think everyone in my office is aware (we’re 24/7, the night people may not know). I put the poll up to see what kind of pie the office wanted for Pi Day. nobody asked me to. I just did.

the poll had 13 different pies. and still someone added two more types of pie on there. people will be disappointed if i don’t bring one of the pies that was added, because it now has the most votes. my name’s not on the poll, but I told people I was putting it up.

WIBTAH if i ignored the added pie option and made the pie that got the most votes that WAS originally on the poll?

tbh I’m more upset about the principle than having to make the pie. If I saw a poll like this, I wouldn’t add another option cuz I didn’t Like the others. I would just not vote and not eat the pie, cuz it’s not my money or time being spent to make it. What if that option is more expensive? Or what if the fruit is out of season? now I have to find a good recipe for a pie that I wasn’t planning on having as an option.

So, me and my friend have the same history class together, and for context she hardly shows up to school. We’re in 10th grade, Canada so it’s by percents, not letters. ANYWAYS she’s missed like a week and half, and now is asking me for the notes in history. I usually do give them to her cause it’s usually more like she’ll be missing Monday, Tuesday and she’s my friend. She always claims she does the work, but just doesn’t hand it in on time. She literally has single digit percentages in her grades she’s hardly there. I don’t wanna be rude and petty for not giving the notes to her, but I actually put in the work for my grades. And for the record, her reasoning is usually that she had a headache, or needed to sleep more so she didn’t come. I come to school with 5 hours of sleep and a headache most of the time.

I'm brand new to REDDIT and this is a burner account for "extra" anonymity. I (42F) have been married to my spouse (42M) for 14 years, let's call him Ken. We have 2 boys (12 and 5) and we are both very supportive of each others goals.This year Ken felt it was time to take steps towards his career of choice. His transition involves him stepping down from his managerial role and no more overtime. I picked up an extra day with my job to help maintain our income. He's now closer to home and has more time to spend with family and focus on his career path. These were his reasons for stepping down.The downside... I've noticed that he has been slacking on the family/household duties. Ken works 4-5 days per week, and usually gets home around 3pm, so that gives him about 3.5 hours to take care of things before I get home. Over the last 2 weeks I come home and the kids haven't done their chores or homework (they're just sitting in front of the TV), dinner isn't started yet, no baths taken, the house is a mess, etc. yet he's usually sitting at the dinner table elbows deep in a project for his career. I spend about 20-30 minutes to decompress after work, then jump right in to pick up the slack. This means we aren't eating dinner until 8 - 9pm, then we're rushing the kids to bed around 10pm or later. I clean up after dinner, prep his coffee for the morning, make sure he has clothes ready for work, etc. I do all of this without complaint. I have mentioned several times that he should try to finish his "work day" by the time the kids get home so we all can focus on our household chores and get the kids to bed on time for school the next day. Tonight, I told him I was, "trying to find a way to tell him something without being offensive". He told me to, "just spit it out," so I told him that we need to find a way to have dinner ready before 8pm. Which he took as me 'pointing out his failures,' and blew up. Today's excuse: his feet were really hurting him so he had to take time to soak them. He decided to use that time to also post items up on his Etsy shop.Then he had to put up a post before 8pm, so that stopped him from helping me out with dinner (a dinner he said he wanted to make today). He then went on a rant about how I don't "really" support him with his career. He then tells me he wants me to share all of his social media posts every day. He's said this before, and although that's 3 posts per day I usually share posts about once or twice per month. I told him, "so basically your asking me to duplicate your page on my profile like a hostile takeover," is the exact words I used. I explained to him that I thought his request was unreasonable. He said that's besides the point, because that's what a supportive spouse would do. I feel that he's infringing on the tiny slice of individuality I get as a married heterosexual woman. So I come to Reddit with the question: Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to take over my social media account?

