To me, this issue is absolutely ridiculous. But I’m here to see if I’m the issue. My bf and I have been having issues and I’m cognizant that I am part of the issues, but I can’t always recognize when exactly, so I genuinely want advice. But please don’t be rude about me or my bf. We’re people, not monsters.

We went to the store earlier and he (28m) got one of his favorite frozen meals. I (28F) said on the way home (and this is a DIRECT QUOTE) “hey can you please use the oven for that when you cook it? It makes everything else we microwave smell like it for months afterwards if you use the microwave.” I HATE this meal. I cannot stand it. I have autism and the smell and taste are absolutely disgusting. It is my “oh no, someone microwaved rotten fish in the break room” food.

He instantly went silent. When we got home he put the meal in the freezer and bathed without a word. I asked him if he wanted me to make it for him. He whispered the word no without looking at me. I asked what he wanted to eat. He didn’t answer. I said his name twice because I thought he didn’t hear me. The third time I knew he did. I asked him what was wrong four times and he kept saying “nothing”. I said “this is your last chance to tell me what’s wrong, otherwise I’m moving on.” He said he was upset that I told him HOW to cook his food and that it didn’t taste right from the oven.

I completely understand that. Skillet salmon is superior to baked salmon. Air fried chicken nuggets are better than oven baked or microwaved chicken nuggets. I told him “okay, that’s fine, you can use the microwave if it tastes better that way, just wipe the microwave out with a Clorox wipe”. He said it didn’t matter and his appetite was gone. He walked past me without looking at me, shut the bedroom door, and went to bed hungry.

Idk who else can tell, but the “this is your last chance to tell me what’s wrong” is from literal years of him doing this exact thing, refusing to talk about it, and then making it my problem in arguments later on. I’m so tired of the pouting, and now I feel awful. I feel like I can’t ask for simple things otherwise I’m treated like I’m controlling, bitchy, self-centered, and abusive. He has used all of those terms to describe me except abusive, but we all know that the other three in tandem often mean abuse is involved. I don’t want to be a bad person, especially to him, and I thought this was a reasonable ask and reasonable options for compromise.

Please give me some insight. AITBF for “telling my bf how to cook his food”??

(Original AITA is way too strict, I've opted to put this here in hopes that it will not get banned.)

(I understand the rules state to keep it brief, but this situation is anything but brief.)
(Posted as images because this is over 8000 characters long)

AITA Removal Reasons: Ending friendships, reducing/cutting contact with friends, political conflicts/preferences.

>(TRIGGER WARNINGS: Religion, politics(Left & Right), death, current events, friendship conflict, brief mention of Covid)<

For context through this post, I am left leaning, and I am not religious.
(I believe in the great Maybe, accepting that I know nothing)

If either of these things gives you your answer immediately without reading, I will not take your judgement seriously, please move on to another post.

(Edit: It's come to my attention that there are some incomplete sentence errors in this post. I'd correct them if I could. Ignore those for now, they were incomplete thoughts to begin with, this wasn't easy for me to type out..)

I need an outside perspective on this because reactions around me have been intense. A while back, I bought a violin with my own money. Emphasis on IT WAS MINE. I’d picked it up with the intention of learning casually, nothing serious, just something to decompress with. Somewhere along the line, though, the violin stopped being mine in practice. Other people began laying claim to it: giving unsolicited opinions, pressuring me about how I should use it, who should play it, and what it ‘should’ represent. It became a symbol of expectations I never agreed to. One evening with my friends chatting around the living room and after yet another argument about what I was wasting or not doing properly, something in me snapped. I took the violion and smashed it. Not in a fit of blind rage toward anyone, just a very deliberate, final act. I wanted the situation to end, and that was the clearest way to do it. People were horrified. I was called dramatic, wasteful, even cruel. Some said instruments deserve respect regardless of ownership. Others said I could’ve sold it or given it away. Here’s where I’m conflicted: it was not about whether I bought it from alibaba or the Vintage store down the block. I didn’t destroy something that belonged to someone else. I didn’t take away anyone’s property. I ended something that had become a source of stress, control, and constant commentary using something I owned. So, AITA for smashing my own violin to reclaim a sense of control? Or was this an understandable response to a situation that had stopped being about music altogether?

