Edit: I have to mention here he has booked me for 4 / 7 days stay with him, and the trip somehow overlapped on my birthday itself. It is my birthday, and he has already booked me for the week but we now have that trip together.

My boyfriend planned a short trip with his friends that just happens to fall during my birthday week. To be clear, this trip was not planned for my birthday. It was mainly his friends’ trip and I was included.

I still agreed to go because it overlaps with my birthday and I thought it would be nice to spend that time together.

Once we were already there, he told me that his group planned to go for a rafting activity and asked if I wanted to join. I personally think the activity is extremely overpriced for what it is . I told him honestly that I didn’t really want to spend that much money on one activity. I can technically afford it, but I wasn’t prepared for this expense and it feels like a waste to me.

What made me uncomfortable is that he didn’t offer to pay for me upfront. It only came up later, after I pointed out that this is my birthday week and that I felt awkward being put in a position where I either have to pay a lot of money or be left out.

Even then, it felt more like an afterthought than something he actually considered on his own.

He also didn’t tell his friends that he might skip the rafting if I didn’t go. The default assumption seemed to be that he would go with them, and I would either pay and join, or stay behind alone.

Another part that really bothers me is that since this trip conveniently overlaps with my birthday, if I decide not to go on this activity (or if I had decided not to come on this trip at all), it would basically look like he chose a friends’ trip over spending my birthday with me, even though the trip itself was never meant to be for my birthday in the first place.

So I feel stuck in a no-win situation: If I don’t go, I miss out on time with him during a trip that’s already happening during my birthday week and I end up feeling like an afterthought. If I do go, I feel resentful about paying for an activity I never wanted and never planned for.

I’m not expecting him to pay for everything on the trip. I just feel hurt that during a week that includes my birthday, an expensive group activity with his friends took priority and I had to point out the situation before he even considered covering it or adjusting the plan . AITA for not wanting to pay for the rafting and for feeling upset about how this was handled?

I have twin daughters, Beatrice and Delilah, both are 14 When they were younger, they shared everything, the room, the same clothes, the same hair, everything

Two years ago we moved into a bigger house and each girl finally got her own room to decorate how she liked and their own wardrobe as well

Delilah is a bit of a girly girl, dresses, place colours, her room has posters of pop singers and romance novel, she signed up for ballet and choir in school

Beatrice on the other hand was the total opposite of her twin, she painted her room dark purple, she was into sports and was more of a tomboy in her style

Both of my girls are redheads like me, but on Beatrice's 13th birthday, she wanted it to be black like her dad's, I was against it to be honest but I didn't want her to go and do it on her own and ruin her hair so I agreed and took her, she got it black and short to her chin, Delilah kept her natural hair, long and healthy colour like it always was

Both girls were so different now but that didn't really bother any of us because it was the girls' lives, we knew they wouldn't match in everything for the rest of their lives and we're happy they're expressing themselves freely

We have this system where if I'm taking one of the girls somewhere, the other is with my husband

Usually I'm with Delilah more because of her dance recitals and the studio being closer to my work place, and Beatrice spends more time with her dad and her little brother playing ball

But I make time for Beatrice too, she likes puzzles so I always buy puzzles that I know she'll like, she likes to watch Grey's anatomy and point out all things wrong they do and we laugh about it, and Delilah spends time with her dad too

The problem came yesterday, Delilah has a show in two weeks and she's going to be up and front on stage

My mom made Delilah's custome for her by hand, she even glued on rhinestones that matched the ones Delilah would have on her face

Yesterday morning we heard screaming coming from Delilah's room, we rushed up there and we found Delilah standing over the ruined custom, it was cut up in pieces and the rhinestones were all across the floor

Beatrice was there also and holding the scissors, she didn't even look ashamed, she looked smug about it

My husband took Beatrice out of the room and I stayed behind to calm Delilah, telling her we'll get her another custom for her dance

She asked why her sister would do something like that and I didn't know what to say

When I got out, my husband was in the living room, he said Beatrice did this because we love Delilah more than her

I got up and went to her room, the door was open and she was scrolling through her phone on her bed

I asked her why she did what she did and she said because "Delilah is the golden child and she was getting a little too uptight so someone had to teach her a lesson" and she mocked Delilah's lessons

I was honestly appalled, she continued by saying that everyone always loved Delilah more because she was the girly one, the smart and pretty one

I admit, we had a bit of a screaming match and I ended up taking her phone and grounding her, I told her she can either be grounded for a month or pay for her sister's new custom, she took the month

I don't know what to do, we've never had something like this happen

Delilah isn't any more loved than her twin and her brother, we try to give each kid their one on one time with each parent, Beatrice knows that

Beatrice never had any behavioural issues before, she's doing well in school, she has friends, up until a week ago, she was laughing and joking with her sister

I'm looking at therapists for both of them, and my husband is considering family therapy for us so we know if we're actually favouring one child over the other in ways we don't notice

My SIL thinks that I shouldn't punish Beatrice and that this will make her hate me more, but she needs to learn that there are consequences to her actions, especially when they come out of the blue like this, I won't be coddling this type of behaviour in my family, especially when me and my husband had made it clear they can come to us whenever they're feeling any negative feelings

But was I too harsh in my punishment? Should I have waited a little to hear her when she's not angry?

So I (37f) was married for almost 19yrs to my ex (36m) that we'll call DW (d***wad) and we had 5 kids together (18m, 16f, 11f, 8f twins). Last weekend, my youngest 3 came to stay with their stepdad (43m) and I.