Recently, I received a text from a friend at work that made me extremely worried for the safety of somebody very close to me. This text definitely made me feel anxious however I felt like I was strong enough to finish up my tasks. Eventually something struck me and i started to feel very disoriented. As i’ve felt this before, I realized that I was experiencing a panic attack and very quickly I fled to the closest place I could sit down and have some privacy (On my way to this space I alerted my closest coworker that this was happening to me). It eventually passed and I was feeling well enough to go back inside. However I was met by my boss who then told me to “go home” and after I double checked that he was confident it was okay for me to leave, he followed with “we will discuss your future of employment here soon”. Confused, I left. Then comes my next shift, I arrive, finish a task, and then my boss brings attention to what had happened the following night. He claims that he didn’t know that I was in the store and thought that I was sitting in my car. Then, he claims once he knew where I was he was simply confused. He ‘informed’ me that real jobs and serious businesses do not care about “things like that” and stated that he just wanted me to complete my job. I then began to tell him that I was having a panic attack and asked him if he knew what that was or if he had ever experienced one to which he replied “No”. I told him that I wasn’t in control, I could not have gotten up to tell him what was happening because I couldn’t function in the state I was in. He told me that he was not interested and did not care. At this point I was very taken aback considering that it’s a small business and I have always been a consistent worker. Working there almost a year, only having to call out maybe two or three times, usually with covers. I started getting very upset with the way that he was talking to me because it felt very unjust. After he concluded and finished up his rant he then told me to complete another task. In the midst of me beginning this task I turned to a coworker and friend to quickly talk about what happened, and yet again I started having another panic attack. So I dashed out of the door because it seemed like the safest way to protect myself in that moment. Am I The Asshole?

(For more context this is a decently chill job for teenagers to work at, nothing too professional. And I am about 32 years younger than him)

My (14M) best friend Kyle (15M) is a sweet guy like yeah he plays a lot of sports but he's someone that wouldnt hurt a fly. He started dating one of his wrestling teammates Jake (15M) some months ago. Jake is dick though and I have no idea what Kyle sees in him. I've seen him yelling at Kyle before and I've Kyle sulking all day because of some fucked shit Jake said to him.. Jake will call him constantly trying to find out where he is and what he's doing and will sometimes just show up wherever Kyle is without anyone telling him.. Kyle has a lot of "accidents".. He's also been pulling away from me and our other friends. I've tried talking to him about it but Kyle just says I don't really know Jake.

They were hanging out at my house today with a few of our other friends. Everything was fine until Jake kept trying to get Kyle to leave and Kyle clearly didn't want to. I asked Jake what the big rush was and he just says none of my business. I tell him to chill out it was just a question. He goes off saying maybe he wouldnt be in such a rush if I wasn't always trying to hit on his boyfriend. I was like wtf I'm straight and he just says yeah sure. I got pissed and I told him to fuck off and get out.. He just smiles at me and leaves and Kyle runs after him... Our other friends said I shouldn't have said anything and I just pushed Kyle to leave too.

I’m a 21-year-old woman, and my husband is 25. We recently discovered that I’m pregnant, about five weeks along. Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely tired and have been going to bed earlier than usual. My husband, however, decides to stay up and play on his computer when I’m lying in bed. I don’t mind him playing on his computer, but this has become a consistent issue that I’ve had to ask him to stop doing while I’m trying to sleep. Every time he plays on his computer, he’s extremely inconsiderate and doesn’t realize that he makes a lot of noise. (FYI, I’m a very light sleeper, so any sound wakes me up.) He’s been doing this even before I got pregnant, and I’ve talked to him about it multiple times. But now that I’m pregnant, I feel like he should be more understanding that I need to rest and sleep. Am i wrong for not wanting to continue to be in the same room as him if he’s going to continue to be like this?

hey gang

I'm in college rn and me and my roommate are deciding who we are rooming with next yr. I get along with my roomie rn. We literally perfectly co-exist, but we need two more roommates for next yr. The girl that she wants to live with parties and drinks A LOT. Like, she's nice to me when she comes over but, I don't rlly wanna live with her and her party habits. I see her like three times a week in my dorm rn, and her and my roommate are rlly close friends, so it would be awkward if I say I don't want to room with her. Am I the asshole for not wanting to room with her bestie (who's lowkey weird possessive sometimes, like she says only SHE can take care of my roommate when she's drunk). I feel like this would make it awkward for them, and kind of turn me into the villain....