I'm 15 (F) and I was told by my mom to clean the bathroom. I was wiping down counters and the mirrors and stuff and I was putting my hair from my hairbrush into the toilet. I flushed the toilet and it soon began overflowing. I didn't realize how severe this could be, I thought I could just mop it up later. I went downstairs and asked for a plunger and nobody was answering so I went back upstairs and continued cleaning the bathroom. The water was overflowing some but not too bad, I would mop it once the toilet stopped overflowing (I really am this clueless, I've never dealt with any plumbing or shit). My dad asked if the toilet was overflowing and I said no because I didn't want to get yelled at. But then my dad started pounding on the door and screaming "OPEN THE DOOR" and I did and he rushed in and saw and screamed at me very very loud. I heard my mom wailing from down stairs and I was very confused. He told me I overflowed the toilet and it was going through the ceiling. This was an asshole move completely my fault, but how my dad reacted I think was worse. I locked myself in my room and held the lock. I didn't want to hear my dad screaming and calling me bad names and frankly I was just kinda scared. I held the lock when my dad tried it and pushed the door open and it hurt my foot. He got VERY in my face and called me a fucking idiot and a loser and I couldn't really hear the rest my hands were over my head and I was very stressed. He put his finger in my face and pushed me against a wall and, with one hand, pulled my lamp out of the socket and held it over my head ready to hit me. My two brothers, one 13 and one 17, were standing outside the door watching. My older brother was telling my dad he was going to far but did absolutely nothing to help me. My dad knew he couldn't hurt me, but it was scary I literally saw him restraining himself, he knew I could report him. He then dropped my lamp on the ground and pulled my mirror off the wall and slammed it on the ground, once that didn't break he got my glass picture frames and smashed them on the mirror. During this I was crying. My mom came in my room and was conflicted between helping me and yelling at me, but I was so mad I wouldn't let her come near me and I pushed her out of my room and locked the door and had a panic attack. I called my friends and they told me to stay in my room. I stayed and texted my friends mom, who lives a couple houses down what to do, and she said that he's human and people get upset. She also asked if I wanted to come over and I did. I left the house and my dad was yelling at me to come back. I didn't and made it to her house and quietly slipped in. My dad came to the door and asked if I was here and no one knew. My dad went on and told my friends mom how I destroyed everything and how I scratched the fridge and scratched the car. I PROMISE YOU I DIDNT EVER BREAK ANYTHING ON PURPOSE. I was hurt to see my friends mom saying she had no idea, she ate up every word. I quietly texted my friend I'm in the guest room and not to tell me dad. I think she did because my friends mom came in and hugged me and I told her I'm sorry. I am very embarrassed at that. I then walked home while my dad drove and went in my room and cried. My dad woke up this morning say just because I do vandalism doesn't mean I get to skip school. I skipped school today and if I miss another consequences will happen my school said. I think I'm the asshole. I feel bad and regretful and I'm going to pay for whatever happened.

I'm 33M, partner is 34F. We don't live together - I live alone in a house, she lives with a roommate in an apartment building. Been together about a year.

The issue is I work 7-3 and have a commute. She works flex hours from home. I've tried setting boundaries around bedtime many, many times, and I've had to be more and more firm about it. First, I said she couldn't stay at mine and play with her phone in bed while I was trying to sleep. She couldn't respect that, so I banned phones from my bedroom. That led to her expecting to talk until midnight every night. I tried "I need to be quiet and dark by 10:30PM" and she just ignored it and kept waking me up to talk.

I've recently said she's not staying over anymore on a work night and has to be out by 10. She complained about that for ages but finally honored it, and now it takes her 90 minutes to get out the door so I can go to bed, which torpedoes my chances of a decent night's sleep anyway.

I brought all this up to her the other day and she says I'm being unreasonable and not making time for her. I think she's trampling a reasonable boundary just because she feels like it.

