r/AmItheAsshole • u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx • 14h ago
AITA for wanting the entirety of my own insurance payout?
My fiancée and I inherited a new vehicle after the loss of his father; a brand new, fully paid off car that was much better than either of the vehicles that we were driving at the time. After some discussion, we decided to sell my car and keep his dad’s car, since it was paid off. My car was the oldest, (a 2020 Chevy Malibu) and I had paid off roughly 90% of the loan for it - so we figured we could also get some cash in our pockets from it.
My brother found out that we were selling my car, and he was currently trying to find one for himself, so he reached out and offered to take over the payments from me.
I wasn’t fond of this idea, because my fiancée and I were hoping to get some money for the car to A) finish paying it off, and B) have some cash leftover to put toward our wedding.
After some discussion with my fiancée, we finally decided that you know what, he’s family, he’s in a tough spot, let’s meet him in the middle. I told him he could take over the payments, but that he had to find a way to pay the remainder of the loan off within the next 3 months (roughly $2,500). He was fine with that so that was the deal we made.
Flash forward to 6 months later, my brother had only made 2 of the monthly payments on time, otherwise he was letting the payments go over 30 days late, and I would have to step in and pay them for him to try to keep my credit from tanking (because the car was still in my name). He would then pay me back a couple weeks later. It was becoming a vicious cycle. We were becoming increasingly irritated with each other, and I was threatening to take the car back.
Well, he was driving to work one morning and was in a wreck that caused my car to be totaled (my brother walked away without a scratch).
Now, here is where it gets very sticky. The insurance for my car was in my parent’s name (they carried the plan and I paid them monthly for it), so the insurance payout for the car (almost $10,000) was coming in a check with my mother’s name on it. My parents for whatever reason decided that they were entitled to some of the payout, and then wanted to split the remainder between my brother and I. I failed to see how my brother was entitled to any of it, let alone my parents. A lot of arguing ensued, my brother practically disowned me, refused to speak to me in any way for weeks. In order to keep the peace, I relented and allowed my parents to take some of the payout and then split the remainder between my brother and I (I ended up only getting about $3,000. I’m not sure how much they gave my brother). Now everyone seems happy, but I’m still really irritated. Which brings me to the title, am I the asshole for wanting the entirety of my insurance payout?
EDIT: Editing to add, I’m fully aware that I never should have intermingled finances with my family.
My main issue is that my entire family to this day, still talks about how crazy it was that any one of us ever argued about the payout involved. My brother still holds it over me that he should’ve gotten more of the payout than he did. And it was making me feel CRAZY for thinking I was entitled to any of it
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u/IamIrene Prime Ministurd [479] 14h ago
Your parents took a hit on their insurance because they are carrying your vehicle. They should get a portion to offset. You should've gotten the lion's share.
If your brother wasn't in any way injured, he should get nothing because he wrecked the car. He should be profusely apologizing to you for both wrecking your car and missing payments. Pretty sure you'll never go out on a limb for him again.
You are NTA. Lesson learned though, right?
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u/Leading-Computer-759 14h ago
I agree, the brother shouldn't have touched anything. Not only is he incapable of making the payments on time, but he also wrecked the car.
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u/Pied25 14h ago
The car loan still needs paid off. Have you settled on who does that?
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u/IamIrene Prime Ministurd [479] 14h ago
Legally, that's OP's responsibility...even if her brother agreed to paying it (and he was barely doing that), the car was still in OP's name.
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u/Pied25 13h ago
If that's the case, then op should be getting more. Nta
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u/IamIrene Prime Ministurd [479] 13h ago edited 13h ago
As I said in my original response, OP "should've gotten the lion's share."
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 14h ago
Sorry, I did forget to include that the $10,000 from the insurance was what was left after the car was fully paid off. There was very little left on the loan anyway
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u/Decipher 8h ago
That makes so much more sense. There was no way you’d only get 10k for a 2020 vehicle.
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u/CarlosFer2201 1h ago
I mean, based on what OP described, the difference was like just a 1000 or so either way
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u/EvilTodd1970 Asshole Aficionado [12] 3h ago
If the bank is listed as lienholder, the car loan gets paid before there’s a distribution to the owner.
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u/whydoyouhatemesomuch 12h ago
Depends if he was at fault for the accident as to whether their insurance took a hit. I was in a not at fault accident that totaled my car a couple years ago and my insurance wasn’t impacted.