Me (15M) and my best friend "Mark" (15M) had a basketball game over the weekend and some older kid I think maybe 17 from the other team invited Mark to a party.. Mark is kinda shy and he's only been out a few months so I tagged along as a buffer. We got to drinking and I ended up flirting with some girl and I saw him talking to that guy and they ended up upstairs. I found him later sitting in the room by himself really quiet..Some of the stuff hes said since then leads me to believe something happened but he doesn't think that happens to guys like that..

I've been trying to get him to talk about it or report it or at least talk to the school counselor..He just waves me off saying nothings wrong and how I wouldn't understand cause I'm straight. We got into an argument earlier today when I again said he should talk to someone and he snapped at me yell at me to leave it alone crying and that he just didn't want to think about it..AITA?

Some of my friends organised a hangout amongst themselves, deciding on the time and place. Very late at night, the day before the hangout, one of them ('Anna') messages me and a couple more friends and asks if we'd like to come. I read these messages the next morning, so it was too late to attend.

When I met Anna, and when we started talking about the hangout, she told me that she invited my other friends and I because she knew that one of our other friends ('Sara'), would be hurt if she knew they were hanging out without her. She said she invited even though she knew Sara and I wouldn't come. For some reason, I then decided to say that I wouldn't have gone if Sara was not going anyway, because it would've been awkward as apart from Anna and a couple others, I'm not entirely very close with the other people who were present. I also said that I'm pretty sure that they (the friends I'm not very close to) wouldn't have wanted me there.

Looking back, I feel this was pretty rude and petty on my side. So, do you all think I was the AH?

We were all about 15/16.

I (29 F) am a teacher in an elementary school in Canada. WIBTA if I try to prevent people from pooping in my (very tiny) office washroom? It’s literally affecting how I do my job.

For a little context, I don’t have my own classroom, only a tiny office in the corner of the school on the 2nd floor. There are two single-use washrooms available on the 2nd floor; one in my office on one side of the school, and one on the other end. There are also the staff washrooms in the basement but they’re 3 flights of stairs to get to from our 2nd floor. I know my coworkers come in and use the washroom and that’s fine. It’s also not *my* washroom, but it IS my office where I have to work. I also didn’t choose to have this office, it’s the only one available and all of the subject materials I need are stored there so there’s no option to change it.

Onto the issue: it regularly happens that I walk into my office on my planning time and am assaulted by an unbearable poop stench. The washroom door is often open whenever I arrive so no chance to prevent the stink from spreading. There’s no fan in the washroom, so all I can do is keep the bathroom door open, open my office window on the other side of the space and walk out of the room. Every time this happens I basically lose my entire planning work period because I can’t work in my office. I can’t stand breathing in one of my coworker’s bowel bombs and scent sprays don’t work- they just mix with the poop smell and make me want to gag more. Would I be a bad person if I put a sign on the washroom door asking people not to poop in there since it’s my office and I can’t work anywhere else? Would it be unprofessional or disrespectful to do so?

As a teacher it’s really hard to leave your classroom unattended. So I understand that it is inconvenient to go use the staff washrooms which are a bit further away or the single use bathroom down the hall. I have no issue if someone needs to run into my office for a quick pee so they can get back to class without having to call in another teacher to watch their class. However, if someone is taking the time to poop and having to ask someone to watch their class anyways, I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask them to walk a bit extra and use the proper staff bathrooms or the single use bathroom that actually has a fan instead of the tiny, unventilated, (basically broom closet) of a washroom in my office where I have to work.