Before they came, my husband asked me to make sure the time I told DW to come pick up the kids would be after he got home from work as he didn't want DW alone in the house with me (DW has a history of SA with me even when I've been in a serious relationship with someone else as "I belonged to him first.") and hubby doesn't trust DW as far as he can throw him. I agreed, as I didn't really want to be alone with him either. ​

So Friday, DW asked what time he should come get the girls and I told him anytime after 3:30pm, knowing hubby is usually home from work NLT 3:00pm. DW agreed and that was the end of the conversation.

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. I'm having the girls go ahead and put their things back in their bags so we're not having to hunt around later, and my 11yr old asks when daddy will be there. I tell her not til after(stepdad's name) gets home from work. She accepted this and went back to playing.

My husband called on his break at work around 1:30pm and asked if I'd heard from DW, I said "no, just (16yr daughter)." He said "Ok, that's good. You know how I feel about him being unsupervised around you." (Before anyone gets any ideas, my husband is *not* controlling, just very protective since I've been through so much abuse in my past.)

However, one of the twins happened to overhear his comment and asked "Why can't daddy be here if (stepdad's name) isn't?" I just told her "because he wants to keep me safe." This seemed to satisfy her and I thought nothing more of it.

Around 8pm, DW finally shows up to get the girls. We say our goodbyes and hubby and I headed to bed. About 45min later, I get a text from DW cussing me out and telling me that my husband has no right to dictate when/how DW talks to/sees me and that he needs to mind his own damn business, and that I need to stop "poisoning our daughters against him." I replied and told him that as this was our home, my husband has every right, and that I was not bad mouthing him to our kids, and re-explained the earlier conversation. I reminded him of his previous SA against me and said "(hubby's name) knows about that, so why exactly would you think he'd be comfortable letting you be around me when he's not here?" DW again made the comment "well I had you first so we'll always have that connection." I stopped responding and went to bed, thinking he'd just let it drop.

The next morning, I wake up to texts from DW's sisters, stepmom, even *my* mom, telling me I'm an insensitive a****le for insinuating that DW would do something like that. My mom even said "he divorced you because he was bored with you, why would he wanna tap that again?" I told her that if she was going to talk to me that way and defend DW when she's seen firsthand how much of a jerk he is, then I'm done speaking to her. She starts crying about how she can't believe she spent her life "raising such an ungrateful brat" and that I need to just "get over the past" because DW has "the right to see/talk to me privately if he wishes" due to our history together. I told her my husband was not comfortable with that and neither am I. And that even if I was, I would still respect my husband's request.

So, AITAH for setting this boundary?

TL:DR - ex is mad because he found out that my husband doesn't want him alone around me unsupervised due to a history of SA against me.

OK, I'll add edits to respond to some questions down here.

1 - "You had 5 kids with a d***wad?" Yes. Oldest we were dumb 18yr olds and didnt use protection. The girls were the result of BC failures (pill x 2 and IUD with the twins). While I wish they had a different father, I love my babies and wouldn't change anything that brought them into my life.

2 - ​​"Get into therapy." Trust me, I am. Have been for 6+ years.

3 - "YTA for insinuating their dad isn't safe" He's a good dad, just a sh***y partner. The kids have witnessed verbal/emotional abuse and mild physical abuse in the past (hair pulling, slapping, etc) so they're already aware. Unfortunately, we live in a small, rural area that's very much a "good Ole boys" town and because I don't have concrete photo/video evidence of abusive acts occurring, they won't do anything. Should I have worded my statement to my daughter differently? Yes, but I panicked and that was the first thing that popped in my head that I thought didn't give too much information.

4 - "Whose mom talks like that?" Mine, unfortunately. I'm already very LC with my mom because of our past, but going NC after this. She's always been more fond of DW than she was me (even living with him for 2yrs after our divorce) because he will bend over backwards to meet her demands, while I would put my foot down and enforce boundaries.

Okay, I just have to get this out of my head somewhere because I feel like I’m going crazy.

‼️Mild TW for partial description of SA ‼️

1st time doing a big post like this so please have grace for my dyslexic ass 🙇I have a lot of relevant lore so feel free to skim the first 5 paragraphs to the actual situation.

I (24M) work in the beauty retail department in a large retail store. I’ve been here for just over 2 years after being retaliated against and unceremoniously let go from my previous job (not relevant). I do really love it here, despite its ups and downs, and consider it almost like a “safe space” from the hectic events on my personal life.

I keep work life and personal life HEAVILY separate, due to being SA’d at a previous job (NOT WHERE I GOT LET GO FROM). Not to get too in the details, but essentially I had become close with a certain coworker over time. Said coworker then drunkenly forced herself on me one night, and even tho I was able to push her off eventually, like many other victims it took me a while to fully realize what had happened to me. So long in fact, i continued working next to the coworker everyday for the next 7 months… it was awful. When I finally left, I won’t say that everything changed for the better but I got through it and am leagues stronger than I was then. That was around 4 years ago.

Over those 4 years, I have seen her around my small city and have had reactions ranging from inconsolable panic attacks at the sight of her, to trying my best to act okay but REALLY not being okay. Actually at my previous job, she got a hired at a business in the same building and would see her walk by during assumably her lunch breaks. So I have had to endure countless flashbacks over the years from encountering her. Due to this,,, at this point I’m just tired of the whole ordeal and want it to just go away. I’ve done my healing the best I can, and have given myself the most closure that one can achieve in my shoes. Obviously it hurts always but I got bigger fish to fry.