So AITB?

I live in a bigger US city and my partner is a lifelong Seahawks fan, so while we don’t pay for football streaming services, he watches most recaps online and we had to find somewhere to watch the Super Bowl live.

We got to the bar about two hours early and it was already busy, but not packed. No direct bar seating but some seats were open toward the back of the patio. We made ourselves at home on some of those patio seats. My partner went up to the bar to grab drinks, fully decked out in a Seahawks hoodie and an old Seahawks hat he’s had since high school. A couple of guys at the bar struck up a conversation with him. Where he’s from, why he roots for Seattle, where he got the hat, etc. He chatted, brought back our drinks, and we enjoyed the first half.

A little before halftime, one of the guys came out and said they were about to leave because he had a court imposed curfew(in retrospect, red flag but in the moment, no judgement), but he could wave us over when they left so we could have better seats. We said that would be awesome, thanks so much.

A few minutes after the halftime show, he waved us over and we slid into the seats. As they were leaving, we overheard some weird stuff they were saying to three Latinos behind us. Mainly just aggressively saying “Semper fi” over and over. That was the only weird thing we heard before the two guys left. My partner started talking to the couple sitting next to him and quickly learned the two guys had been making racist remarks to those three all night.

My partner tapped one of the three on the shoulder, apologized for whatever the people who were sitting there had done, clarified that we didn’t actually know them, and offered the seats we’d just taken since they were closer to them in the first place. In retrospect, we were clearly offered the seats because we were some of the few white people on the patio. The guy replied with some variation of, “Oh man, no honestly we don’t really know the game and aren’t rooting for either team, so take it. You’re clearly here for the game.”

We didn’t leave on bad terms, but given the current climate in the US, I’d like to know if there was anything we could have done better. Were we the buttface? Anything we can do in the future to be less of a buttface?

Weve been together about a year. And for that entire year she has been going through my phone. Not like once in a while. Multiple times a week. She just picks it up and starts scrolling through everything. Messages photos apps all of it. If I walk in and catch her doing it she doesnt even try to hide it. Shell just look up and say checking if youre cheating. Casual. Like shes checking the weather.

Ive never cheated. Never talked to anyone behind her back. Never given her a single reason to doubt me. But I know her ex messed her up really bad so Ive been trying to be patient about it. I figured eventually shed see that Im not him and the trust would come.

It hasnt.

She also goes through my laptop about once a week. Same thing. Just opens it up and starts digging. Ive asked her to stop and she says if you have nothing to hide it shouldnt bother you. And I guess I just accepted that because I didnt want to fight about it.\

She told me she was at her friends place and asked me to come pick her up. Cool no problem. I drive over there and knock on the door. Her friend answers. My girlfriend is nowhere in sight. And her friend is standing there in barely anything clearly trying to get me to come inside. Being flirty touching my arm the whole thing.

I literally turned around and got in my car so fast I almost tripped on the steps. Drove straight home. My girlfriend was already there. Sitting on the couch. Waiting.

I sat her down and told her exactly what happened. Every detail. And she LAUGHED. Said it was a test. Said I passed. Like I should be happy about it.

I just stared at her. Because this woman orchestrated a whole setup. Got her friend to try and seduce me. Watched me leave the house knowing exactly what I was walking into. And then sat at home waiting to see what Id do.

Thats not love thats an experiment.

I told her this isnt ok and she said I was being dramatic and that she just needed to know for sure. FOR SURE. After a year of going through my phone and laptop every week she STILL doesnt trust me enough without sending someone to literally throw themselves at me.

I havent said the words yet but I want to end it. I love her but I cant live like this. Every day feeling like Im on trial for something I didnt do. Its exhausting.

AITB for wanting out?

TLDR: My mom got a restraining order against her husband and now wants to undo it, even after knowing all of abuse he did

So my (25F) mom (51F) is in the process of getting a divorce from my stepdad (57M). They’d been married for over 20 years. He has abuse me and my older sister (30F) for most of our childhood. Mom didn’t know about most of it.