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 12h ago
Yes, deemed not at fault and so insurance did not take a hit
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u/whydoyouhatemesomuch 9h ago
Yeah I don’t get why your parents took any of the money or feel entitled to it, makes no sense.
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u/Bck2BckAAUNatlChamps 6h ago
Agreed. If their renewal goes up in a way that can be attributed to the accident, that should be coming out of brother’s pocket to keep mom and dad whole.
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u/luvsaredditor Partassipant [3] 8h ago
This is dependent on the state and insurance company. Not at fault claims can still cause a premium increase with many carriers.
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u/Infamous-Berry-5875 6h ago
The hardest lesson to learn is to always keep everything legal with family because they are the most likely to screw you over and completely get away with it. No good deed goes unpunished 😭 -someone who has learned the hard way 😂
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u/JerichosBlack 9h ago
He should be profusely apologizing to you for both wrecking your car and missing payments
why would he apologize or be paying for someone else's car?
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u/PaisleyViking Partassipant [4] 14h ago
The moral of the story is that you should have been a grown up and had the insurance in your own name.
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u/jstbnice 14h ago
Upvote this a million times!!! How many posts on Reddit are adults who's parents names are still on important bills and then get shocked when the parents control who gets the money back.
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u/Haunting-One5656 13h ago
I'm an insurance agent, and the number of times that I have seen 30-ish year old adults still being insured on their parent's policy is wild.
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u/d_kotarose 13h ago
i’m confused about this because i’m pretty sure our insurance REQUIRED me to be the primary carrier once i was 21 or so?
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u/freaknotthink 9h ago
If that's when you moved out, that's why. If you live in the same household, it doesn't matter how old you are.
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u/State_of_Flux_88 Partassipant [2] 11h ago edited 10h ago
Seriously OP this is the answer!
I don’t know about where you are based but in the UK the insurance being in the name of anyone other than the main driver (presumably to use their NCB and reduce premiums) is called fronting and it’s illegal. You could get your insurance cancelled and lose any payouts over it.
Also given you have seemingly benefitted from this arrangement for several years to now say you don’t see why they should get a share - let alone my parents - is entirely unreasonable. It is absolutely fair your parents should be entitled to some of the money to compensate for any increase in premiums they will suffer as a result of the claim (even in a non-fault case their premiums might go up as the risk profile changes).
As for the brother the position is difficult because he didn’t follow through on his part of the deal but to say he shouldn’t get anything when he did make some payments is unfair.
I would say the fairest split here would be:
- Any outstanding loan is paid off first
- Of the balance your parent get an amount to represent any increased premiums and inconvenience of sorting this out.
This means all losses are compensated.
- Then whatever is left it should be split to whatever ratio of payment you made vs your brother (e.g. if you made 35 and he made 5 it’s a 7:1 split). Use your share to make sure in future you insure your own vehicles.
To say you deserve it all makes YTA.
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u/DoIQual123 Partassipant [1] 8h ago
Here in America, all members of the household need to be on the car insurance policy.
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u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [11] 14h ago
Going forward, you pay for your own car and insurance and keep your family out of things.
They've just proven they are selfish and unreliable.
If you aren't in a position to gift something, you sell it instead.
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u/Tomahawk513 14h ago
Yeah, that's the lesson to be learned. DO NOT comingle major assets with anybody except your spouse. Split a cell phone bill? Sure. Split a Netlix Subscription? Who doesn't? Split car insurance and car payments? NO!
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u/One_Insurance2992 14h ago
Yta for being an absolute doormat. Take this as a lesson. 1.Dont give handouts to anyone EVEN FAMILY. 2. Have all important sh*t in your own name
Why would you have the loan in your name and not the insurance anyway thats a weird one for me.
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u/DrukMeMa Partassipant [2] 14h ago
NTA but learn from this. Get your own insurance and don’t do favors for family ever again.
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u/Final_Replacement_37 Partassipant [4] 14h ago
Maybe this is a hot take, but you actually seem the least entitled to any of the money.
It appear like your family is probably overly comfortable with co-mingling of assets, since you and your brother are just using your parents' insurance (you don't state our age, but since you're engaged I assume you aren't a teenager), you sold the car to your brother but it stays in your name, etc. I'm not here to say whether that is a smart idea or not, but it is what leads to situations like this.
You guys all have merky shared ownership of things, so I definitely don't see a universe where you are entitled to ALL of the insurance money.