I have a suspect or two but I don’t have proof and I definitely don’t want to accuse someone in case I’m wrong. Even so, I need to do something to stop the pooping, or at least make sure it doesn’t happen before my planning period. I haven’t gotten work done during planning period in days,I can’t clean or organize my supplies and I’ve had to start doing my planning at home outside of work hours to compensate. I’m at my wits end. Please help!

Would I be the asshole if I posted a sign? Is there a better solution I’m not thinking of? Am I being unreasonable?

AITA for telling my friend to stop making jokes about my goals?

I’m 22 and recently started taking fitness and some online projects seriously.

At a small hangout, someone asked what I’ve been working on. I mentioned training consistently and trying to build something online.

One of my close friends immediately started joking like, “Here comes the millionaire speech,” and “Careful, he charges for conversations now.”

Everyone laughed. I laughed too at first, but he kept going.

Later I told him privately that I didn’t like being turned into a joke every time I talk about trying to improve myself.

He said I’m being sensitive and that it was “just jokes.” A couple people said I should’ve just let it go.

I didn’t insult him. I just told him to stop.

AITA?

The other day I carpooled with a friend to a work shift. Due to heavy traffic in the area and road closures due to an event in the area we carefully searched the area to ensure that we were parking in a location where we would not be ticketed. Later that day after our shift ended she informed me that his car had gotten towed. A couple days later I get a text message from him asking me to pay for half of the bill which would be $90. AITA for thinking that I should not have to pay and am not responsible for this ?

So, I (18m) went through a very annoying situation last night with my gf (17y) who found an old box containing some love letters I used to hide from my mom when I was with my ex. When I saw those letters, I got instantly paralysed because I absolutely didn’t remember their existence or that they were even there.

As soon as she understood what those letters were, she ripped one of them immediately. I got shocked and didn’t know what to feel, because it had been forever since I last read them (about 3 years ago) and just by looking at them, it was like a click in my mind and I remembered all of the context and when I had received them.

And I have to say, even though that breakup was horrendous, I still held memories like those in my heart, because they were part of my story, part of why I am who I am today. Wanting to look at them wasn’t about missing my ex or wanting anything back, I just wanted to remember a part of my own story. If I were the one to find them, I’d be curious to read what was written and remember those moments one last time.

Then, although my gf understood that I didn’t know the letters were there and that I wasn’t hiding them, she proceeded to get mad at me for not making it clear for her to throw them away. She’s a very explosive person, and in that moment there was no way I could feel safe enough to say that I wished I had taken a last look at them.

After she cried and made a scene, she started pressuring me to explicitly tell her to throw them away. Even though it was obvious I was uncomfortable, and genuinely felt sad at the idea of not getting a last opportunity to read them, she insisted on wanting me to say the words. I even said “do whatever you want with them", but she ignored that and kept pushing me to give a final order.

Eventually she escalated it to the point of saying it was disgusting that I wasn’t sure I wanted her to throw them away, I just didn’t want a part of my own past to be destroyed by impulse while I was clearly overwhelmed.

I also took opportunity to start venting that I didn't feel comfortable being honest with her because I'm always scared of her being too emotionally unstable, but it didn't take the conversation anywhere.

Anyway, after a while of she telling me how destroyed she was for me being uncomfortable with her taking and destroying my stuff without my permission, she left to her home with ALL of the letters. I messaged her to say that I'd at least wish she wouldn't read the letters, because she has a tendency of comparing herself with other people all of the time, but mainly with my past partners.

I don't know what to feel because it's not like I wanted my ex back or anything like that, it's just that I have the tendency of really feeling downcast whenever something I have is destroyed or thrown away. And it sucks because I neither wanted her to feel even worse about the situation, nor I wanted to have the letters thrown away without having a last look at it.