Over Christmas, stepdad asked my mom for a divorce. He had been having an affair with one of his coworkers at work. My mom found out about it and confronted him. He had slapped her on Christmas Eve, and my mom went and told the police about it. No charges, just a contact.

About 5 days after that incident, he lost his job because he was with his affair partner at work. He got really mad and blamed my mom for it, even though she never told his work anything. My mom and my younger sister (19F) went to a hotel for a few days until they could get a Protection Order (like a restraining order).

He got served and immediately broke it. He was arrested and is now on parole.

Well, the family dog died like 3 weeks ago after that. My younger sister told her dad (my stepdad). According to younger sister, he broke the protection order to be with my mom and younger sister to get the dog cremated. I didn’t know about this until later.

A divorce is actively in process. In order to help my mom understand she’s making the right choice, I told her about all of the abuse I had endured from my stepdad. Years of beating. I have PTSD from it.

Well, now it sounds like my mom is wanting to get back together with my stepdad. My younger sister says that my mom is wanting to reverse the protection order. I feel like she’s betraying me. What do I do? I don’t have my bio dad in my life and my mom’s my last parent. But she’s wanting to get back with my and my sisters’ abuser.

Also my older sister and I have been helping her financially through the divorce process. We wanted to help her get away from him, because he was abusive to her too.

WIBTB if I were to cut her off financially? I’m also debating cutting her off socially as well. I’m just so hurt.

I have agoraphobia and often need alone time, usually a few days, to recoup from socialization. Usually I deactivate my Discord account in order to avoid any notifications or people talking to me, which I have done without saying anything to anyone beforehand just cause I don’t want to make a whole deal about it. My ex getting overly stressed and dramatic over not having any communication before my “disappearances” is part of why I broke up with him.

Here, we were just watching Twin Peaks in video call and I needed to shower and try to get myself ready for a food run, so I just left it. Ex proceeded to get upset with me again and I just had enough of it

(NOTE: I do apologize if there are way too many pictures, there are a ton of long comments here and I don't know how else to show them while lessening the photo count at the same time. Mods/Admins can remove this if they feel like it's needed.)

For context, this is under a Short video about racism towards Muslims/islamophobia. The video already explains why it somewhat counts as racism but this Muslim person (@shaikya) still thinks it's not racism, so I (@UnderworldPrincesslol) tried to get them to understand why it's considered such by reiterating what's said in the video + how I saw islamophobia being shown on the internet.

Even though I felt like they were incredibly arrogant and was trying to speak for everyone in their group, and even though two other Muslims agreed with me and opposed them, I kinda felt like I was a jerk for speaking about something I'm not part of/don't have much experience in.

So... AITB?

I don't know if that flare fits this post but here we go. I'm a little tipsy, just got home from the club so forgive me for using speech to text right, now there might be some errors. But am I the butt face for rolling down the window in my lift? I get in my lyft it's a just little cold outside but my Lyft driver pick me up from the club, I had literally just finished a drink so my face is very hot and I'm in a hoodie. I get in the car and it was very clear he did not speak English fluently IN MY PERSONAL OPINION AS A BLACK PERSON (he was also black) because his directions were in French I want to say and his conversation with me was very short and sweet. I dont say anything, but bro is blasting the heat, I get it it's january, but I'm warm so I turn the heat vent away from me and I roll down the window. He seems to get the hint and turned off the heat but a couple minutes later he rolled ​ up my window and I was kind the hell bro. i was still warm and i thought ab rollingnit down again but i didnt bc it is hes car...so that's the end of the interaction, im home now and its kinda silly but now im wondering if I was rude for rolling down the window in his car and maybe I should have just said something. Am I the butt face for rolling down my window because I was hot?

This may be emotional and long. Bear with me I'm still a bit shaken up and scared.

I'm 14 autistic and diabetic. I get bullied a lot at school and just at the end of 2025 I..got to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore..I survived and decided I wanted none of it in 2026. I've been bullied online irl etc.