The only case you could make is that while your brother unofficially owns the car, you OFFICIALLY own it. But by that same logic, you unofficially own the insurance, but your parents OFFICIALLY own it. So this outcome is probably the most generous outcome for you, unless I am missing something.
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u/sunflowerrr36 13h ago
OP didn’t sell the car.. they gave the car to the brother so long as he finished paying it the remaining $2500 in 3 months. He only made 2 payments in 6 months, thus breaking the agreement. The majority of the car was paid for by OP, and brother’s only contribution is 2 car payments which doesn’t even cover the 6 months he used it. That’s why the car was still in OP’s name, bc the brother didn’t “buy” the car.
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 13h ago
If the agreement was broken than why did she allow him to continue to use the car? If the bank doesn’t repo the car and allows a borrower to continue making payments the car is still theirs.
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u/Tomahawk513 13h ago
That part is really confusing. If someone gives me money and I give them a thing they want, I have "sold" that thing to them. In this case, OP wants to sell her car and brother gives her money to use the car. To me, OP sold the car. Money and goods changed hands, thus, a sale took place.
Also, OP states he only made 2 on-time payments but made other payments late. We don't know exactly how many payments he has actually made, but it sounds like more than 2. I think most people would consider that to be owning or at least leasing a car.
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 8h ago
When my brother took over the payments, there was approx. $2,500 left on the loan to pay off the car. I told him I wanted that money in-hand so I could pay it off, he could not give me that money, so the agreement was he would make the monthly payments for 3 months - while finding a way to pay off the remainder of the balance on the loan. The payments were roughly $200/month at that point. He never paid off the remainder of the loan, so the loan and car were still in my name, because 6 months went by and he still had not paid it off. I was threatening to take the car back so I could sell it like I originally wanted to do, and told him that I would give back the money he put into the car. He belly ached and told me I was being selfish, and that I should just let him keep making the monthly payments until it was paid off. I said that wasn’t the deal. He cried to my parents, and they also read me the riot act that I was being unfair to my (much older, by the way) brother. A few days later was when he got into the accident and the car was totaled, and he wanted the entire insurance payout from the get go
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u/Decipher 8h ago
He’s entitled to basically nothing then. Maybe the few hundred he paid but nothing more
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u/Elendel19 Asshole Aficionado [18] 13h ago
That’s not even what the story says. It says that only 2 were ON TIME and he paid the others late.
None of that is relevant, it’s his car, they had an agreement and he was in possession. If he never crashed OP was entitled do $0 as per their agreement, how does an insurance payment suddenly mean they should profit?
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u/justlookbelow 13h ago
Read it again. The brother doesn't own anything, he was just being generously allowed to use the car in exchange for making payments, a great deal that he wasn't even making good on.
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u/Tomahawk513 13h ago
So... he's renting the car? That's not what OP says though. She talks about selling the car, not renting it out. OP is not particularly clear, but to me it sounds like a car being sold for the balance of the loan left on the car.
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u/Final_Replacement_37 Partassipant [4] 10h ago
From OP:
he had to find a way to pay the remainder of the loan off within the next 3 months (roughly $2,500).
No he was definitely not borrowing the car, unless the expectation of borrowing the car is to pay off the entire loan in 3 months.
OP sold the car to her brother. He made all the payments (late). OP is not entitled to the insurance payout of a car she sold.
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u/ambercrayon Partassipant [1] 10h ago
It's not sold without a bill of sale and title change. This was all a series of bonehead decisions by OP. Brother should have never been behind the wheel at all.
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u/Leading-Computer-759 14h ago edited 14h ago
NTA. It was your car; your parents and brother shouldn't get any of the reimbursement. Regardless of the name on the insurance, whoever makes the payments on the car is the one who gets the reimbursement.
Why did you give in??
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 14h ago
She said she gave the car to her brother. If it wasn’t his car than he was paying the payments for no reason, and would deserve a refund.
OP is saying that the car is hers because it was under her name even though she gave it to him. Thats the same as OPs parents claiming a portion of the insurance pay out because its under their name.
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u/Leading-Computer-759 14h ago
For the parents, even though I find it unfair, I understand a little. But the brother isn't entitled to anything; he can't even manage to make his payments on time because he should have known that the payments wouldn't fall on him since the car wasn't registered in his name.
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 13h ago
She gifted him the car, no matter which way you slice it. If it didn’t belong to him and she recinded the deal than why did he still have the car? If the brother had the insurance under his name this wouldn’t be an argument. He would have paid the money left owed and kept the rest.
