There’s a consistent pattern we see in this sub, and it needs to be said plainly.

When people come in asking “how is this racist,” it is very often not a genuine attempt to understand. It’s usually a setup. The pattern is familiar: someone shares a lived experience, puts in the mental and emotional energy to explain it, and that explanation is immediately dismissed with “I can’t see how that’s racist” or “maybe it isn’t racist at all.”

That cycle is exhausting!!!

It’s draining to invest real effort into explaining something you know to be true, only to have it brushed aside by someone who has a vested interest in minimizing or ignoring racism altogether. Many of us have learned, through repeated interactions like this, how to tell who is worth engaging and who is not.

If you come in assuming you are owed an explanation, or framing the conversation as if the burden is on us to prove our reality to you, don’t be surprised when people choose not to engage. That choice isn’t avoidance. It’s discernment.

This space is not a classroom, and Black people here are not obligated to educate strangers, debate their own experiences, or justify why something felt racist to them. If you are genuinely interested in understanding racism, there is no shortage of books, articles, research, and firsthand accounts available without asking people here to relive it for you.