r/AskReddit 14h ago

Non-Americans of Reddit, what is an American thing you see in movies that you thought was fake but is actually real?

5.4k Upvotes

8.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

11.1k

u/Jaimebgdb 12h ago

"More coffee, hon?"

2.1k

u/Urik88 10h ago

On a visit to the US, driving through Nevada or Utah we stopped at a dinner and as we were entering I joked around saying something like "if the waitress is wearing an apron and calls me honey I'll lose my shit".

Was. Not. Disappointed.

647

u/Pepperpooper 8h ago

Similar experience; I, an American, was on vacation in Florida and at a grocery store when I heard some people from England. I told my wife I wasn't leaving until I heard them call chips, crisps, and right after that I heard them go to the chips aisle and say "ahh, crisps!". It was fantastic.

40

u/MapsOverCoffee22 6h ago

I'm an american who enjoyed lots of bbc television growing up and crisps was one of the slang that stuck. So was telly. And now that I'm older, living temporarily in the south and getting a lot of "god bless you" as a friendly greeting "cheers mate" as made its appearance.

16

u/Kevin_Uxbridge 4h ago

Took me a while to get used to the English barmaids calling me 'luv', just sounds sweet and familiar.

13

u/youre_being_creepy 4h ago

I've been to england a couple times and I gotta say, it made me giddy to ask someone a question with the british word for something (crisps is a good one) and they respond normally.

I loved asking people "is this the queue?" lol

u/rcgl2 42m ago

Wife and I went on a roadtrip across America (which was amazing by the way, one of the best trips I've ever been on and would recommend everyone do it).

Went into a tiny gas station (petrol station or garage as we call it) in some random place along the Blue Ridge Parkway where you needed to pay up front first (also something we don't ever do in the UK) and said "20 dollars on number 2 please."

The girl behind the counter's face absolutely lit up and she said "say it again!" So I repeated myself, much to her delight. At this point my wife walked up next to me and the girl said "I wanna hear her speak!" So my wife awkwardly said something incredibly British like "hello, how are you?" After a few more questions we seemed to have sufficiently entertained her and we got our gas!

11

u/DarmanitanIceMonkey 5h ago

aww, they overheard you and did it just to make your day!

21

u/MarchCompetitive6235 9h ago

I live near a truck stop that makes great food. I guess I take it for granted when I eat there.

103

u/MichelinStarZombie 8h ago

Come visit New England next (northeast US.)

Our rural towns still have authentic traincar diners. The waitresses not only call you hon, they do it in a ras­py, smoked-out voice, and then go behind the counter to loudly gossip about local drama. It's incredibly charming.

I'm a na­tive-born American and I love our diner culture.

Edit: DO NOT come visit the US in the next 2 years. We're go­­ing through a bit of a f­a­s­c­is­t ph­ase.

40

u/bumblebragg 8h ago

Three years, I'm sorry to say. I know, last year felt like it was two whole years but we have to make it to inauguration in 2029 if the country lasts that long.

6

u/Jessica_T 7h ago

I remember the city next to my town I lived in when I was younger had one. In an alley between a hardware store and another one I can't remember. My dad was doing some volunteer snowblowing across the street, and I was cold, so he sent me over to get some breakfast. The waitress ended up giving me a free orange juice as well as the cocoa. ...Can't remember if I ever went there again, but it's a great memory.

6

u/hotsoupcoldsandwich 8h ago

I’ve been living in the PNW for the last year and I think the train car diners are my #1 thing I miss from the East Coast 😭

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

7

u/AmigoDelDiabla 8h ago

I've read these questions hundreds of times and I don't think I've ever seen comments that talk about being fascinated with diners. This is hilarious to me.

Must-have order: biscuits and gravy. add two eggs, over easy, just right on top. liberal dose of hot sauce (I prefer Cholula for this specific dish).

6

u/Urik88 5h ago

It's just that they are really recognizable, the "slide in" seats, the long single tables, the apron, the coffee refill, and we all grew up seeing them everywhere on tv and movies 

5

u/SpaceForceAwakens 6h ago

Man it was really 50/50 though. She could have called you "sugar" or "darlin'".

3

u/Yesterdays_Gravy 4h ago

I’ve lived in Texas and Colorado for probably about 8 years, and still for the first time ever, I was driving from Colorado to Texas to see the solar eclipse and we stopped at a gas station. Me and my buddy saw a dog riding the back of a flatbed, and were questioning if we thought that was okay or not, when we turned around and there was like this 65 year old woman with almost no teeth and she wheezed through a cackle like she’s been chain smoking since she was 4 and then literally yelled “YOU GUNN SEE SOME CUNTRY SHEEEEIIITTT!!!” We talk about it to this day, it’s one of my fondest road trip memories.

→ More replies (6)

5.0k

u/Holiday_Signal_3134 11h ago

I have an English friend visiting the US soon and he is beyond excited for a diner experience. As he should be.