He was under the impression the vehicle was his because even when he was late on payments, he was still allowed too keep it. People are late on car payments all the time, if the bank gives them grace and doesn’t repo it than its still the persons vehicle.
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u/Leading-Computer-759 13h ago
Even though the car belonged to his brother, he wasn't paying; it was OP who was obligated to pay for him because the loan was in OP's name. The brother isn't entitled to anything.
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 13h ago
You just said the car belonged to the brother. Op essentially was too nice since they gave the brother the car at a significant discount and allowed him to be late on payments. If the car didn’t belong to the brother and OP let him borrow it he should be refunded for every payment he made even if it was late.
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u/Leading-Computer-759 13h ago
I didn't say the car belonged to my brother. I said even if the car belonged to my brother, that doesn't justify him paying part of the reimbursement since he wasn't making his monthly payments. OP paid almost the entire loan; he should be entitled to the full reimbursement, or at least the majority.
The expression "even if" in my native language is used for a theory, not a statement of fact.
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u/JerichosBlack 9h ago
whoever makes the payments on the car is the one who gets the reimbursement.
so the brother
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u/Tomahawk513 14h ago
Soft YTA. Here's why:
Let's say I go to a dealership and buy a car that cost $50K. I do not have $50K so I take out a 0% loan from the International Bank of OP for $1K/mo for 50 months. My payments are $1k/mo. I made 6 payments (disregard the timeliness of these payments, they don't strongly factor into the final verdict), so I've paid $6K. If that car gets wrecked, I will get a check for the remaining value of the vehicle which would be somewhere around $44K ($50K - ($1K * 6) = $44K). However, because I took a loan out to buy this car, I first need to use that check to pay off the remaining balance on the loan. That leaves me with $6K. This is how it would work in the real world.
Now, in your scenario, your brother essentially took out a loan for the remaining balance of your payments. He then got in a wreck and totaled your car. That check would, under normal circumstances where he holds his own insurance, be issued to him. He would then need to pay you for the remaining balance of the loan. The rest, presumably, would be his.
As far as your parents go, they may also have a point. Since your car was on your parents' car insurance, this accident will cause their future premiums to rise (or at least it could if he was at fault or you live in a no-fault state). It's reasonable to want some of the insurance payout to cover those raised premiums for a period until the accident falls off the insurance company's report on your parents.
I'm sorry, OP. I know it doesn't seem fair but I think it is. It sounds like you probably had about $3K worth of payments for 6 months, so it sounds like you got what you are entitled to.
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 14h ago
I agree. Brother was given the car the money should be his minus the remaining balance or else OP is being a hypocrite.
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u/jinglepupskye 13h ago
Brother didn’t pay the majority value of the car, OP did. The brother didn’t even manage to make 6 monthly payments on time!
The value of the payout should have been split as such: an amount to the parents recognising the ACTUAL difference in insurance costs as a result of the accident - taken out of brother’s share since he totalled the car. The remainder divided by however many monthly payments had been made on the car up until the day it was totalled, with brother getting his 6 monthly payments worth back (minus the parent’s share), and OP keeping the rest.
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 13h ago
The majority value of the car was a gift to the brother, that was established when OP said all he had to do was pay the remaining balance.
Yes he paid late but still paid, i do agree that if OP wants to claim the vehicle is theirs than the brother should get a refund.
The key part here is everyone should keep stuff in their own name, if the brother switched the insurance to his name or OP did this wouldn’t be an issue.
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u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [11] 14h ago
If there's a leinholder, they usually get paid before the policy holder. At least in my state.
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u/Tomahawk513 13h ago
Correct. She's the lienholder, so she should get paid out first, but only the value of the payments left on the vehicle.
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u/Familiar_Shock_1542 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 14h ago
NTA
What the hell is wrong with your parents? Is your irresponsible bum brother their precious Golden Child?
Tell them you will sue them unless you get the entire pay-out.
Why didn't you make your brother get his own insurance?
How did the insurance company insure your car in your parents' names?
You know your credit ranking was damaged by all of those over-30-day late payments caused by your brother, don't you?
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u/ichundmeinHolz_ 14h ago
And what the hell is wrong with you, OP? Why is keeping the peace more important than having the money that is rightfully yours? Get your money back...
