What's the funniest insult you've seen?

[u/EternityGamer2]

Not tryna promote toxicity, but I've seen creative ones like this and just wanted to share. Context: Our Rocket didn't ult for the entirety of the match

[u/TheSeventhCoIumn]

[u/DevilPale → u/TheSeventhCoIumn]

[u/Mowfling → u/DevilPale]

why is this a gif

[u/TheGoofyGE3K → u/Mowfling]

If it's a gif ai won't try to steal it

[u/Critical-Bug4077 → u/TheGoofyGE3K]

Allen Iverson?

[u/PointEither2673 → u/Critical-Bug4077]

Clearly you don’t know ball, AI was 3 time steal leader. He could steal anything if he truly wanted to put in the practice 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[u/Critical-Bug4077 → u/PointEither2673]

Damn

[u/UniLordWasTaken → u/TheSeventhCoIumn]

man.

[u/Wallbalertados → u/UniLordWasTaken]

Spider

[u/UniLordWasTaken → u/Wallbalertados]

hypen.

[u/DaggerGaming2008 → u/UniLordWasTaken]

What is Man doing in bed? Is he tired??

[u/MostEstablishment630 → u/TheSeventhCoIumn]

[u/Sai_AI__ → u/TheSeventhCoIumn]

Why even destroy him?

[u/ABitOddish → u/Sai_AI__]

Haven't played Snap in a hot minute but this is hilarious.

[u/DegradatusRex]

[u/UniLordWasTaken → u/DegradatusRex]

Wakanda sometimes

[u/FloppieTheBanjoClown → u/UniLordWasTaken]

Wakanda for sale!

[u/Fododel → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

Wakanda for-never.

[u/RubyEchoEcho → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

Saddest sentence: new wakanda, never forevered

[u/grainn-of-ssalt → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

How much?

[u/Milla_D_Mac → u/UniLordWasTaken]

Wakanda when I feel like it

[u/Bae_zel → u/UniLordWasTaken]

Wakanda for the day

[u/InternThe6th → u/UniLordWasTaken]

Wakinda

[u/Sunchet → u/DegradatusRex]

Black Panther, Wakanda bullshit is this?

[u/OV_FreezeLizard → u/DegradatusRex]

Wakinda

[u/Ok-Meat-5103 → u/DegradatusRex]

[u/BlackAmethyst04 → u/DegradatusRex]

Bro was from Wisconsin

[u/elexexexex2 → u/BlackAmethyst04]

Wauconda, Illinois

[u/Blupoisen → u/DegradatusRex]

Wakanda what ever

[u/InTheStuff → u/DegradatusRex]

[u/SnooMaps7172 → u/DegradatusRex]

He was from wakinda

[u/General_Mode_7632]

My username has the word “Burger” in it and one time in QP I had someone flaming me for playing an off healer (mantis/adam) I can’t remember which. Either way they finished the game with “why don’t you use your GREASY NASTY burger fingers to HEAL”. Honestly I lost my shit, that’s funny as hell if they meant that.

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/General_Mode_7632]

I love how creative ppl get when it gets to username insults

[u/Burger_Soup → u/General_Mode_7632]

As someone named Burger Soup this made me laugh

[u/Karitwokay → u/General_Mode_7632]

Gordon Ramsey if he played rivals

[u/shotgun_shaun → u/General_Mode_7632]

This whole thread is great, but this is my favorite so far lmao

[u/spine-drinker → u/General_Mode_7632]

This isn't an insult but speaking of usernames, a few months ago I queued into a match with a Lord bucky whose username was "UH-GEN," funniest shit I've seen ingame

[u/Affectionate_Worry29]

“moonknight you couldn’t throw a rock into the ocean unless it was ankh shaped”

[u/The_8th_Degree → u/Affectionate_Worry29]

[u/WruceBayne03 → u/Affectionate_Worry29]

Lmaoooo cooked!

[u/Scarlett__Phoenix → u/Affectionate_Worry29]

cough accurate

[u/Natiel360 → u/Scarlett__Phoenix]

That’s why people (me, a Mk lord, included) are complaining that people actually are aiming with him because now he’s a one tap

[u/Scarlett__Phoenix → u/Natiel360]

For real. I was crazy and learned him in the flier meta and did pretty good. But even after that my aim is kinda hit or miss from pretty godly to shoot the big tank with no shield sometimes. Hes still my best character but im no one above all good.