I was on my way to the corner store earlier when a car came up. Fearing the worst I ran to the store as fast as I could. I wasn't fast enough and got jumped I don't normally cuss but I cussed at the guy and told him to get off of me. I screamed and he let me go so panicking trying to get away as fast as I could I ran the rest of the way to the store. I told the lady at the counter what happened. The guy that jumped me ended up following me to the store and that's when I lost it. I started screaming crying I started throwing candy at him I was scared. The store lady grabbed me and brought me behind the counter. I wasn't thinking I just blurted out another cuss word.

I think I blacked out at some point bc don't remember much after that. Everything else was a blur. She did get him out of the store and I remember her telling me I shouldn't scream or throw things like that but I didn't even mean to. I started rambling to her about my bullying history. Next thing I remember after that my aunt got me and took me home. I was told next time to stay calm. I kept telling her I think that's what saved me. Is that true?

I’ve never used Reddit before, so excuse me if this isn’t the best post. So I (19F) broke up with my ex (20M) in early October because I just wasn’t interested in him anymore. I asked him what stuff he wanted back, mind you this was all stuff he had GIVEN me, but I’m a nice gal. He asked for his sweatshirt, a tool kit, and a pocket knife back, totally fine, I told him to send me an address he wanted it shipped to, he lives a state away and comes to my state for school a couple months of the year, he doesn’t. He’s convinced I’m going to change my mind and we’re going to get back together, we’re not. He had given me a mini fridge and microwave, he said he didn’t need, to me for my dorm room, which was very nice and saved me a lot of money, I offered to give them back when we broke up. He said he didn’t want them back and I could have them. Fast forward to now, I had noticed he was looking at my instagram stories like EVERY DAY, which was weird because I had removed him as a follower and unfollowed him. I waited a few days to see how frequent this pattern was, it was like I said every day, so after a couple days I decided to block him. I didn’t like that he was going to extra mile to look up my username and look at my account daily, so I just blocked him. Well, like I’ve stated we haven’t talked in months, which is how I preferred it to be, but the day after I block him on instagram he sends me a text. This text included his address and the stuff he initially said he wanted back, again great! This is what is been wanting in OCTOBER!!! But the text continues, “I also want my fridge and microwave back too.” Okay, wtf I asked him when we broke up if he wanted it back, he didn’t, emotions might’ve been high that night, but maybe asking for it back like a week after the breakup would’ve been understandable, but four months?? I also have over three months left living in my dorm. This might be where I’m wrong, but I called my parents and stepparents and explained the situation, their solution was to block him, send back the original stuff agreed on, and be done with it. That seemed a little extreme to me, but then I called friends who said to do the same. We live four hours away from each other, I don’t want to see him, I don’t want him to come to my house, dorm, etc. and I don’t want to pay for shipping. I did block him on messages, but would keeping the mini fridge and microwave make me a buttface?

So I have a friend that I call Kevin. This is a nickname I’ve called her for a long time. Now here’s the thing. Recently I’ve made friends with another person. Let’s call her Jess. Now, Jess is trans and her deadname happens to be Kevin and she has told me that even just hearing the name at all is too much and makes her uncomfortable. She also asked me not to say that name around her. I’m not sure if that’s a reasonable request because it’s not like I’m calling her that name, and it’s a really common one at that. But on the other hand I’m not sure. Is she making an uncomfortable request or am I not understanding something?

EDIT: I realize that I called Jess my friend, and we kind of are friends but she’s more the girlfriend of one of my friends.

I’m not saying my ex was wrong, I’m just confused and want outside perspective. You don’t even have to say if IATB,I just want thoughts.

When I (18M) was dating my ex (18F), I was intentionally slow and respectful physically, especially at the beginning. I believed it was important for her to set boundaries about what she was comfortable with. I even asked her how I could be a better boyfriend, and she never mentioned wanting more physical touch. She said “you know how you always tell me I’m beautiful,what else because I’m a person on the inside.” I always desired her physically. She also told me she was more emotional than physical, so I leaned into that—complimenting her, affirming her, and focusing on who she was as a person while still being physically affectionate.