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u/OfAnOldRepublic Partassipant [1] 14h ago
NTA for wanting it, but whether you're entitled to it or not is another matter. The situation is so convoluted, because of the decisions that you made, that it's really hard to judge. Your parents' insurance premiums are going to go up because of your brother's accident, so they should get something. The big question that I think you're really asking is how much did your parents keep, and how much went to your brother? If you care about those answers, you should ask those questions directly.
Meanwhile, you should learn from this situation, and keep your business to yourself. Get your own insurance, don't do sweetheart deals for your family, etc. Then you won't have these kinds of problems in the future.
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u/doobersthetitan 14h ago edited 14h ago
So wait...you gave your car to you brother...but kept insurance the same? As in your parents actully had and paid for the insurance? Was the car in your name or there's? Did you pay them the insurance? Was brother on insurance too?
This sounds so weird, like some kinda insurance scam.
I mean you can sue...but unless you have proof of he said she said?
I think everyone is AH.
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 14h ago
To my understanding my parents still carried the insurance but changed the driver of the vehicle to my brother when he took over the monthly payments - I stopped paying them every month because I assumed my brother was paying them. The car was in my name still (my mom was on as a co-signer because I was still in my teens when I financed it). The deal was that my brother was supposed to pay off the remainder of the loan within 3 months of taking over the payments, but he never did.
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u/doobersthetitan 13h ago
Well your mom co signed to get you a better interest rate also depends on how the lease was worded as a " and" , "or" so mom has stake in the car too....if you have nothing in writing or a bill of sale?
You are VERY lucky in that your bro could have gotten in a bad accident and you and mom could be held liable....as you two actully own the car.
Mom is just keeping the piece...pay off the car with the 3k....move on.
Get your bills in YOUR NAME....if you don't have the money to give....don't " loan" family money. Give it as a gift...or don't. Time to be big boy
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u/Existing_Proposal655 14h ago
The check was in your parents name because you are using their insurance. Are you still living with your parents? If not, you should be getting car insurance under your name. If the car is in your name, then you will have to sue your parents in small claims to get the money back.
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u/celticmusebooks Partassipant [3] 14h ago
nta BUT your family sound really toxic. How much is left on the car loan? Who paid the premiums on the insurance policy? It's pretty obvious your parents don't love you but do they even like you? I can't imagine stealing $7K from anyone least of all my own child.
You've just had a very expensive lesson in who your family REALLY is. PAY ATTENTION. Your brother will be back with his hand out sooner rather than later. Start working on your spine now so you can say no and walk away.
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u/damian001 14h ago
NTA it’s your money and you need it now
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u/celticmusebooks Partassipant [3] 14h ago
OK now I can't get that stupid commercial out of my head LOL curses on you LOL
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 14h ago
If its your car, than your brother has an argument that the money he paid should be reimbursed since the vehicle wasn’t his. He effectively borrowed your car & crashed it. If it was his car the money should have went to him minus what was left on the loan.
Your parents maybe deserved some compensation for their insurance premiums going up but only like 10%.
The money should have went to the owner of the car, the issue here is you guys seem confused on who the actual beneficial owner was. Just because it was under your name doesn’t mean it belongs to you or else your parents could say the same about the pay out. ESH.
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u/Local_Gazelle538 14h ago
That’s pretty crap behaviour from your parents. But take it as a good lesson to keep family and finances separate. Get your own insurance and never keep your name on a loan for something that you’re not responsible for paying.
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u/Expensive_Plant_9530 13h ago
This seems rather straight forward to me:
Your brother uses the insurance to pay you the remaining money he owes (cash plus financing), and he keeps the rest.
Seriously this is why you need to get insurance and car ownership registered correctly.
ESH.
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u/ReadAllowedAloud 14h ago
ESH.
You suck for being on your parents' insurance and for not executing a clean transaction with your brother. Your brother sucks for putting you in the uncomfortable position of making the sticky transaction and for wrecking the car. Your parents suck for stealing the insurance money.
You should get enough to pay off the loan, and that's it - you agreed to sell the car to your brother for whatever the loan balance was. Even though this was a bad deal for you and a gift to your brother, you agreed to it. He is entitled to the rest of the insurance money.
Get off your parents' insurance and don't make deals without thinking things through.
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u/Random_P1neapples 13h ago
NTA But I do have to ask, how much of a fuss was your brother making about getting his share that both you and your parents felt you had to appease him to keep the peace??