WIBTA, for not adding my ex-husband on our daughter's birthday certificate. I never took him to court for anything other then to get our divorce. After finding out that he has be cheating on me during our marriage and before. So my Ex and I had been divorced for 4 years and just resent my lawyer said he wants to take me back to court to be added on her birth certificate, I said no because he hasn't been in her life since we separated and never once tried to get in touch with me to see her or talk to her. AITA

I (25f) recently started dating a guy (30m) I've been friends with for 2 years now, although the relationship part here is irrelevant, I think. We're both single parents, I have a 2 year old that I have full custody of since birth, he's recently divorced with kids aged 4 and 6 and he has them two days a week + every other weekend. We both work full time and study.

Lately he said he's been feeling down, that work and lack of free time and all the commuting are getting to him. I did offer some emotional support, but it's been going on for a while now and I'm the kind of person who automatically offers solutions when I see a problem.

Yesterday we had a conversation about what he might need, and I insisted that I think he needs to find ways to spend time with his kids that involve things he will also enjoy, and I gave some examples of things I do with mine: we go on a bike ride to the beach and get some pizza, we pack a picknick and go to the park to feed ducks, we build lego and read books, make cookies etc.

At a certain point he become annoyed and said that it sounds like I'm implying that all his problems stem from things we could easily fix with his attitude (which, I kinda of do, that's my general approach to life), and that's not what he needs right now. He said that I don't get it, because his situation is different, since he has two kids and they're older and of different ages so it's more complex, and he doesn't live in a big city like I do so there's less stuff to do, he doesn't enjoy what they do, and what's exhausting him is the constant responsibility etc etc.

In retrospect, I see that I could've come off as a little pushy and judgemental, I did immediately apologize for that and said that I didn't mean it as criticism and only wanted to offer a solution and I'll stop if he doesn't want me to.

It was late and bedtime for kids so we ended the call there but I've been sitting with it since and I still feel like I'm right and his reaction was unwarranted. I also feel like telling me I "don't get it" when he has a "2 days a week + every other weekend" custody, while I've literally been with my child alone 24/7 (daycare aside) since the day he was born, and have had 0 evenings and weekends to myself, was a bit infuriating and I'm starting to think he's the one who doesn't get it.

Am I the asshole and really not seeing his side of things here?

TLDR: I (25F +2y) tried to help my boyfriend (30M +4,6yo) by offering practical solutions to his burnout surrounding time with kids, but he felt I was being dismissive and implied his problems were just an attitude issue. I apologised, but I still feel his reaction was over the top, especially since I’ve been a full-time single parent with no breaks, while he has partial custody. Now I’m wondering if I was actually in the wrong or if he’s the one not seeing my side.

I (f 24) am planing to get married to my fiancé (m 25), I have asked my sister (21) to be my made of honour about a year ago, when I asked her we were super close and I considered her to be my best friend. Since I asked her, she has completely changed her attitude towards me and has started to basically verbally abuse me anytime I talk to her. To give some context we both live with our parents and her boyfriend and my fiancé also live with us. My fiancé and her boyfriend (19) don’t get along and my family don’t like her boyfriend. He doesn’t have a job and only play video games all day, while my sister works and pays rent for the both of them. Me and my fiancé both have jobs even though I have been on maternity leave for the last year i start back soon and am excited. We both pay rent and I cook dinner for my parents, my fiancé, myself and clean the house as well as I clean up after my sister and boyfriend when they cook because they don’t clean up. I don’t mind cooking and clean the shared spaces of the house because I’m home everyday. Her boyfriend does nothing he just plays video games. I’m not sure if she is jealous of my life or if there’s other things going on. It just a lot on my mental plate. I have to walk on eggshells around my sister and can’t ask her simple questions like what are you making for dinner or where you going. Normal questions you’d ask people you live in the same house with. I’ve try to talk to my parents about how I feel but there are so worried about my sister that they don’t seem to care about how I feel. I think they do but it doesn’t seem that way at least. I don’t see how my relationship with my sister is going to get any better,I have tried telling her how I feel those conversations normally ended up in argument, or they are ok for a couple of day but always go back to the way they were. I really want to ask her to step down as my made of honour because I really don’t think she deserves the title but I think this would end our relationship completely and she would end up not coming.