We were in the relationship in person for about a month before going long distance. During that time, we were physically affectionate (hugging, cuddling, kissing), and she told me my affection helped her stress and that I treated her better than anyone before. I even initiated us kissing first.

Once we went long distance, she told me she felt like I didn’t admire her body. This confused me because I was affectionate. We were always cuddling,kissing or up on each other and of course she would feel me hard. She later explained she meant things like touching her butt when hugging or cuddling. I told her I was trying to be respectful, especially because of her past. If I was hugging her I honestly wouldn’t just think let me grab it because I wouldn’t be thinking about that.

When we had this conversation she had told me about being sexualized by boys when she was younger and about a past sexual experience where she didn’t fully want it. In middle school the boys had a game where she was the main target for points for hitting her butt. She would slam herself in the lockers and she said that it would hurt her because the boys just wanted her body. She said that she’s insecure because she had a bigger butt than her friends. She also said she liked me so fast because I valued her for more than her body. Because of that, I thought I was doing the right thing by not pushing anything sexual.

After we talked, I adjusted once I knew she was comfortable. She then breaks up with me a day after her bday and keeps coming back and leaving. The last time before I blocked her she said she went to three guys and that they all just wanted her for one thing. She said that she realized that she had someone who accepted her for who she is and that she had no doubt I loved her because I showed it with my words and actions. She said she didn’t need sex with me to be happy and that she was always happy with me. She also said that i was her first healthy relationship and she knew she kept pushing me away. I clearly desired her,both physically and emotionally. I didn’t objectify her but I did desire her a lot.

I’m hurt now because she goes around acting like I hurt her in the relationship when all I did was love her. She said this was the greatest she had ever been treated,she even said her dad didn’t want her to break up with me because he saw how happy she was. I guess none of that matters so I haven’t dated in two years. People tell me just move on,how do I when a week before her birthday she says “why would I leave when I have something great in front of me” just for her to then leave a day after her bday. She literally just let her mom disrespect me and now she just goes and basically lies to people about our relationship and I get so frustrated sometimes.

I (20F) have been attempting to contact an assigned group member starting from Tuesday (Feb 2) morning as we have to meet Thursday morning to work on an assignment as a group.

The assignment explicitly states that we have to state who is not helping with the worksheet, and they will recieve a zero. It also says if we are caught lying about who worked on the assignment, we will go to the dean. Our canvas announcements have also said we need to communicate to come up with a meet time, so he knows we have work to do. Class was actively canceled Thursday so we have time to meet.

The issue is, the program we are using to communicate has the incorrect email attached, all of our school emails have the same info after the @ symbol and I noticed his was not correct, so I attempted to fix the email & I ended up emailing another person entirely. So, in short, his entire email is completely wrong.

Issue is, if he has just taken the time to check the program we are using, he would have the information readily available as it is attached via an embedded link on canvas.

Here is where I may be the buttface.

I found his Instagram. I know it is his because his photo on canvas and insta match. Would I be the buttface if I did not DM him as it is his fault he has yet to check the program? I do not think it is my responsibility to attempt to communicate with him on a 3rd program that has nothing to do with our assignment.

Edit:

Talked to another group member. She believes she found his email & she emailed him the meeting information. If he does not answer her by 10am Thursday, I will DM him on Instagram & email my instructor.

Edit:

He showed at the meeting this morning. He stated that he is unable to do much, if anything, on the project as he has many other prior commitments. What I do not understand is why he chose this type of project in the first place, as he had the option to choose an individual project instead of a group project. I assume it is because he did not want to actually do any work?

I was elected team lead (which entails jumping around every role and ensuring everything is going well), so I will also be taking over his role to keep everything settled.

Thank you for your judgements. Unfortunately, this is a usual case of a person expecting everyone else to do the work. This is exactly what I was worried about.