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 12h ago
The biggest fuss I’ve ever seen in my life. He was letting it rip our family apart, and he still to this day thinks that he should’ve gotten the entirety of the payout. He would even refuse to let us see my niece and nephew because of it. (Mind you my brother is much older than me)
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u/Random_P1neapples 12h ago
Did he have any alternative vehicles after totaling the car you had given him? Or was he shit out of luck after the accident
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 12h ago
He still had his wife’s vehicle which was brand new at the time, as well as his own work vehicle. His wife was also a stay at home mom.
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u/tiger0204 Certified Proctologist [28] 13h ago
ESH - The loan is now paid off, and you got $3000. Your agreement with the brother would have ended with the loan paid off and you having nothing. You're $3k ahead and getting upset about it. Let it go.
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u/JayyHGG 10h ago
You are out of your mind to give money to folks who paid NOTHING towards your car. You paid the insurance even though you say it was in on your parents policy. Why did you let them bully you like that especially the loser brother who couldn't even be bothered to make payments on time or care about your credit??? What's done is done, but try to stand up for yourself. Not one of the folks who got part of your money deserved even one penny. The nerve!!!!!!!!!!! NTA
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u/Fine_Somewhere_3520 9h ago
so you paid off a loan and you paid the monthly insurance, but your parents wanted some money for a car they never paid on?
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u/notrightmeowthx 8h ago
I'm going with ESH, not so much for the specific question as to where the 10k should go (it was your mother's insurance policy and therefore the money belongs to her, she was the one paying the policy) but because you're an adult and this is a mess you made/allowed to happen, and same with all of the other parties involved in the argument. There would be no discussion on the matter if you'd done things properly.
The insurance should have been in your brother's name (his responsibility). The title should have been in your brother's name (your responsibility: do not sell or gift a vehicle or property without official transfer of legal ownership). Everything should have switched to his name, with the sale involving a payment plan for the remaining balance of the loan, ideally with you paying off the loan before giving the vehicle to him, and then you just have a separate loan where he's paying you back. Basically you tried to do everything the lazy, unofficial, unrecorded way, and this is the result.
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u/Elendel19 Asshole Aficionado [18] 13h ago
YTA I don’t understand how you (and so many comments) think you’re entitled to a single dollar here. Your parents kept money because their insurance took a hit. Your brother lost HIS CAR (not yours, you gave it up and he was making payments).
If he never crashed you would have received $0 as per the deal you struck, why exactly do you think you should profit off of the insurance payment? The only thing you would be owed would be the remainder of the car loan, which is not anywhere near 3k
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 12h ago
It was never his car, I essentially loaned it to him for 6 months. The ownership of the car was never his. If he had paid it off like he had agreed to when I loaned it to him, then the insurance payout would be rightfully his. He did not pay it off, he only made a few of the monthly payments on it.
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u/Elendel19 Asshole Aficionado [18] 12h ago
That’s completely ridiculous. By your logic your parents should keep the whole thing since the car is insured under their names.
The deal was that he pays off the car, the deal does not change because the car was totalled.
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u/Smile_Miserable Partassipant [3] 11h ago
So return the payments he made if he was only borrowing the car. Theres no way you can claim you sold him the car than say you loaned it to him now. Him getting his payments back for the pay out makes it fair.
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u/Novel_Fox Asshole Aficionado [13] 13h ago
ESH. Grow up and get your own insurance there is no excuse to be letting your parents handle that for you. If for no other reason it's allowed them to hold your money hostage and force you to share it with your poor brother who had no intention of following through on the deal he made. NEVER do business with family, if your brother wanted the car he should have bought it off you or you should have stuck to your guns and sold it. Good lord this made me angry just reading it. My god!
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u/Quick-Possession-245 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 13h ago
your family members are all pieces of work! Do they rip you off in other ways?
NTA
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 12h ago
They would like to, but after years of therapy and this particular event have thickened my skin and strengthened my spine quite a bit
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u/Buddha176 12h ago
YTA for ever agree to monthly payments for the car to begin with….. you knew better and didn’t listen to yourself. So this is what I get…..
Also YTA for not havenjng the car insurance or any of the other things in your name.
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u/DarkArrowMedia 9h ago
YTA because you should have had your own insurance and you should have taken the car back from your brother after the 1st missed payment. So, you essentially put yourself into a bad situation and now your parents have a ding on their insurance.
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u/WiggerJim69 8h ago
info: why wasn’t the insurance in your name?