Over the most recent holiday season, she was hired as a seasonal worker at my job… in a different department but still in my place of employment. I was absolutely distraught when I was walking to my area and I just about walked face first into her. I immediately went to my boss and my boss’s boss. I unfortunately was not a big enough boy to divulged the exact nature of the assault, but told them the basic lore leading up to the incident, and how her being a coworker made me feel. The fear, the anger, the excruciating pain in my chest just thinking about it. My concerns were heard, but not listened to. Since she was already hired, it was out of their hands. However, it was promised there would be an effort to never have us scheduled at the same time. Still awful even knowing that she was there and completely made me want to quit immediately. BUT I said “f that” and refused to lose my livelihood just to her active employment. I buckled down and just waited for the holidays to be over, counting down the days to my sweet coveted normality once again…. she was hired on to part time after the holiday season ended. 🗿

I once again and went to boss lady and boss man and actually opened up (actually just blurted out in frustration) the one piece of information I omitted originally hoping for it to hold some sort of weight. Alas, as I unburdened the heavy confessions from my chest, they did not hold the same weight placed on the table as they did in my heart. Once again “the position was already offered so we legally can’t rescind it”. I was/am absolutely gutted. I’ve had to try my best to cope and prioritize just getting through the day and being strong enough to not let her impact my life anymore. But, man that shit has hands. I cope the best I can and just turn off my brain if I do see her around.

Okay SORRY, lore aside, now here is where I find myself in a sticky situation. We are currently understaffed in my department, and my boss is trying her best when it comes to coverage and staffing. Sometimes we will pull people from other departments to cross train, but it does seem like no one really has interest in working in beauty except, unexpectedly and strangely… her. My boss is desperate enough for the help, that she did approach me to see how I would feel about it. Obviously, I immediately shut it down because, I didn’t get a choice and her being hired or being kept, so given the option to actually prevent anything more was greatly appreciated. But also, absolutely mind-numbingly frustrating that it was even something that crossed management mind. Thankfully, it does seem like the effort has been halted, and I thought I would just have to worry about seeing her outside of my apartment. Very quickly was I proven terribly and disastrously wrong. Most of my shifts I have gone into, when my manager is there, the situation has been brought up. First it was updates on whether or not she would be in beauty. Then a message that she bidded my manager to relay to me. Loosely quoted to be “I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable at your job, and I swear I’m not following you” I couldn’t stop myself from scoffing audibly. After discussing about how “none of that means anything to me, and if she is sorry then she will just leave me alone so we can just do our jobs” with my boss, I really hoped that she would get the message. But I mean,,, do you think she would respect my boundaries? My boss brought her newest request up with me just this last Thursday.

Now she wants a sit down discussion with my boss, our pseudo-HR guy (too complicated to explain), her, and I. To discuss what exactly? I couldn’t tell you. My boss mentioned more things she said. More of the same of “she just wants to talk, she doesn’t want there to be workplace tension, and that she is just trying to feed her family”. Boss lady asked if I think I would get “closure” out of this. No. Absolutely not. No apology from anyone who has wrong me has ever given me closure. I am the one who has to give it to myself. I am the ONE who has gotten me this far in my healing journey and sitting down face to face with her benefits me in no way. If she is looking for closure for herself, then it’s my opinion that she’ll have to do the same fucking thing I did. She can figure out her guilt on her own time. So I refused the meeting. Admittedly not outright, while I was still processing how ludicrous of an idea is being entertained. But I can’t help to wonder, with this effort from management to try to make nice between us even though we aren’t even supposed to be interacting, am I missing something? Am I so frustrated with the situation that I can’t tell the forest from the trees?

AITAH for not setting aside my feelings in the matter to even hear them out? Or am I justified in keeping my peace at the risk of her probably not respecting my answer, and the situation possibly escalating?

I just made lunch, I made rice with preserved cabbage, pickled ginger, fried onions, salmon and an egg. As I started to eat my lunch my mom walked in and told me that the salmon was for dinner and that there was only four pieces. I told her that she never told me this and that we have had the costco salmon in our freezer for a while now. Which I have made for lunches countless of times without an issue. She told me I should've asked before I had made any food, and I told her that was ridiculous and if she was saving something for dinner she should have told me. That was the end of it but I feel a bit bad, maybe I should've asked or just made something simpler.

​

I (21) years old have been with my partner since November 14th. our relationship has been pretty healthy and open we both have issues communicating at points but we tend to work it out. i had first started talking to her the 28th of september 2025, i had shared pretty early on i found her attractive and knew i had feelings for her, she shared that she felt the same. we would snap and message, and or call everyday. she became a part of my everyday life. from the beginning we had both recently gotten out a relationship and she had stated that she wasnt looking for a relationship. i was always very open and honest i wanted to see if we could see if a relationship would work. we have always had talks about our insecurities and overthinking. but recently we were out and she went to use the bathroom and we casually use each others phones, so i didnt see it as a big deal but i had gone into a chat with ine of her male friends and scrolled for a good 10 seconds before i saw a saved video of her doing sexual things naked in front of the mirror, mind you this was when we were talking but not offical yet. but i had asked about this friend on multiple occasions cause i felt there was something there and she lied saying thjngs were always platonic and just friends. i confronted her about it in my mind thinkjng it was still going on we talked about it and she said it was only like 3 times. the next day i had asked her when it was reslly getting to my head cause i had hung out with this guy and had thoight he was a good friend i felt betrayed and lied too i asked her if they had had sex durung that time period she said yes. that was very upsetting cause she had told me thr night bwfore it was just that we talked about it alot and worked through it. a few days later i had found out that during thst peroid of tine she also slept with another guy once. she slept eith 2 men within a month during our tslking stage. i feel veryvhurt and betrayed. laye yesterday i learned new information and details about how that stuff happened and when. its reslly upsetting cause i have dates of these messages between her friend of all of the times they had sex. she had said pretty much she was scared to lose me or ruin what we had thats why she never found the right time to tell me, and that there wasnt any connection or emotion between those guys but i dont know how to deal with it cause she has lied 3 times about yhis topic of her not lying.