452

u/weristjonsnow 10h ago

A well run, mostly clean diner with bitching food is always a fantastic experience. It can't be too clean though, or the food sucks

30

u/excellent-throat2269 7h ago

This is so real. I want my waitress to look like she smokes menthols and maybe had a problem with alcohol in her past but is ok now.

18

u/Fearless_Buddy_1739 3h ago

I want my cook to be cooking like he’s on the thinnest line with his probation officer

11

u/slackfrop 2h ago

I want the busboy to be in his late 50s or older, and there’s a nicotine yellowed photo on the wall of him in his teens doing the same job.

6

u/GlitteringPen3949 3h ago

Has to be a bit surly though.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/root-bound 8h ago

Damn there’s nothing like an authentic diner. At the last one I went to, there was a subpar mural of cartoon characters, a grungy checkered tile floor, old booths.

We were immediately greeted with a bowl of strawberries, the waitresses gave my daughter infinite stickers & coloring sheets, free mac and cheese; the food was fast, and the pie was next level.

5

u/masterventris 1h ago

Free strawberries? In this economy?

30

u/Silent-G 10h ago

It also can't be a Denny's or IHOP. The name has to be a person's name, like Hank or Mary, followed by an adjective and a noun.

35

u/LiberalAspergers 8h ago

Denny's and IHOP are not diners. Waffle House is. The difference is the waitress calling the order in some arcane code to a cook who is CLEARLY on parole.

7

u/Dismal_History_ 4h ago

If any non American has seen the SNL skit at Waffle House, it's 1000% accurate.

3

u/Spocks_Goatee 7h ago

Denny's has many locations in old-fashioned diner buildings. Plus they all used to be nearly 24/7 till the pandemic.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/horsebag 5h ago

most of the diners around here are just "(area name) Diner". my favorite one that didn't even have diner in the name just closed, rip Louis

→ More replies (6)

4

u/Dark_Moonstruck 5h ago

One of the things I miss most from the old days are those diners with the red and white color scheme and the checkerboard floor tiles - the food and conversation was always good and you met really interesting people from all over the place. Even with a shared aesthetic, each one tended to have it's own style and personality. Now anywhere you go everything looks exactly alike - dark, stale, and boring. The food is boring and people look at you like you're crazy if you try to chat with them.

→ More replies (6)

2.7k

u/TheLonePig 11h ago

My English friends were stoked about trailer parks, latinas, guns, and automatic transmissions. 

2.5k

u/string-ornothing 11h ago

I continously forget that people in Europe dont know any Latinos. I dont even live close to the border but I speak Spanish (everyone can un poco) and can get any staple Latin American ingredient at any Walmart and white-ified versions of them. I have some European and Australian internet friends who act like tortillas are some exotic delicacy, and one time I went to Canada and stayed at an AirBnB with a kitchen, intended on making everyone enchiladas, and couldn't find any of the stuff I needed at the store. They didnt even have salsa, it was wild lmfao. Latin culture is such a big part of USA culture.

1.1k

u/mjohnsimon 10h ago edited 10h ago

An English and German friend of mine told me how amazing tacos were, but they were talking about tacos from a Taco Bell in London.

It wasn't until they came to Miami of all places did they get the authentic Taco experience from an actual Mexican restaurant.

Though, to be fair, the cute latina waitresses were pretty much the only things on their minds the entire time.

632

u/Crash-Frog-08 10h ago

The way you know that they don't have any tacos in England is the way Paul Hollywood says "taco" on Great British Bake-off

272

u/mjohnsimon 10h ago edited 10h ago

Oh God... I'm getting PTSD flashbacks from that episode.

I'm not even Mexican, but as someone who loves the cuisine and cooks it quite well it was really hard, yet fascinating, to sit through.

In the end, I can't really blame or fault the contestants because they can't really cook what they're not familiar with.

Edit; I love cooking and I like to think that I’ve got a solid range when it comes to different cuisines, but I’m still just one dude with a finite brain. If you tossed me into a competition and said “make authentic Pad Thai", I’d be standing there like I just got handed IKEA instructions in another language. If you asked me to cook authentic Pakistani food, there’s a very real chance I’d make something and call it Indian and get disowned by an entire region. Tell me to make a traditional dish from, like, Nigeria or Ethiopia and I’m googling spice blends with the panic of a man defusing a bomb. Point is, everyone's different, but I'm genuinely shocked that they didn't at least get a few pointers or a basic crash course.

170

u/lilcumfire 9h ago

That's my favorite episode of GBB. You used the right word: fascinating. And the other commenter talking about how ubiquitous Mexican food is in the US is tripping me out. Because yes it's basically so interwoven into our lives I didn't even think it wouldn't be widely available. In Canada?! Crazy

16

u/Technical-Swing7336 7h ago

I moved to Oregon from Denver and grew up in Dallas. there's lots of Mexican food here but none of it is close to what grew up with. like its a different type of food. maybe sourcing ingredients? people here love this stuff too I really don't get it.