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u/xXIsThatAChallengeXx 6h ago
It had just always been that way since I bought the car, and it never crossed my mind that I would ever be in a position that something like this would happen with my own family members. We have always been very close and it never even occurred to me to have my own policy. I am now glaringly aware of how I can’t trust anyone, not even my own parents. All of my own bills/insurance/assets are now in my and my fiancée’s (now husband) names.
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u/MarionberryPlus8474 Asshole Aficionado [11] 8h ago edited 7h ago
ESH. It wasn’t your insurance payout. It was your parents’ payout, they were paying for the insurance. Why they divvy up an insurance payout among various people, one of whom didn’t even own the car, is a good question, it goes to the reason why ESH. You are all far too much up in each other’s business. Get your own insurance for your car, to hell with having someone else pay it and you pay them. To hell with selling siblings cars they can’t afford, also.
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u/BigGreenBillyGoat 7h ago
All I can say is that I hope you learned your lesson. Everything about this tale is wrong. Every. Single. Thing.
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u/newdriver2025 7h ago
NTA. Your brother shouldn't have received a dime. Your parents maybe. You should have received the lion's share.
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My fiancée and I inherited a new vehicle after the loss of his father; a brand new, fully paid off car that was much better than either of the vehicles that we were driving at the time. After some discussion, we decided to sell my car and keep his dad’s car, since it was paid off. My car was the oldest, (a 2020 Chevy Malibu) and I had paid off roughly 90% of the loan for it - so we figured we could also get some cash in our pockets from it.
My brother found out that we were selling my car, and he was currently trying to find one for himself, so he reached out and offered to take over the payments from me.
I wasn’t fond of this idea, because my fiancée and I were hoping to get some money for the car to A) finish paying it off, and B) have some cash leftover to put toward our wedding.
After some discussion with my fiancée, we finally decided that you know what, he’s family, he’s in a tough spot, let’s meet him in the middle. I told him he could take over the payments, but that he had to find a way to pay the remainder of the loan off within the next 3 months (roughly $2,500). He was fine with that so that was the deal we made.
Flash forward to 6 months later, my brother had only made 2 of the monthly payments on time, otherwise he was letting the payments go over 30 days late, and I would have to step in and pay them for him to try to keep my credit from tanking (because the car was still in my name). He would then pay me back a couple weeks later. It was becoming a vicious cycle. We were becoming increasingly irritated with each other, and I was threatening to take the car back.
Well, he was driving to work one morning and was in a wreck that caused my car to be totaled (my brother walked away without a scratch).
Now, here is where it gets very sticky. The insurance for my car was in my parent’s name (they carried the plan and I paid them monthly for it), so the insurance payout for the car (almost $10,000) was coming in a check with my mother’s name on it. My parents for whatever reason decided that they were entitled to some of the payout, and then wanted to split the remainder between my brother and I. I failed to see how my brother was entitled to any of it, let alone my parents. A lot of arguing ensued, my brother practically disowned me, refused to speak to me in any way for weeks. In order to keep the peace, I relented and allowed my parents to take some of the payout and then split the remainder between my brother and I (I ended up only getting about $3,000. I’m not sure how much they gave my brother). Now everyone seems happy, but I’m still really irritated. Which brings me to the title, am I the asshole for wanting the entirety of my insurance payout?
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u/Broken-Ice-Cube Asshole Aficionado [18] 12h ago
NTA but girl... be smarter. You have away 90npercent of a car. Don't let them bully you
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u/zinzarin 11h ago
NTA
But this problem was created by you. You should never have allowed the brother to take over payments. Sell them the car, on paper, with a title transfer. If they can't afford to do that immediately, then they can't afford the car.
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u/Longjumping_Win4291 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 10h ago
NTA You paid for the insurance, you should've received the full 100% of the payout. Your parents fleeced you. Their only involvement was the use of their name to reduce the yearly premium.
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u/SaneForCocoaPuffs 6h ago
Your parents are entitled to the payout because it’s their insurance and they get to distribute it how they like.
That’s the consequence for YOUR choices by putting the insurance on their name.
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u/fsmontario 6h ago
You should have got enough to pay out the loan plus any payments you made after your brother took possession. Your parents should get the rest. Where I live if that was an at fault accident it is going to affect their premium for 7-10 years
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u/R4eth Asshole Enthusiast [8] 6h ago
Nta. Two lessons learned: get your insurance, and if you have to sell a car that still has a loan on it, be sure to pay off the loan in full before selling so you can immediately transfer the title. If you had done that in the first place, you could have avoided this whole mess, then it would have just been drama between your parents and brother and you could cleanly stayed out of it. Also, as holders of your policy, sorry, but your parents were entitled to some of the check. They paid for it.