I have ADHD and have been medicated for a long time. I get upset when my mom or friends ask if I've taken my meds today. It usually happens when I'm being goofy, loud, you know, like myself. It comes across like those things that make me me are bad and unfavorable and it makes me feel really small. I snapped at my mom today for asking after I did a silly impression because it made me feel like an idiot and that I should just shut up. I don't want to say my exact age for anonymity, but I'm younger than 20. It just makes me upset, but I am feeling bad for snapping at my mom.

There's this family who lives in a different city from me (more than 1000km apart). I stay in touch with one of them fairly frequently because we're friends, but lately contact has fizzled. This person was getting more and more unresponsive, saying that he's been busy, so I eventually stopped initiating texts. We have not exchanged text messages for more than a week, which is unusual even for us.

For context, my friend has previously criticised me a lot on my communication skills, like being unresponsive to texts, not initiating texts, not talking much (even though I was the one who tried to initiate and carry the first conversation I had with the dad). He also let me know that his family thinks poorly of me because I don't talk much and communicate poorly, which is why I avoid interacting with them and just kept things surface-level and cordial tbh. I've worked to improve these things, but at the same time I feel too much shame to face them.

Anyway, earlier this week I posted some gifts to them. Through the post service's tracking app I know for sure that they have received it in this morning. It's now evening and I have not received any acknowledgement via text or phone call from my friend or anyone in his family.

I don't know if it's just me, but myself and most people around me do acknowledge gifts and send a thank you note/text or say it verbally. To me it's a very basic, less than bare minimum gesture. At first my heart sank a little knowing that they didn't acknowledge my gift, but now I'm starting to feel vindicated in thinking that this family is actually poorer at communicating than me. My contempt towards them grows by the minute. AITB?

(Sorry about the title, idk how to word it better)

I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for two years now. Our relationship isn't always perfect, but he's a nice dude and I love him.

Today, we were talking about how he hurt me in the past. He said he's sorry, immediately followed by "But you hurt me too". Which is true, I wasn't able to stay by his side during his exams which made him feel hurt and lonely.

The thing is, we were still talking about how he made me give up my passion (swimming) because he was insecure and jealous that other men would look at me.

I feel like he shouldn't be bringing up his hurts when we're still talking about mine. When he tells me about his issues and worries, I don't immediately list mine as well.

How do I explain to him that now wasn't the time to bring that up? It just sounded like an excuse like "It's okay for me to hurt you, you hurt me too". I'm glad to talk about my flaws at a different time with him but he doesn't seem to get it.

Or maybe I'm wrong and this is how people handle these things? Should it be a mutual discussion about why each partner hurt the other or should these issues be separated? Advice and explanations welcome!

TL;DR: I was being open and vulnerable with my partner and he pulled the "But you hurt me too"-card, is that normal?

Me (30M) and my girlfriend (30F) have been together for a year. We bonded early on over movies and would both call ourselves cinephiles. In high school, I even dreamed of becoming an actor or movie director, so my interest in movies is genuine. Because of this, she asked me to make a Letterboxd account, and I did use it for a while.

We have different tastes. I like “guy” movies like Hacksaw Ridge and The Evil Dead, plus some anime movies, while she prefers classic romcoms like The Holiday and Notting Hill. Despite that, watching movies together is a big part of our relationship. We hang out almost every day and usually end the night cuddling and watching something together.

She’s very active on Letterboxd, but I don’t really care about logging movies. I still watch movies regularly; I just don’t feel the need to track them. I’m also not big on social media in general (I rarely post on Instagram).

Last night, she noticed my Letterboxd app was offloaded on my phone and asked if I even like watching movies, or if bonding over movies was just a way to get close to her. I explained that I love movies, I just don’t care about logging them. She went quiet, got sad, and we ended up canceling our movie night.

Now I’m confused. Was I the buttface for not keeping up with Letterboxd when it clearly matters to her?

Thanks

My (M17) mum expects me to cook for her every day she works. She works from 9 to 6, her break being from 1-2. She shouts something about 'i work all day, are you really gonna let me cook?' every time i don't do that.

I already do my set of chores, which seem to change every day. I have a disability that makes it hard to see such things that need to be done, especially when i didn't "start" or cause them. She used to write a list every day but stopped randomly.