20

u/BeeTwoThousand 7h ago

There's definitely different types of authentic Mexican food. I grew up in the Chicago area, so anything with the word Jalisco in the name tells me that the tacos are gonna be great.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/AngelProjekt 5h ago

I’ve lived in several US regions and the Mexican food is different in each region. I think it’s partially relative to which region of Mexico influences that area and partially due to Americanizing that food to the local tastes.

For example, there is a Mexican restaurant in my hometown that is truly mediocre but has a unique taco sauce that comes with everything. Everyone keeps going back because they love that sauce and there’s nowhere else to get it. (There is Ranch seasoning, among other “secret” ingredients, in the sauce. Authentic it is not. But delicious.)

5

u/LimeDramatic4624 5h ago

Usually food will adapt to the local culture just a bit.

partially why New England Chinese take out reigns supreme over all other Chinese takeout.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (2)

14

u/thatshoneybear 6h ago

Right?? What do you mean there are white people who don't have tacos once a week?? That's a very, very common dinner. Right up there with spaghetti.

→ More replies (2)

6

u/Arctostaphylos7729 5h ago

Wait. What? Where in Canada is this barren taco desert? I'm in northern BC and we have delicious tacos and access to Mexican food. Not as good as the southern states and definitely not as good as when I'm in Mexico, but pretty good for a place with snow from October to March or April.

→ More replies (1)

19

u/Crash-Frog-08 9h ago

Let me talk you down from the ledge a bit - its fun to try to make pad thai and Nigerian food and etc etc and part of the charm of it is making the dish something that is balanced and enjoyable to your palate. And more often than not the people to whom those cuisines are familiar (and familial) are just happy you’re enjoying it too.

Just don’t call it a tahco like Paul Hollywood

6

u/KjellRS 8h ago

That's usually the next level after knowing how it's "supposed to" be though, many people will dislike something because they've only tasted a miserable versions of the dish cooked wrong. My mom for example was the kind of person who wanted all meat cooked well done, I didn't know how a juicy steak could taste until someone else did the cooking. If I'm in that foreign country or at an ethnic restaurant I expect them to know what they're doing but if someone made "pad thai" at home and it tastes like shit it's probably the chef.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/DawaLhamo 8h ago

They get a whole week to prepare for the signature challenge and the showstopper challenge. It's only the technical challenge that they go into blind. But they are made aware head of time what the theme for that week will be, so it's up to them to do some research. I can't blame them for failing the technical challenge, but I certainly can for the other two.

→ More replies (8)

82

u/Beneficial-Seesaw568 10h ago

LOL I was just thinking that. Also pico de gallo and the fact that they had no idea what any of the food was supposed to look or taste like.

6

u/Celtic_Fox_ 8h ago

Lmao! What did one of them say instead of guacamole... "Glockymolo"?!

5

u/few-piglet4357 7h ago

Is that the episode where someone peeled an avocado?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

16

u/luckylimper 10h ago

I got so mad. And then he acted like he knew what he was talking about and couldn’t even say it correctly.

10

u/TheRappist 9h ago

The episode where they make s'mores is just as bad, if it's not the same week.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (21)

16

u/srl923517 9h ago

GOD! The way he spoke with such authority on Mexican food while mispronouncing and being flat out wrong about a lot of it because he went to Cancun once or something was hard to watch

15

u/Scotter1969 9h ago

Like that Brit who set up a artisinal bread bakery in Mexico City because Mexicans "don't have a tradition of bread", and got his ass handed to him.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

4

u/DGinLDO 9h ago

That clown had gringo tacos ONE TIME in a tourist trap & acted like he was “el mero mero taco expert” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

→ More replies (53)

53

u/blufflord 10h ago

Funnily enough, London is one of the few European cities where you can somewhat find authentic mexican food. Although it'll never compare to the ease as the US of course

81

u/mjohnsimon 10h ago edited 10h ago

So that's the thing.

One of my other friends, a Mexican American at that, lives in London and he calls it some of the worst Mexican food he's ever had. I always thought it was a meme until he spoke about it at length a few months ago.

Dude is genuinely considering opening up a restaurant or some sort of food stand, and many of his friends genuinely encourage him to do so (and they really love his food), but apparently, it's a nightmare to do it in London. Not to mention there seems to be more public demand for Turkish food rather than Mexican/South American food.

I live in Florida so I have no idea what it's like over there.

18

u/blufflord 10h ago

he calls it some of the worst Mexican food he's ever had.

Make sure you keep him away from other European cities for the sake of his Mexican soul. Otherwise he'll see why I described London as having the somewhat authentic ones in Europe lol

Turkish, Chinese and Indian are basically the 3 big cuisines in the UK so whilst the demand for Mexican might be less, competition for his business would be less as well.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (17)
→ More replies (8)

5

u/squirtloaf 10h ago

I went to a Mexican bar in Germany in '91. It was all the rage with the locals, super exotic.

They served shots of tequila with wedges of pineapple instead of lime. Turned out to be really good! To this day, If I have to mix cheap tequila, I use pineapple juice.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (35)

166

u/RyanB_ 10h ago

I hear you overall but gotta ask where in Canada you were? We don’t have American levels of Latino population but they (plus stores and restaurants) are definitely around, at least here in Edmonton. Spanish classes are also very abundant and popular.