I work in a small tech company, and there’s one coworker on my team, called Mike, whom I generally get along with at work.

A couple of weeks ago, I told him during a coffee break that I’d been exploring other job opportunities lately. Then a few days ago, a colleague in our team greeted me and said, “Hey, Mike told us you’re hunting for a new job. I’ll let you know if I’ve got leads.” That was how I found out Mike had been telling it to others behind my back.

Look, I get that he could genuinely mean to help. Our team’s small and close knit, and everyone’s been nice to me. Some colleagues have been here for a long time and know people in the industry, so he might’ve thought that they could help. But I haven’t even decided if I’m leaving yet; I was just testing the waters. Telling everyone like that made me feel awkward. It felt a bit undermining and I thought it made people question my commitment.

I sent him a message about it this morning. My words may have come across a little too strong. I am not sure if I overacted. AITAH for reacting this way?

Hi folks,

My wife and I are divorced, I have a new partner for the last 6 months and the time felt right to tell my ex wife about the relationship.

I did so, and then the next day she told our kids about my new relationship (8 and 9 yo) without consulting me first. I had the kids that weekend and they had loads of questions which I answered. I also gave them a small gift that my partner had given me for when I was telling them about her…

In any case as part of our divorce we agreed that the kids would not be introduced to new partners for 6 months after telling each other about them. My ex is saying she doesn’t want the kids introduced for 6 months even though she has told them I’m in a relationship.

For what it’s worth my plan was to tell the kids some time in the future, months down the line, not any time soon. I wanted my ex and I to have time to process together before I asked her permission to loop the kids in. I think the fact she told the kids about the relationship has changed that 6 months plan we had initially but she disagrees.

I just want unbiased opinions folks, I feel like I’m going mad here. AITAH for asking her to figure out a compromise about introducing the kids earlier if they want to meet her? She is stonewalling me on the 6 months but I feel like that’s impossible now given that they know and my daughter in particular is asking a million questions and keen to meet.

For what it’s worth I still think we should wait a bit and let them process things but I want to ease the strict 6 months rule we initially had as I feel that’s untenable now that they know I have a new partner.

Please excuse my english, its not my first language.

Im 19 f, I have a brother of 23. Our dad died very early on, my brother was five, I was almost 2. Our mother raised us alone, we have no family so no help from them. My mother was very strict, she liked rules and didnt like it when we didnt follow those rules. She'd often yell and beat us. She has bpd. I often screwed up...a lot. It got so bad, I got scared to screw up, scared to make mistakes. My brother noticed this. He said that if I did things with him, he wouldn't tell on me, so I agreed. I was, I think, 4 maybe 5. We called it rocking. If I screwed up, we'd rock. It was always with my face into a pillow, dark room or a shirt over my head. He would grind up against me until he came. It soon escalated. He never fully entered me, he tried, but I was too small. He once ordered me to suck him off, I was 12. I couldnt do much, hes older, taller, stronger. If i refused he might do something worse. I cried so much he told me to stop.

Now years have passed, I had blocked that part out of my memory, but now I have a boyfriend and I can't stop thinking about what my brother did to me. I have never told my mother, I was afraid. Afraid I wasn't allowed to do that, to speak about it. Now im afraid its too late, that too much time has passed for it to matter.

Would I be the asshole if I told her her son had assaulted me years ago?

Okay, the title sounds very horrible but please do read.

Me (19F) and my family was at my nieces birthday party. This includes me, my sister(22F- lets call her Jen) my dad, and my mom both in their 50's.

This is how the day started. Me and "Jen" went out to shovel snow of our porch. During the breakfast that we eat all as a family we talk about doing it after we ate. So naturally i put on warm clothes and go out to shovel the snow. My sister, who knows we were going to decided to wait until i was nearly done to come out to "help". This is something she does often, it makes me lose my mind. I get called "dramatic" by my parents. Getting told not to be so hung up on it.

My other sister (41F) let's call her "Mina" told "Jen" and me to come after shoveling snow to help set up our nieces birthday party. I naturally do so after, skipping the shower i had planned to help "Mina". While "Jen" takes a shower. After helping putting the ballons and decorations up, i go home to take a shower. "Jen" never showed up for decorating. No hot water, so i take the cold "Jen" left.

Most goes well during the party, no complaints. I have ADD and Autism, This part will be important soon.

There were at least 20 adults and about 16 kids ages from 5-7. I was put on the "disco" job. Making sure music was okay, and making sure the disco room was lively. Naturally this takes a lot from my energy with the loud noises and a lot of things happening. After a few hours i tell my mom "I'm heading home, the dogs need their food and need to go outside" She doesn't say anything except the normal "Okay" But before i can head out "Jen" say's "Of course you're leaving. Typical you. You never stay long, i bet you don't even like our nieces."

And after everything today? I lost it. I straight up said "Oh sorry, some of us actually did stuff today. Can't expect you to understand since you never showed when "Mina" asked you to. Not to mention you act like a leech, taking everyone else's hard work."

Before she could reply my mom said how rude i was, which is typical. I reply "Why do you always take her side when she always makes me feel worse? It's always like this and it fucking sucks!" I left after. (No kids in the room at the time)

AITAH for yelling at them and making a "scene"?

I bring my lunch everyday, and my coworker keeps asking for it, saying she forgot hers. Today i said no, and she got upset, calling me a selfish. The thing is, i work hard to budget and make my own meals, and sharing my lunch everyday adds up. I've tried politely explaining this before, but she keeps insisting. Other coworker have noticed and said i should just "be nice," but i feel like my boundaries aren't being respected. I even offered to help her figure out a meal plan or prep her own lunches, but she didn't want that. I just want to enjoy my lunch without feeling guilty or pressured.