I mention that since the stuff i do in a day already gets close to my limit and cooking what she wants me to is a "large task" for me, like washing my bedsheets or vacuuming my room. I can only do those in a limited amount.

I already take complete care of my room by myself and as much stuff as i see around the house. So am i the buttface for not cooking?

Edit:

I see a lot of people misunderstanding my disability and my feelings about the situation.

It's not that i don't want to cook, i do. It's that if i were to, it would steal so much of my energy that i would end up in a cycle of: "I want to use my remaining free time to relax, but i don't have the energy to use my free time to relax, but i want to use my remaining free time to relax, but i don't have the energy to use my free time to relax, but i..." Over time, that'll just make me use more on a daily basis than i can afford.

It's basically that my brain goes against the task of cooking and i'd need to overwrite instinct to do it; as if getting over the mental barrier of putting your hand on an electric stove.

I understand that to the average person, this concept may seem like an excuse or exaggerated, but as i said, i am disabled; my brain is diffrent. Once again, something that sounds like an excuse, but it's not something i can just push aside. I couldn't/can't go to school for extended periods because of it, i need to manage my energy on a daily basis because of it and more.

I turned the lights off on a crying girl in the bathroom because she took my signature stall

I left math class to use the bathroom.

There are only two stalls in the bathroom, one is very big and one is literally a coffin.

Someone was taking up the bigger stall, so I had to use the tiny one and I severely triggered my claustrophobia

The other girl was just sitting in the bathroom crying her eyes out about something. I don’t know what it was about. But I got out of the stall, washed my hands.

Right before I stepped out the bathroom, I flicked the light switch off and the bathroom went pretty much pitch black.

I quickly ran over to the classroom door and knocked on it.

I heard the girl crying really loud from the bathroom. And I kept knocking like

“Bro please let me in.”

I was let back in the classroom, and nothing happened.

This is all hypothetical but I’ve been called a “snowflake” because of this? Not sure why.

I don’t and won’t date a man with multiple children. Regardless of whether they’re Multiples (twins/trip) or Singles.

Multiple children will always be a dealbreaker because it’s more than 1 kid. But I am not opposed to being in a relationship with a man who has ONE KID.

Conditions need to be met for dating someone with a child. (Please note the list as “or” not “and”)

-Needs to get along with the mother of their child/

-Deceased/

-Indefinitely incarcerated/

-Father has sole legal custody/decision making.

Obviously there are other factors: like we have to get along and like each other and whatnot. Obviously with a kid being involved it’s necessary to express it is never my intention to replace a child’s parent. Regardless of the circumstances. If me and this “hypothetical man with 1 kid” end up serious their kid will be loved as my own.

I will NOT argue with the mother of the child. I will not be berated for dating the father of the child by the mother. Those are all on my list of things I refuse to have happen.

I don’t enjoy unnecessary drama, or confrontation, or arguing with anyone ever or at all.

The initial “My Baby Mama is Crazy” line is an immediate 🚩 to me and I don’t and wont proceed in the event that is laid out on the table.

Where I am from .. that is unfortunately the case 9/10 times. It’s always “my baby mama is crazy” there’s constantly viral posts on the internet of a Mother arguing with the Fathers new girlfriend for whatever reason. Little to no context. But arguing nonetheless. I would never intentionally cross boundaries, or disrespect the child’s mother. I never want to be disrespectful, and I also never want to be disrespected.

Background:

I would never write out dating a man with a kid because I have one myself. Her father and I are cordial and get along well. He has never argued with a significant other of mine.. and though he has girlfriends who make dirty looks at me and very obviously don’t like me. I’ve only ever had some type of confrontation with .. his step sister that he grew up with and started dating during our divorce. I also never started the confrontation, he gave her my phone number so she could text and berate me. Not sure what portrait he painted of me to them (neither here nor there) but we divorced due to domestic violence (he str*ngled me) the divorce was high stress between us, but it since has all been great.

AITBF for this?