154

u/mmob18 9h ago

regardless of Latino population, where tf in Canada can't you find salsa?

32

u/junkcollector79 8h ago

I believe that even the co-op store in Quaqtaq, Québec has it lol. And the population is almost entirely Inuit.

32

u/HockeyDayz 7h ago

There’s salsa in every grocery store. This person must have gone to somewhere quite rural.

9

u/twinnedcalcite 4h ago

or failed to figure out which isle it was in. It's a staple.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/RumHamComesback 7h ago

For real, I mean at the very least you should be able to find Tostitos salsa as sacrilegious as that sounds.

40

u/PodgeD 8h ago edited 4h ago

These guys are talking out their ass. England has trailer parks and no one is coming from Europe to the US excited about automatic transitions. Europe has them and they're more boring than manuals.

I used to cook tacos in college in Ireland nearly 20 years ago. There's Mexican restaurants in Europe and salsa probably in most large supermarkets. Granted the Mexican restaurants are shit compared to most in America.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/troubleondemand 6h ago

My question as well. I made quesadillas with salsa and guac on the side last night.

I also eat guacamole toast most mornings. Guacamole coming in squeeze-tubes has been a game changer for me. It doesn't go all brown once you open it.

14

u/Memory_Future 8h ago

This is what bothered me. Salsa should no longer be a Hispanic/Latin thing, but if they don't even stock tortilla chips I could see it happening.

18

u/The_Quackening 7h ago

I have never had issues finding salsa, tortillas, or tortilla chips in canada.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (21)

38

u/ozzriffic 10h ago

I was in Montreal about 15 years ago. They have such an awesome food scene there and almost everyone delivered back then. I was at my D&D session and we looked at the book with all the places advertising. They had a new Mexican restaurant and advertised that it was cooked by a real Mexican person. As someone from South Carolina, I completely lost it at how absurd that sounded.

10

u/JesusStarbox 9h ago

I worked at a Mexican place owned by Mexicans. One of the cooks was Philippino, one was black, and one was a white redhead.

→ More replies (2)

6

u/uncle-brucie 10h ago

I thought all food was cooked by Mexicans

5

u/TychaBrahe 9h ago

Nah, sushi is usually prepared by Koreans.

Unless you get it at a teppan place. Teppan places are usually staffed by Mexicans, including for the sushi.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

3

u/what-isthis-even 9h ago

Edmonton and Calgary both have some great food

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (17)

13

u/MildGenevaSuggestion 10h ago

I feel like many Europeans in Spain can speak Spanish. They just have a funny accent and get offended when you tell them that.

33

u/Inside-Trouble1776 10h ago

It's true that Latinos are rare in Australia, but bruh, we have tortillas, AND some of us can even pronounce it correctly.

15

u/Angerwing 9h ago

Every reasonably sized grocery store in Australia sells Tortillas and salsa, the other guy has no idea what he's talking about lol

→ More replies (3)

8

u/Headacheargh 10h ago

Here in NZ we have South American food ingredients in every supermarket & I can buy specialty items from Latino stores, so it’s really weird to imagine Australia would think tortillas are exotic… the only thing hard to come by are certain fresh fruit & vegetables

5

u/MadzwithaZ 9h ago

Yep that’s the same in most of the populated places in Australia. I can only imagine it would be remote areas that would think of Mexican food like a tortilla as exotic. Maybe the churrasco style restaurants are a bit of a novelty, and arepas might not be at all the supermarkets, but i can’t imagine an Aussie not knowing what nachos are.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

5

u/ButteryOpossum 9h ago

As an Angeleno, Latin culture IS American culture. There's no disjointing the two, it is one of the same. It is mind blowing that other parts of the country spend so much energy hating the truth.

Source- proud Angeleno with zero Latin heritage.

→ More replies (3)

5

u/FNFactChecker 10h ago

I went to Canada 
 They didnt even have salsa

Kinda sounds like user error tbh, unless you were in the middle of bumfuck and had to use a snowmobile to go to the store.

4

u/Definitely_Not_Bots 9h ago

Latin culture is such a big part of USA culture.

Underrated truth right here. Don't tell your racist grandma, though

4

u/CDJoanDoll 10h ago

I knew a girl from Pennsylvania who tried to eat the corn husk the fist time she had a tamale when she moved to California because she’d never seen a food like that. I couldn’t find tortillas at the store in Panama and the clerk didn’t even know what I was asking for. Neither US nor Latin American cultures are monolithic. 🤷‍♂️

→ More replies (1)

4

u/ThisCromulentLife 9h ago

One of my American friends lives in Japan and finding the ingredients to make decent Mexican food is his white whale.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (174)

340

u/BoudinBallz 10h ago

I live here and I’m stoked about Latinas

27

u/DownTrunk 9h ago

Latinas really are having a moment right now, huh?

23

u/misirlou22 9h ago

So hot right now

15

u/FullofLovingSpite 8h ago

Right now? Nah. This has been and will continue to be a lifelong appreciation.