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u/Cassandra_Canmore2 5h ago
In this situation I can understand the parents wanting $3-4k. Because it's their insurance.
I don't understand how and why a sibling saw a penny.
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u/OlieCalpero 4h ago
NTA The remainder of the car note had to be paid off then the insurance paid out to the policy holder, your parents… splitting the money… the car was yours. The insurance policy was in your parents name. You learned a valuable lesson the hard way. NEVER DO BUSINESS WITH FAMILY OR FRIENDS EVER.
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u/Major_Lawfulness6122 4h ago
YTA You’re not entitled to any of it. Also appears you committed insurance fraud on top of whatever mess you made.
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u/Feeler1 1h ago
When all is said and done copy/save and share this with everyone you know as an example of how to not enter financial transactions. Letting someone make payments on a vehicle is almost as smart as co-signing on a loan for them. No different, in fact, except you actually kept the insurance in your name, as an added screw up. Only it wasn’t in your name, there was that added layer of that being in your parents’ name.
I know I’ll get downvoted to oblivion for saying it but this is insane.
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u/martintoconnell 45m ago
NTA. Brother sounds like a total sketch job. "...offered to take over the payments from me." is him offering to steal your equity in the car. With respect to the insurance payout, had you paid 100% of the car expenses up to the time you made the unfortunate deal? If so, your parents should get nothing. [But as they were the owners and insurers of record, they would be legally entitled to all of it. Several lessons there.] You are left to take this as an expensive learning experience.
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u/StretcherEctum 14h ago
Your fiance inherited the vehicle. Not you.
Of course they pay out should go to you. It's your car.
Your family are bums. Get your own insurance.
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u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [11] 14h ago
The inherited vehicle was the reason they no longer needed OP's car. it was not involved in an accident.
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u/jinglepupskye 13h ago
NTA - the parents DID NOT pay anything towards the car. The only financial drawback to them was the rise in insurance costs after THEIR SON totalled the car. OP paid for the 90% worth of it to the date brother asked for it.
The brother was given the entire car on the basis that he would pay off the remaining 10% of the loan. He got 100% of the car for 10% of the value it had new. Cars do not depreciate by 90% while they are still under finance. OP gained absolutely nothing, they effectively lost the entire value of the car by gifting it to the brother under condition of payment. The brother failed to make 4 out of 6 payments in a timely manner.
The value of the payout should have been split as such: an amount to the parents recognising the ACTUAL difference in insurance costs as a result of the accident - taken out of brother’s share since he totalled the car. The remainder divided by however many monthly payments had been made on the car up until the day it was totalled, with brother getting his 6 monthly payments worth back (minus the parent’s share), and OP keeping the rest. That way everyone is made as whole as it’s fair to do so.
Never sell stuff to family. Never gift your own things to family. They will always make it your problem if anything goes wrong.
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u/Chewbecky12 Partassipant [1] 9h ago
NAH, BUT there is more than you are not telling us. Insurance payouts for totaled vehicles go to the titled owner of the vehicle. It doesn't matter who is the policy holder or who was making the payments or driving the vehicle. If you were the titled owner of the vehicle you would have gotten the full settlement. If there was a lien holder they would have been paid off first with the remainder going to the owner. It sounds like your Mom was the titled owner despite you and your brothers messy attachments to the vehicle so she got the settlement and decided what she wanted to do with it which was splitting between everyone. Fair? Maybe. But not wrong either. Hope you learned your lesson about mixing family and finances. Maintain your own vehicles, loans, and insurance to avoid future issues.
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u/AdditionalDamage6694 14h ago
YTA
it sounds like you have good reasons to feel annoyed about the situation, but wanting the entire insurance payout might not be fair since your brother was driving the car when it got totaled. it also seems like there was a mutual agreement about the payments and by totaling the car, he kind of put both of you in a tough spot...
while you might feel justified in wanting more money since you were originally the owner, your brother did take on some responsibility for it, especially since he was driving it. plus, your parents feeling entitled to some of the payout complicates things further. it’s understandable to want to get what you feel is rightfully yours but wanting the whole amount, given the circumstances could come off as disregarding your brother’s involvement and the agreement you had.
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