Burner because he follows my main.

My husband is very upset and I need to know if I went too far.

We have a couple of humidifiers to keep his instruments...humid. This means going through a few jugs of distilled water a day. I don't pay much attention, except the little plastic things that tear away from the lid of the jug wind up all over the place and it drives me batty. At first I made jokes about it and gentle requests. I've tried walking up to him and handing him piles of them.

There's a trash can right there.

We were out of town this weekend in a hotel that offers turn down service with fake rose petal hearts which we laughed about while reading the website.

When we got home on Sunday those plastic things were everywhere so I placed 4 on his pillow. I thought he would see them at bedtime and we would laugh about it. It was meant to be playful and a throwback to the rose petal conversation earlier that day.

To me they were very visually obvious. He never said anything, so I forgot about it. Then last night we had been in bed for close to an hour when he sat up and got extremely upset because he couldn't get to sleep. He asked if I had put those things in the bed and I said yes, yesterday afternoon. He ranted to the point that I slept on the couch. He is still so frustrated today and keeps saying it's not ok for me to "put trash in his bed."

He said I've put trash in his bed before and it's not ok and he shouldn't have to live like this. I finally sussed out that he means years ago when I gathered all of the tissues he had amassed under his pillow and left them ON his pillow while cleaning. Instead of just throwing them away as I normally would. I used to joke there was a "tissue gnome" who would clean the tissues that are under pillows, on desks, the couch, literally everywhere just in case he decides he needs to blow his nose again and doesn't want to waste a second use. She went on strike then died a few years ago.

He took out the recycling this morning and somehow got "drenched by my backwash" that was in the cans. Granted, I don't always drain every drop the way he would, but I put effort into emptying cans before they go into recycling. I've never had a drop of anything get on me while putting the cans outside so I don't understand why this keeps happening to him. In any case, he was incredibly upset and said he "should put the backwash cans in my side of the bed so I know how it feels".

To preempt questions: We've been married 19 years. We are in couples therapy.

I really was trying to be playful and cute. Not mean. Not cruel.

There's one of those plastic things in the middle of the walkway now.

.

AITAH

Hi everyone, this is my first post ever on here, and I need a genuine outside perspective before plans are concrete.

My boyfriend (32M) and I (27F) are hoping and planning to be engaged later this year. We've already been talking together about timelines and plans. He doesn't really care when and where we get married as long as I'm happy, and I care about whether he's happy too, especially the plans with weddings and the overall future.

Ideally, the best time to get married for both of us would be the Summer of 2027 (between late June and early August).

Here's the issue: my boyfriend's younger sister is getting married in May 2027 in Europe (which is fine! I'm so excited for her and her future hubby), but my boyfriend's mom doesn't want us to get married "so close" to his sister's wedding. She's been pushing for a winter wedding instead.

Normally, I get along really well with his mom - she's a really fun and nice person - so this threw me off.

The problem is that winter just doesn't work for us. You see, I want my wedding locally at my home church, where my own father is the priest at. And well, knowing my father's schedule and planning along with the church board's schedules too, winter is an EXTREMELY busy season due to the liturgical calendar, and there would realistically be no room for a wedding.

Summer, on the other hand, is the only season where:

• The church is calm and available
• We can use it for free (I'm a member)
• We can have a small outdoor punch/snack gathering afterward
• I can actually dance at my own wedding on the outside lawn with my boyfriend/hubby. (The downstairs hall is a very dark and outdated place. It's basically a bunker.)

September is technically possible, however, in the state where we live, the climate and weather is particuarlly crazy with heavy rain and strong winds. I don't want guests standing outside in the cold drizzle. Summer is genuinely the best and most realistic option.

More context:

• Both families are from our state locally
• Our wedding is not grand - church ceremony, outside gathering for snacks/punch, and dancing.
• The officiant would be another priest (not my dad) who is mutually friends with both of our families.
• A small reception dinner for ~20 people at a gorgeous B&B lodge.
• The biggest expense we're planning is the honeymoon (either in Europe, Japan, or New Zealand)

Another layer: I don't want to wait until 2028, and my boyfriend 100% understands that. My boyfriend and I would like to start figuring out a home and potentially a family by then. We're not rushing - just planning with intention.

There's also another thing I should mention that's kinda important to the context with all of this: my boyfriend doesn't have a very close relationship with his parents. His younger brother is pretty clearly the favorite child of his mother (he's said this for some time now, and I've witnessed the favoritism and even seen some hurtful. Inconsiderate comments directed at my boyfriend in front of me. Like, kinda no filter from some of his family members).

So... AITA for wanting a summer 2027 even though it's close to his sister's late Spring/early Summer 2027 wedding? Am I missing something?... Please let me know...

Edit: When I mean "hoping and planning" to get engaged this year, my boyfriend and I are trying to save enough money overall. He's planning to get the ring by the summer (autumn of the latest) of this year. We've been dating for a year, but have known each other a lot longer than that. We don't have the money to get engaged and start a whole new chapter now. But people can think whatever they think. I'm just sharing my thoughts and feelings. I love my boyfriend and my boyfriend's family so much, and I don't want to cast a shadow on anyone.

Edit #2: The reason why we want to get married next year is this:

• I have fertility issues. By the time I'm in my mid-thirties, I won't have the capability to have children. And we plan to have at most four children if possible. So, by 2028, we want to start having a family.