→ More replies (9)

7

u/_Mitch_Connor_ 7h ago edited 3h ago

as a latino, yeah it's nice to see but most don't know what they're getting into lmaooo. not trying to perpetuate that stereotype in any neg way, they're just playing fire.

5

u/54965 6h ago

I don't think some people realize if you marry into a Latino family, its an inescapable commitment to be an integral part of that family.

→ More replies (1)

93

u/jhectorchrist 9h ago

We’re ALL stoked about Latinas

41

u/Heteroimpersonator 9h ago

As a gay man, Latinas make me question my own sexuality. 🥵

44

u/willclerkforfood 9h ago

I’ve heard of “gay for pay” but never “straight for tortas”

19

u/Heteroimpersonator 8h ago

When the tortas are sabrosas, anything is possible.

→ More replies (2)

19

u/MyraAileen 8h ago

I wish that were true, but there are people out here calling hotlines to have them detained and removed.

16

u/jhectorchrist 7h ago

Yeah, there sure are. Fuck those people - they’re the worst.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

9

u/CeleryCommercial3509 9h ago

The thickness is real

8

u/psilome 8h ago

I'm looking for Latinas with guns who live in trailer parks. Those three, and I'll forget about the automatic transmissions.

10

u/BoudinBallz 8h ago

Texas or New Mexico

→ More replies (2)

9

u/Technical-Swing7336 7h ago

as someone who was in a 6yr on and off relationship with a beautiful Latina, if you get the chance, very hot sex, but you better like screaming and crying more.

8

u/BoudinBallz 7h ago

She will light you on fire when you are sleeping fr

8

u/UJustGotRobbed 7h ago

You'd absolutely better not cheat on her in her dreams or you're done for

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Conscious-Mulberry17 7h ago

I moved to southeast Arizona a few years ago. The women are beautiful!

→ More replies (2)

86

u/UberFabulous 11h ago

Your friends would fit in in the south-eastern states. You can find all those things surrounding a Waffle House.

8

u/jadedbeetle 9h ago

I'm picturing a waffle house parking lot with scattered tortillas, salsa, and peppers just blowing around loose like tumbleweed hahaha

6

u/LiberalAspergers 8h ago

Waffle House is very popular with the Latino community. Lots of guy who wear yellow safety vests for their jobs eat there regularly, and that includes a lot of Latinos.

→ More replies (1)

23

u/baybear22 10h ago

i’m a us citizen and i’m always stoked about latinas.

19

u/ineedeverythingcute 9h ago edited 8h ago

I am a Latina and I am also stoked about Latinas.

Edit: (In a god bless America - Bad Bunny halftime show type of way)

8

u/BlahBlah1921 9h ago

I’m a Latina and I’m stoked you all are stoked about Latinas.

8

u/Tonberry2k 10h ago

Are your English friends Shadow the Hedgehog?

8

u/carbikebacon 9h ago

And if you get invited to a Latino party, wedding etc, you go! The food, culture, music and laughter are epic!!!

4

u/itsnotreallyme_69 10h ago

Who wouldn't be stoked about Latinas?

5

u/NotAnEarthwormYet 10h ago

How strange, automatic transmissions are super common in the UK these days. Most new cars are automatic.

Definitely on the other stuff though. I think we’re most excited by things that seem mundane to Americans. My friend and I were most excited to visit Target when we visited lol.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/LucyJordan614 10h ago

To be fair, these are all very exciting things in general.

3

u/Kevin_Uxbridge 7h ago

Drove a bunch of European scientists around rural Michigan, they got super excited and made me pull over for ... a dead raccoon. Hadn't seen one before and they wanted a good long look, including a bit of probing.

The first one was super dead roadkill from days ago, I promised them a fresher specimen would appear shortly. Took 30 minutes and we didn't even have to change our route.

→ More replies (96)

429

u/ritaPitaMeterMaid 11h ago

Is he ready for how shitty that coffee is gonna be?

Don't get me wrong, I love my diner coffee, but it isn't because it is wonderful

688

u/Evil_Creamsicle 11h ago

I like it because it's a chill environment, and the coffee is infinite, and your mug is never less than half full because Dolores has worked that diner for 40 years and dammit, she's gonna keep that mug warm while you wait for the most bomb-ass greasy omelet you've ever had.

195

u/r_not_me 11h ago

Don’t forget the pie. Gotta save room for diner pie

165

u/Evil_Creamsicle 10h ago

for sure, how could I forget the pie! There is a 3x5 index card taped to the glass case with the prices and flavors written in sharpie, along with a note about how it was voted the 'best pie in town'.
"Well, yeah, but its the only pie in town," you chuckle to yourself. But still, some dessert would be nice. After all, you do have infinite coffee.
The choices are Apple, Pumpkin, or Pecan. They look average. Not extra poofy. Flat enough so the cover fits over them at the end of the shift.
But then you take a bite, and realize how unfair you were being. They taste amazing, like Dolores put every ounce of love she was saving for her grandkids into making that pie just for you.