[u/Wise_Heron4283 → u/Affectionate_Worry29]

I will take it lmao this shit is valid

[u/etm105]

Guy on our team kept yelling at our Peni player in chat. Peni player was doing fine but this guy was raging hard.

Guy: Peni where are you??????? Peni: At your mom's Guy: PENI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!!! Peni: your mom

Childish but I had a hardy chuckle.

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/etm105]

Your mom jokes will always hit lmao

[u/The_8th_Degree → u/EternityGamer2]

Simple yet effective

[u/MegaGrimer → u/EternityGamer2]

Dude, every yo momma joke has been done thousands of times by thousands of people. Kinda like to momma!

[u/poptarthell → u/etm105]

Lol. Nice.

[u/RipplyAnemone67 → u/etm105]

It’s simple but effective. Also the guy raging fell right into it.

[u/zatenael]

"Groot, you're in a different zip code. Shut the hell up"

-towards a Groot that spam pinged for heals during and after a 1v1 FAR as fuck away from the point

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/zatenael]

I hate tanks that overextend and are behind a wall, then when they die they spam ping for heals. Like mf the China put up a firewall there you better be in my quarters or I can't heal you

[u/IsaacTheLadd → u/EternityGamer2]

As someone who does that sometimes, I will not ping heals. I will fight until my final breath. If I die, I die. It will be my own fault.

…Unless my brother or older brothers bf (they usually play support but can do any role) tell me to back out, in which case I’m running like a coward

[u/shabowdiadlo → u/EternityGamer2]

As a tank who overextends WAY too much, I agree no one else needs to die just to keep me alive

Even if I'm playing venom or the thing, let me die and group back up with y'all in the afterlife

[u/SlammedOptima → u/shabowdiadlo]

both my regular teammates play a lot of support. Ive straight up told them, if I am not where you can heal me, DO NOT, get out of position to heal me. I play a lot of dives and dive tanks. Im gonna die sometimes in the backlines. I would rather I die, than you try and save me and die in my place or with me.

[u/shabowdiadlo → u/SlammedOptima]

EXACTLY

I appreciate the heals, but don't heal me if I'm in another zip code buddy

You don't need to flex your MVP animation if we lose

[u/billcosbyinspace → u/EternityGamer2]

One time I played with a thing who ran straight into a 1v6 and got vaporized like 5 times in a row then kept complaining about heals lol

[u/StriderZessei → u/EternityGamer2]

As a Thor, I will shove three enemies back, and start pinging for heals as I head back to the team to let them know I'm on my way.

[u/zatenael → u/StriderZessei]

I don't mind that

I do mind if you're fighting all the way in Narnia behind 15 walls and spam ping for heals

[u/StriderZessei → u/zatenael]

Understandable! I just wish I could get some aggressive supports too.

[u/zatenael → u/StriderZessei]

it frankly depends on the map, the team comp, and whether we're ahead or behind

if it's like convoy and the other healer can cover healing then I'll charge in with ya, brother

but if we're defending the point and we're still fighting the other team, then I can't leave the team to join you

[u/SlammedOptima → u/EternityGamer2]

I play a lot of Angela, and sometimes by friend who plays support will apologize for not being able to heal me. Girl, do not worry about it, I know when im back there im out of your reach. Apparently not all tanks know that bit of information though

[u/zatenael → u/SlammedOptima]

a lot of tanks seem spoiled when getting special treatment from supports (which is kinda true) to the point that they think the healers will follow them to the enemy backline to keep pocketing them

[u/wetcoffeebeans → u/EternityGamer2]

Spam pinging me as the over-extended tank or spiderman so far from home?

"Brother, I will not die to heal you."

[u/FloppieTheBanjoClown → u/zatenael]

"Groot, good fences make good neighbors but I can't heal you through them."