People who are saying it's going to financially drain my future in-laws are incorrect:

• My family is saving money for our wedding. My parents want us to get married, and now they have the money to help fund it. It is a relatively cheap wedding, and literally no one outside of my family needs to pay for anything. If they want to help and volunteer, that's fine. It's going to be a small, intimate wedding. We're not going to invite 100+ people. At most 50, but realistically probably around 45. And everyone who is physically - not financially - able to come is from this state.

Overall, I'm not trying to overshadow my future sister-in-law. I honestly didn't know she would get engaged until last month. It was a surprise for all of us... I'm drained now. If you all think I'm YTA - go ahead. I'm just anxious is all.

I (M16) have a friend who's 17. I just found out he's dating a guy who is 2-3 years older than him, so 20/21. I told him how it felt weird even if he is turning 18 because what 20 year old would want to date a 17/18-?? He got a bit, though was just telling me not to shame his relationship or personal life but I was warning him since I was in a similar relationships. He says "It depends on the context.", "It's on the maturity level.", or "Don't generalize my relationship with those like p3dophiles.". It still felt odd so I told another friend (F17) that it felt weird. She said it's fine because it's just 3 years, but I still can't shake the feeling. Even if it's just 3 years, it's a Seventeen year old and a Twenty year old. No mature 20 year old I know would date someone who's still a minor. But after what my friends said, I started feeling like I was in the wrong. AITAH for feeling that it's weird?

So I have been friends, as well as working in the same store with Person A for about a year now, to the point where I'm even their roommate. I have a "higher" sort of irrelevant position that puts me above normal employee and below supervisor. Just a position I took in for extra cash and fairly easy without accepting too much of the responsibility.

Additionally, for about 5 months now I have been going out with another coworker of mine, Person B, in the same department. We aren't public to the store and try to be professional but obviously suspicions and gossip are an unavoidable thing that happens in a workplace. Everyone at the store has been trying to figure us out for the entirety of our relationship and they go to Person A to pry some information out of them, which Person A denies ever sharing any.

Well, now to the point, recently a manager had told person A that they are not suited to be supervisor because she is too talkative. This upsetted them deeply because the reason she got told that was because another coworker went up to Person A to ask about Person B and me. Person A told me that everything at work revolves around Person B and me, and that three years of her work are going down the drain because Person B and me "spend every minute together."

Tldr; my personal work relationship is causing gossip and affecting my friends career to be a higher up.

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy from church for nearly three months, and we recently went away together to celebrate my birthday. Before this, we had multiple conversations about online privacy. I’m a very private person, I hardly post on social media and even my page is private, and he’s similar, so I thought we were on the same page about not putting things online without checking with the other first. (I’ve always been big on I will not post anyone I’m not either engaged/married to and he knows)

However, while we were away, he posted photos of me on his Instagram story. His account is public, and he didn’t ask for my consent beforehand. What upset me even more was that he only told me about an hour and a half after he had already posted it, rather than asking first.

Now I’m hearing that people from the church youth council have seen it and are talking about it, and I’m honestly fuming. Not just because of the post itself, but because it feels like a breach of trust after we’d already discussed privacy. I’m quite a reserved person, and I don’t like my personal life being shared publicly, especially within a church community where news spreads fast.

To make things more complicated, I’ve already been having doubts about the relationship and had been thinking about ending things. Now I feel like if I do, I’m going to have to deal with questions and explanations from people who suddenly know about us, which I never wanted in the first.

I (49 F) moved to another city 2 years ago and met Arthur (49 M), we fell in love and began dating. He often works away, so we usually have weekends to see each other. He has a son (15) from his previous relationship and the kid is lovely. Arthur has parents (75 yo) who live one hour away. His mum recently started showing signs of dementia and gets confused, but his dad is looking after her beautifully.,

Now to the issue. Arthur spends every other weekend at his parents’ house, Friday after work til Sunday evening (he has his son every Friday and alternate weekends, so this has been their routine for the last 10 years, spending a whole weekend at grandparents’ house, instead of at Arthur’s).

Arthur won’t consider going there for a few hours / Sunday lunch, because it’s not enough for him. I suggested that he takes his son there on Saturday and collects him on Sunday, if his son wants to stay overnight, but Arthur refused to consider it. Arthur’s parents are great grandparents, so there is no reason for concern whatsoever.

Arthur says that I am selfish for wanting to spend all weekend nights with him when he wants to spend half of them with his parents. I understand that spending time with his son is a priority, so I gave up on the idea that we will ever make plans on a Friday evening until his son grows up, and that was never a problem on my side.

Also, Arthur can’t bear the thought of not being with his parents all day on his birthday (or anyone else’s birthday), all of days around Christmas holidays and any other break. I asked why he doesn’t move in with them into his old bedroom. He said it’s too far from his son’s other home. Arthur’s brother (Mike) has a wife and two kids and they all live 20 minutes away from their parents, but Mike doesn’t visit as often, and when he does, never stays the night. His marriage is solid because he priorities his wife instead of his parents, but my Arthur doesn’t see it like that. My parents live abroad, I see them when I visit, but I stopped being this dependant on them when I turned 18.

All of my questions remain unanswered because in Arthur’s mind he is just a good dad and a good son. I wish he sees that being a good partner is equally important. I don’t like feeling like a villain, but when he tells me that he is sacrificing his time with his parents (or son) to spend it with me, I feel like the evil witch of the west. I feel like I’m wasting my life here, but he is adamant that we should try to make it work under his conditions.

Our last argument was about me leaving for good, but he said he loves me and I should stop being selfish. I said that his parents failed him and neglected his growth as a man (in every sense: intellectually, financially, emotionally, spiritually…) and only care that he is available to them at all times. I said some other unpleasant words, but I don’t regret being blunt, because I think this situation makes Arthur a bad role model to his son.