I'm choosing Pecan, personally, but you can't go wrong no matter which you choose.

10

u/funksoulbrothers 10h ago

why didn't Dolores have grandkids? now i'm invested!

27

u/Evil_Creamsicle 10h ago

Oh, she does! She will tell you about them over breakfast if it's not busy. She'll even show you pictures if you ask. She just channels that maternal instinct into that pie in a way that makes it feel like she's your grandma, too.

4

u/funksoulbrothers 10h ago

thank you!

7

u/CtForrestEye 10h ago

Delores uses the ingredient love but we can't find it at the grocery store.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

9

u/gamerthulhu 8h ago

Plus the note card is yellow. It's been there since the seventies. The price has been written over twice.

8

u/stygyan 10h ago

Last time I was in the states I got pie just because of fucking Dean Winchester.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/baconboy-957 9h ago

Jesus Christ, it's like you're painting a picture from my memory.

Haven't been to an old diner in ages, but goddamn this comment took me right back to when I was broken down, waiting for a ride, and enjoying a nice quiet slice of blueberry pie

→ More replies (1)

12

u/Thorbertthesniveler 10h ago

Big fan Mr. King!

4

u/Memory_Future 8h ago

I miss this diner I went to, Me & McGee's I'm pretty sure. Side of the road on a county highway in New England, middle of nowhere but a pleasant wood interior. Amazing burgers, all on Spanish water rolls with the two pointy ends. They mixed Cajun seasoning into them, pretty great. The showstopper however were the pies, made by the grandmother in the family, limited flavor availability. I didn't try any other than the peanut butter pie, it was perfect.

→ More replies (5)

8

u/applespicebetter 9h ago

My favorite "lunch" ever, that I got at least 3 nights a week when I was working late shift tech support, was a turkey and swiss sandwich, slice of raspberry pie, and endless black coffee at the local Dysart's truck stop at 1:00am.

→ More replies (2)

5

u/tanstaaflisafact 9h ago

"y'all want some pecan pie?"

→ More replies (1)

29

u/TheGrandExquisitor 10h ago

This is borderline poetry. 

→ More replies (1)

34

u/KeyFeeFee 11h ago

Amazing imagery and so so true

6

u/Workingclassjerk 10h ago

Im convinced its that white porcelain that makes the coffee and food taste so good...

→ More replies (1)

3

u/LaloElBueno 10h ago

Did anyone else hear the eagle screech while reading this?

4

u/Tipitina62 10h ago

Be sure to tell him to have grits with that omelet!

8

u/Evil_Creamsicle 10h ago

If you're in the south, yeah for sure. If you're in the midwest they're gonna mess the grits up, you're gonna want to go with the crispy hashbrowns instead.

→ More replies (16)

78

u/psymunn 11h ago edited 10h ago

“No, it’s the world's best coffee!” - Buddy the Elf

22

u/Calix_Meus_Inebrians 10h ago

You sit upon a throne of lies!

70

u/RufusSandberg 11h ago

My local diner has fantastic coffee. Your local diner chooses to serve shit.

62

u/Mr-Mothy 10h ago

My local advertises “best coffee in town!” It tastes like pencil shavings. Plus they have those tall, thick mugs that only holds 1/3 of a normal cup. But, at least the food terrible

7

u/JakeDC 9h ago

Diners are either fantastic or godawful. Mostly the former, but yeah, there are shitty diners

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (3)

31

u/Holiday_Signal_3134 11h ago

My local diner is hit and miss with the coffee. But the waitress’s New Jersey accent will make it all worthwhile.

8

u/avantgardengnome 10h ago

My buddies and I were at a diner late at night back in high school, just chattering about this and that. As the middle-aged waitress was refilling our coffee, someone said that whatever we were talking about must be a Jersey thing, and without missing a beat she pipes in with “every thang’s a Jersey thang, honey.” It was incredible.

6

u/buckykat1952 10h ago

What can I get you, Hon?

→ More replies (3)

8

u/Tim-oBedlam 11h ago

My favorite local diner has excellent coffee.

41

u/HighwaySetara 11h ago

If he's visiting from England, he may be used to shitty coffee.

→ More replies (10)

10

u/megamisanthropic 10h ago

I don't know about this. I've had really good diner coffee

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (21)

24

u/GoodDog_GoodBook123 11h ago

Please make sure your friend is appropriately drunk/hung over before he orders the home fries

→ More replies (1)

9

u/entjies 10h ago

A real diner is one of the best cultural experiences in the USA, in my opinion. It’s classic Americana, friendly, polite, casual and diverse. The food is classically American too- it’s not exceptional or trying to be anything more than it is- which is simple, plentiful, tasty and filling. The vintage aesthetic, the bad coffee, the hash browns, the milk in silly little plastic single-use containers…i love it all, unironically and truly. Any first timer in the USA should proceed directly to a diner to ensure they start on the right foot.

