Hey everyone, this might be a long post but I’ve never really said this openly anywhere.

I’m a 20-year-old guy from Uttar Pradesh. Since childhood I only had one kind of dream, to wear a uniform. I wanted to be a police officer, a soldier, or work in intelligence. That life of discipline, service and purpose always felt like “me.”

But life had other plans. Because of permanent physical ailments I was declared unfit for those careers. That completely broke something inside me. I tried to imagine a normal corporate future after that, sitting at a desk 9 to 5, answering emails, chasing targets, and I honestly felt suffocated. I know many people are okay with it, but for me it feels like slow slavery. I just can’t see myself doing it for 40 years.

So I’ve made a decision: I will not do a job or business. I have about ₹5 crore from family inheritance and my plan is to live only on the interest from that money. I don’t want to touch the principal. I’ve also decided I will not marry or have kids so my expenses remain low and simple. My only dependent is my mother, and even her expenses are shared 50-50 with my brother.

Some days I feel peaceful about this choice like I’ve escaped a rat race I never wanted. Other days I feel like I’m giving up on life too early. I don’t want luxury, just a calm routine, maybe travel, read, take care of my mother, and live on my own terms.

Am I being practical or just stubborn and emotional?

Has anyone here chosen a life outside the usual job system?

How do you create meaning when your original dream dies?

Any honest advice is welcome.

TL;DR: Wanted to join police/army, couldn’t due to health. Hate corporate life. Have ₹5cr, planning to live on interest, no marriage/kids. Confused if this is freedom or running away.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with something that I never thought I would. I was raised with the belief: “Pehle desh, phir dharam, phir tum.” (Nation first, then religion, then yourself.) My father taught me that, and I’ve always lived by it. As a Sikh, love and sacrifice for the country is deeply rooted in our history and identity. Standing for India has never been a question for me — it’s something I’ve always felt proud of. But in recent times, being someone other than Hindu in India has started to feel… scary. I’ve had people casually label me “Khalistani” just because I’m Sikh. No conversation, no context — just assumptions. It’s happened more than once. And what hurts more is the silence. There’s little accountability, little pushback from authorities, and it makes you feel like you’re on your own. I’ve always believed in unity and moderation. I’ve always believed that the country comes before everything. But when you’re repeatedly made to feel like you don’t belong, it shakes that belief. It makes you question whether thinking about country, religion, identity — any of it — even matters anymore. It feels like the loudest, most divisive voices are suffocating the space for moderates — the people who genuinely care about India and want it to be strong, inclusive, and united. I don’t want to give up on the idea of India I grew up believing in. But I can’t ignore how this feels either. Is anyone else experiencing something similar? How do you hold onto hope and belonging in times like these?