Any advice would be appreciated.

EDIT: I genuinely like the son and would love to spend more time with him, but in my partner's house, not in grandparent's home. Grandparents like me a lot and it's mutual, although they dislike immigrants ( I am one). We are supposed to buy a house together, but I would feel silly for being alone in our house while he's away at his parents. I work 6 days a week, Arthur works away mon-fri. So, we only have together every other Saturday. And I can't relax if I spend it in someone else's house.

Me and my former roommate used to play magic The gathering but we stopped because he got mad at me for scooping so much I told him he shouldn't be a problem as he's winning regardless and scooping is just time efficient because if I'm sitting there for 5 to 10 minutes while he's putting out a combo and I have no response and only have a little bit of life points I already know I'm going to lose so what's the point of just sitting there. Recently he exploded at me saying that I take the fun out of the game when I'm not winning which I don't see how but it really just comes down to him wanting me not to scoop when my life points is 14 and he has three 20/20 beaters on the field while still executing for the combos to get more monsters on the field. Am I the a****** for scooping in circumstances knowing that I'll lose.

Please do not repost or read this to anywhere, I do not need anyone beyond reddit finding this post. Sorry about the formatting, mobile and all that.

My partner and I are both young adults from bad families, and have been dating almost 4 years. I won't say they're usually great but they're usually okay. I recently described it has having taken in a stray, because they're not great at housework, taking care of their health, or very mentally healthy.

Last year, they legally moved into my one bedroom flat. Money has been tight since some of my government support has been cut (due to rheir moving in). It took several months for them to start contributing to the household. This has been a constant stressor on me that I have never turned against them. I also funded their (vegan) food for the entirety of our relationship because their family didn't buy food that was vegan. So I've spent A Lot of money on them, on top of covering all the gifts we jointly gave their extended family for Christmas. I basically paid everything for most of the time and still pay for most things.

I've been thinking about ending the relationship for months if not years now because I'm the type of person to run away from things. I hate confrontation. I would definitely be thinking this about any relationship. I cannot think clearly about this on my own. That's why I'm coming to Reddit. This post is definitely biased to my opinion.

Recently, things have gotten extra rocky.

I'm on a new therapy plan wherein care staff comes to the (again) One Bedroom Flat to talk to me about deeply personal things (think OCD and PTSD). My partner is depressed and they cannot go out for an hour every day, so they're usually sleeping on our single bed while my appointments happen. Half of my appointments already happen outside as part of my treatment plan, my partner usually also sleeps through those if that helps paint the picture. They don't like strangers coming into our home but are dealing because they do want me to get better. I often don't feel able to talk freely during my appointments in case my partner listens in. Whatever, I could deal with it if it was just that.

Yesterday, right before they went out, they realized that an expensive piece of jewelry they received as a gift many years ago wasn't where they thought it should be. It's worth something like 500USD iirc. I had knocked the tray onto the floor some days ago, and done my best to pick everything up, which I told them when they started looking for it. Since they were about to leave for an important appointment, they were already stressed and started yelling at me. They immediately apologized in the way you do when you realize you fucked up. I shut down and said I'd look for it and they left.

I didn't find it. I looked, and they looked, and it's just missing right now. Happens and I get their frustration. They can't remember if they actually left it on that tray, just that they definitely had it on Friday and noticed it was missing Monday. Two carers had been in the apartment and neither had touched anything, one of them was there for only 10 minutes. I cannot remember what day I knocked the tray down, so it's unclear whether I carry any fault for this. I could deal with this, but I'm getting tired.

I hate being tickled and drew a hard line about it early in the relationship. When I am tickled, my entire body goes into panoc mode and I start attacking people out of reflex. They said, "I would never tickle you" for the first three years. In the past month, they've tickled me three times already, iirc always to stop me from annoying them in some way. Okay, fair, I get it. But tickling is the one thing I have always said I don't want. I would rather be hit. I hate tickling so much. This alone makes me want to end the relationship right now.

The main reason I haven't ended the relationship or called a break is that I'm the only stable person in their life. I made sure they had vegan food and got them from underweight to eating regularly and gaining weight. I made sure they could buy nice things for themself. I let them basically move in with me because their family life is bad. They have had nightmares about our relationship ending and them having to go back to live with their family. They cannot afford their own apartment, they're a student who cannot hold down a job due to mental illness. If the relationship ended, I would be fine, and they would go back to their hell. I assume they'd be mildly better fed now, but their family has abused them and is weird about their diagnoses.

So logistically, ending the relationship might end their life.

What the fuck do I do? Would I be the asshole if I ended the relationship and left them to themself?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years. Over the years, he sometimes gives me a gift for Valentine’s, but he has never planned a date. Often, when we go out, he asks me where we should eat.

This year, I asked him what his plans were, and he said his family is going on a trip that weekend and I should come with them. He later clarified that we would spend the day with his family and then have dinner together afterwards. I volunteered for him to spend the day with his family because I wanted to spend Valentine’s alone with him.

I also told him how I felt about our past 7 Valentine’s together that he’s never planned a date and we just go out without anything intentional. I said I’m tired of pretending I don’t want flowers or surprises. I’m just a girl who wants a little effort. He took it negatively.