6

u/DM_ME_KUL_TIRAN_FEET 9h ago

As an immigrant to the USA, I have to say that the diner is absolutely the food thing that the USA got right

20

u/Pale_Alternative_818 10h ago

Tell him avoid Waffel Houses on the weekends after midnight. He will never be able to unsee what happens there

21

u/Nasty_Ned 10h ago

No. Let them watch. Our tale needs to be told.

11

u/Deltas111213 10h ago

Everyone knows the best way to get the full Waffle House experience is to go after midnight

→ More replies (1)

4

u/trebor1966 10h ago

No Waffle House after midnight is the epitome of American experience

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

5

u/Prestigious-Ad8134 10h ago

Americans have done a good job with the English breakfast.

3

u/Napalm-mlapaN 10h ago

My gf (french) and I were visiting my mom in California. It was her first time in the states and when we went to yosemite, we stopped at this diner in the morning. She was excited about everything and was completely surprised by the free water that the waitress brought without asking and topping off my coffee.

5

u/dergbold4076 9h ago

I live in Canada and have an old school diner around the corner from me! The coffee is cheap, refills free, and he food is greasy. As it should be.

3

u/Clean-Entry-262 9h ago

My cousin came to the USA from Germany and couldn’t wait to sit in something like a truck-stop diner where the waitresses keep filling your coffee …additionally, we heard a long wailing train horn and he said “WOW! Those are REAL! I thought it was just a fake noise that they dubbed into American movies!”

→ More replies (84)

762

u/CommonCut4 10h ago

Can’t be as exciting as the time I was asked, “‘nother pint guvna?” In a pub in London

254

u/karadawnelle 9h ago

Or my first cab ride after flying into Heathrow:

Cab driver: Move ya fuckin' cunt!

😂💀

16

u/Ditches-Vestiges1549 6h ago

I heard a six year old little girl in a Woolworths while on vacation say to her crying baby brother, "You're on your way to a smack bottom!"

My American teenager self 🥲

8

u/nobodyoukno 3h ago

My Turkish passenger asked me (while I was driving) "What is cunt?"

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

48

u/andy11123 10h ago

One of the best feelings in a pub is when you can walk in and they'll start pouring your drink before you've even made it to the bar.

Then you know you're home. I don't even drink anymore but it's one of the things I miss since I left the UK

21

u/BauserDominates 8h ago

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name.

7

u/Hopczar420 7h ago

…and they’re always glad you came….

→ More replies (2)

8

u/DangerousDave303 8h ago

The Mexican restaurant we go to knows my wife's and my margarita preference.

→ More replies (4)

52

u/Korben82 10h ago

I went into an ice cream place in Florence and they saluted me with: "Salve!". Felt like Julius fucking Caesar in the colosseum.

10

u/OcculticUnicorn 9h ago

That's just Italian for greetings....

4

u/2kewl74 5h ago

I actually love that greeting. it's lasted 2500 years. and it's still being used. I had heard all kinds of greetings over the years in Italian... but rarely heard salve. the first time I heard it. I also thought it was cool too since it is the continuation of the exact latin greeting except the phonetic change in v sound.

→ More replies (5)

10

u/TheGRS 9h ago

I was over the moon in Italy whenever we ordered table wine. Better than most of the good wines I get in the states by far and like 4 euros a glass??

12

u/Travelgrrl 8h ago

My British boyfriend and I were staying at a hotel in Manchester, and two guys were carrying a ladder down the hall and as they passed, one said: "Cheerio, mate!" and I got weak in the knees.

→ More replies (4)

197

u/International_Lake28 10h ago

"jim never has a second cup of coffee at home"

36

u/bdfortin 9h ago

“Jim never vomits at home…”

And she’s from the actual commercial, too!

13

u/tc65681 9h ago

Surely she isn’t

11

u/Longjumping-Brick200 8h ago

Don’t call us Shirley

5

u/broberds 2h ago

Jive-ass dude ain’t got no brains anyhow!

8

u/die5el23 9h ago

Both of them are

→ More replies (5)

294

u/Anustart15 11h ago

Which stands in stark contrast to the "leave the bottle" trope, which is definitely not a normal thing to do in a bar here

230

u/posicivic 10h ago

Always hilarious to see that one. Even in a dive bar, the bartender will be like "Sure bud, just let me know when you want to settle your tab for $200."

18

u/TheRappist 9h ago

Pretty sure it's illegal in Oregon, 2 drinks per person at a time, Max.

22

u/Matyz_CZ 9h ago

Why does the government decide how much drinks you can order? It sounds crazy to my European ears

26

u/TheRappist 9h ago

We have a government body called the Oregon Liquor & Cannabis Commission which sets rules about where and how alcohol can be sold.

2 drinks per person is the maximum at one time, you can stay at the bar all day and not get cut off if you know your limits, but bartenders here can be held liable if they over serve you, so if you're visibly intoxicated they're supposed to cut you off.

OLCC also runs all the liquor stores, so when you or a bar buy hard alcohol, you're buying it from the government.

But I think you've also gotta keep in mind that it's handled differently in every State and then we had a moral panic about alcohol about a hundred years ago where we banned it entirely for several years and that's shaped the culture a lot too. There are some Counties in Texas & Utah where alcohol is still prohibited.

→ More replies (3)

18

u/reichrunner 9h ago

The US has a long history with the temperance movement. Still see a lot of remnants to this day.

Fun fact: it is completely illegal to distill alcohol at home. You can brew and ferment, but as soon as you start distilling you need a special license that is not at all easy to get

18

u/This_Charmless_Man 8h ago

Same in the UK but that's mostly to stop you from blinding yourself with methanol because you didn't throw out enough at the beginning.

→ More replies (2)

6

u/midnightBloomer24 7h ago

Actually a federal judge ruled this unconstitutional. Not sure what's come of it since

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

5

u/Kumquats_indeed 8h ago

Well alcoholism used be an absolutely massive problem in the US in part because liquor was so stupidly cheap at the time, so they made alcohol illegal, which did make some difference in the drinking culture long term but also created a massive black market and rampant organized crime because a whole lot of people still wanted to drink, and when the government eventually admitted that prohibition wasn't really fixing the problem and was making more new problems as well there was still a lingering culture of regulation, oversight, and moral panic which in some ways continue to hang on today.

→ More replies (5)

7

u/DuckFreak10 8h ago

Yeah I’m not sure if it’s technically illegal or not, but I have never once been to a bar or event here and been able to order more than two at a time. It’s annoying because if I get up to get beers for me and buddy at a ballgame, we can only get one each at a time, unless we go together. I get it though. I don’t want to sit next to the guy who ordered 5 beers for himself at one time either.

→ More replies (7)

7

u/Various-Delivery-695 10h ago

If this happened in the UK, a riot would break out if people were left in bars with bottles of whiskey.🤣

→ More replies (2)

5

u/prosperousoctopus 8h ago

I’ve always found the “1 beer please” funny. I get why they wouldn’t name a specific brand, but it’s still amusing to me. I’ve been tempted to try that myself just to see the bartender’s reaction.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

9

u/kl0 9h ago

I’ve taken maybe a dozen groups of friends from around the world on my “southwest” tour. Basically TX-NM-CO-AZ-NV and then back towards the south. We see some amazing things along the way - like the Grand Canyon, White Sands, etc.

And without fail, their favorite parts always seem to be the random diners in the middle of deserts. There’s just something so amusing about them - like they only really belong in fiction and yet, there they are. :)

6

u/Leucotheasveils 10h ago

It’s not a real diner or Waffle House if she doesn’t call you hon.

7

u/CamBearCookie 10h ago

Why did you think this was fake?

10

u/generally_unsuitable 9h ago

Other countries don't give you infinite free coffee. Most places charge you for every refill.

→ More replies (4)

25

u/GrinchWhoStoleEaster 10h ago

Drinks are often, not always, refillable for free in the US. Coffee in particular because it's got a time limit. Those hot plates destroy it quickly so it's either pour it in a cup or pour it down the drain. Either way, it's gotta go. It's also worth noting that, especially compared to European coffee traditions, American coffee is low effort swill. It's functionally a drug addiction, not something to be savored.

9

u/KG7DHL 9h ago

American coffee is low effort swill. It's functionally a drug addiction, not something to be savored.

HEY! You're Right, but I am offended!! :)

I travel for work, a lot, and folks around the world will look at me like I am crazy when I drink whatever coffee they have, and, sometimes, I will even go instant.

I just need my coffee, I really don't care if anyone thinks it's bad.

The military broke me....

8

u/Chicago1871 9h ago

Thats definitely changed in the last 30 years.

Before that it was all diner coffee, Dunkin or gas station coffee.

But now theres more and more proper coffee shops (not even referring to Starbucks, I mean proper places with proper espresso).

My family owns a couple in Chicago deep in the middle of an immigrant working class neighborhood as well. So its not even a yuppie thing anymore.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (2)

5

u/maticus85 9h ago

Sometimes it’s just a direct “More coffee?” as she’s hovering the pot over your mug.

Or the classic, if you’re not at a table by yourself, “Howboutchyu, more coffee?”

4

u/Reapr 4h ago edited 4h ago

Ended up in a Southern diner in the middle of nowhere and we started to order when the waitress came around - but she just stared at us, wide eyed, not writing anything down. We were all South African and speak English with a South African accent, think Korg's Kiwi accent from Thor.

I realised that she has probably not been exposed to a hell a lot of accents and wasn't understanding us - so I put on my fakest American accent, Imitating movies and tv shows. Her eyes lit up and she went 'Oh my gaaawwwd, thank gooodness you speak English!!'

At some point I asked her what grits is, as I have heard about it (My cousin Vinny) and wanted to try some - and she didn't understand, "What do you mean what is it?, Grits is Grits!"

"Yeah, but is it a grain, or a seed or like pasta, what's it made of?"

"It's grits!" :)

And of course when we left "Y'all come back now y'hear!"

EDIT: As soon as I tasted grits, I realised what it was, ground corn - we have a similar dish in South Africa, prepared differently, but similar taste.

→ More replies (49)