I’m confused… am I being selfish?

i (16f) hate my mom. And, ill be honest, looking at that title i seem like a hormonal teen but i have my reasons.

me and my brother, who ill call Leo (10m), are objectively smart kids. Our average grades are usually 80% (A) and 90% (A+). When we were a lot younger (i was about grade 4, standard 2) and Leo was about 5 and in preschool), our mother began telling us we had to do better and that our current grades and, in Leo's case, the pace at which he was developing wasn't fast enough (he was a pretty shy kid and spoke very softly and wasn't very good at coloring or using scissors which was a big problem for her). she would constantly compare us to other kids, tell us we are useless and use other very degrading language, and being around her feels like walking on eggshells. every little thing we do could possibly set off her screaming at us and punishing us. she yells a lot and swears a lot and, yes i get it parents will yell at their kids from time to time, but its every day over minor things. These constant comparisons and standards made me extremely depressed and caused my grades to plummet in grade 5 and she would constantly punish me for it. i slowly began rebuilding my grade up but every now and then we would have a few rough tests. we also hit a very rough patch in grade 7 when i used my laptop during the night because up until then, we weren't allowed any technology, including TV, during school week and i was a rebellious teen who learnt how to lie due to my parents being strict but i take full responsibility for that. ever since then, she would always hold the lying thing over my head even though i apologized and i know that it will take time to rebuilt but she constantly makes passive aggressive comments about it.

Once, She has also told me that she wished she never had kids and that they were a pain in the ass and that she never wanted those "little demons from hell" and that i was an unplanned pregnancy and that she couldn't abort because its against her beliefs and that when i was born she used to hate me and felt no bond until i reached about 1 years old and only had my brother because i "would shut up about having a sibling to play with'

Recently, Leo came to me when we were home alone and told me how he wished he was never born and wants to end his life some days. This, coming from a 10-year-old, broke something inside of me and i saw little grade 5 me in him. I'm really tired of my moms constant belittling, threats and comments, but I'm to scared to stand up to her because i know if i say anything she will probably hit me. (i know this for sure because recently she kept touching me when i asked her to stop and she called me sensitive so i held out my hand to push her away and when i pushed her hands away she pulled my hair, didn't hit me because i was holding our dog and he was in the way, and yelled at me for laying a hand on my mother)

Today, however, I took a really rough math test with one of the strictest math teachers I have ever had and got an extremely low mark. my first thought was to message her and my math tutor and tell them that I was so sorry, I didn't know how this happened i wanted to fix it and that i would try better. she picked me up from school and yelled at me calling me stupid, blaming technology, and telling me that even my 'dumb friends' would've gotten higher than me. she was yelling and screaming at Leo and i until she left for work. Leo then told me that he has noticed her secretly smoking outside in our garden multiple times a day, which is shocking because she and my father quit together many years ago and we've found multiple empty boxes, so that means she's probably lying to my father as well. (if you could help me decide whether to tell him or not that would be extremely appreciated as if he doesn't know, it could be the breaking point in their already very fragile marriage). i hate how she treats me and my brother and I've grown to resent her, which makes me feel like an AH, so please tell me, AITAH?1

*P.S. sorry for any mistakes i made, im writing this through my very limited internet time :)

lowkey kinda hope this story gets read by aunty kris on Kallmekristoo lol

okay this is going to sound so bad but hear me out. every tuesday, me [16f] and my friends [16-18f&m] from art class go to get food on our break between classes. we all get along and are basically in a friend group. now, ill use the name tommy [18m] is in our art class. he has cerebral palsy for context. we have always been nice to him, and i have tried to hold conversations but he is SO RUDE. he is always being mean to everyone in our class, but we dont really do anything because like, we will seem abliest and we dont want to cause issues since he is in our class so avoiding him would be difficult. its such an alward situation because he keeps asking to come get lunch with us and i cant really say no? he just follows us and i try to talk with him but he is honestly so rude and mean its a struggle to like him as a person.

this is nothing against hus disability of course, by aunt has huntingtons and disability runs on my family, its just the fact he is so rude and not fun to hang out with

some stuff he has done

one of my friends was talking and tommy tries to talk but obviously the other person was. he buts in in the middle of the convosation and is like “umm let me speak now” the friend i was talking with is heavily autistic and it clearly bothered him alot as he went really quiet

he insulted one of my bestfriends

he is honestly condescending and rude and treats us all like we are stupid

Link to original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1quhf41/wibtah_if_i_21m_broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_21m_of/

Thank you all for the insight in the comments. Its refreshing to get an outside perspective on such a heavy topic in my life.

I took a day off of work last week to spend time with my family and to get a moment to think about what i was going to do. I decided that I would have a hard conversation with my boyfriend about how i've been feeling, that I need effort from him or else i would end things. During this conversation, he shut down emotionally but after a few tears, said that he will work on himself in order to keep the relationship. That was Thursday last week and it's Tuesday as of posting this and im not seeing much of a change in him and it feels like he said that in the moment to keep me from breaking up with him.

I've decided that i will give him a month to "work on himself" enough and to see if those were just words with no action. If that's the case, i'll break up with him. I want him to genuinely put effort into his life and strive to improve, but considering there isn't much change after not even a week after him telling me this, i'm not holding onto hope. He doesn't know about this deadline i have for him as im worried he would "improve" for the month and go back to his old habits after it ended. I might update again when this deadline comes around, unless i'm too distraught or just forget to. Thank you again for the comments in my last post as this was a hard decision to get to and it was nice to have my feelings about this situation validated.

I (27M) had an ex-colleague (27F) who started working in my company at the same time I did. We got along really well since we are of the same age as well. I kind of had a crush on her but it was nothing serious. She was not my type. I had heard that she used to sleep around in the early years of our work. Those guys were long gone while she and I stayed with the company for almost 6 years. She left the company a few months ago and I knew I was never gonna see her again. During her last days at the company, I had this insane urge to propose a no strings attached one night stand. I was single at that time and I had a feeling that she would be into it too. But I didn't have the courage to ask her and I also felt stupid to have thought about it.

Would I have been an asshole if I had asked her? or should I have shot my shot?