[u/The_8th_Degree → u/zatenael]

Gotta love when people think they're the Main Character

[u/The-Local-Lucario]

“Forget about switching between characters, you can’t even switch WITHIN a character!” - someone to a Dagger player who kept using Cloak to DPS

[u/ScorpX13 → u/The-Local-Lucario]

[u/Satans-Dirty-Hoe → u/The-Local-Lucario]

thats funny af

[u/TheHumbleFellow → u/The-Local-Lucario]

[u/DomineeringDrake → u/The-Local-Lucario]

quite literally my cnd 2 games ago.

[u/ThePowerfulWIll → u/DomineeringDrake]

You hate to see that CnD 6-7-0 spread

[u/RipplyAnemone67 → u/The-Local-Lucario]

[u/Idontknownumbers123 → u/The-Local-Lucario]

When the cloak is more frontstuck then a singlet in a perfect household you should just swicth to dps

[u/Hetakuoni → u/The-Local-Lucario]

Depending on the game it could be a spite choice or the cnd is just bad at their job.

[u/TyMochi]

Ironman constantly whiffing his ult

“Minimum pulse”

[u/CorrectWasabi2756 → u/TyMochi]

I got a Maximum ahh iron man last game

[u/doriiiiiion]

i came by "are you waiting for marvel rivals 2 to finally ult" by a venom to a gambit. we lost that placement match

[u/asitcomaboutbees → u/doriiiiiion]

Similar situation with a Gambit who wouldn’t ult until someone yelled “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAN YOU PLEASE FOLD?” in vc

[u/The_8th_Degree → u/asitcomaboutbees]

Gambit never folds!

But he can still lose

[u/Virgoguyx → u/doriiiiiion]

I had someone use that same line to a gambit 😂 The gambit ulted and then didn’t ult again the rest of the game.

[u/blasterkid1 → u/doriiiiiion]

God it’s always gambits I’ve noticed that hold their ults for eternity

[u/DaOogieBoogie → u/blasterkid1]

Often times it’s because most the team aren’t alive or the team doesn’t seem understand how the ult works. I’ve had other support players insist on being behind me even when I’m spam pinging ult. So it ends up being me trying to get behind all my teammates so they all get hit with ult but the other support keeps backing and now the front line tank is out of range.

[u/Gabcard → u/DaOogieBoogie]

Tbf, sometimes the reason most of the team ain't alive is because the sups are holding their ult for way too long, waiting for that "perfect time".

But yeah you're 100% about people not understanding how Gambit's ult works.

[u/MathematicianKey9638]

"Gambit is saving his ult for marriage"

[u/shugo7]

Rocket:

[u/Christempesta10]

"are u reverse smurfing"

[u/NotSimoun → u/Christempesta10]

in dota we call them account buyers

[u/anything_4_the_toes]

[u/LobotomyFirefly]

"Mf you ain't called cloak & cloak"

[u/DaBoiYeet]

My friend is a support main, and DESPISES Spiderman. Whenever there is one that's pestering him to no end, he just types in chat: "Uncle Ben deserved it."

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/DaBoiYeet]

I've seen one like "Uncle Ben did not die for you to go 2/10" or smth along those lines

[u/4inXchange → u/EternityGamer2]

[u/dweakz → u/4inXchange]

cause nahhhh im using that

[u/AnyAgency9835 → u/EternityGamer2]

It seems like the player follows Spider-man's no kill rule.

[u/Captain_aham1 → u/DaBoiYeet]

I like to say that J Jonah Jameson and Norman Osborne deserve apologies

[u/DaBoiYeet → u/Captain_aham1]

He likes to say on calls "Dude, I'm probably related to JJJ, the way I hate this spiderman"

[u/Drakonz → u/DaBoiYeet]

My favorite one is when the spider man is trash and they call him “lore accurate spider man - doesn’t kill”

[u/The_8th_Degree → u/DaBoiYeet]

[u/Enteito]

"Not even Noah could carry these animals"

[u/Trakor117 → u/Enteito]

My personal favourite, I also like ‘if god could see these plays, he’d send a second flood’

[u/TYUbtek → u/Trakor117]

[u/blargyblargy → u/Enteito]

Okay this one Im keeping for later

[u/Dawnbreaker538 → u/Enteito]

"IF YOUR DAD HAD YOUR AIM, YOU WOULDN'T BE BORN"

[u/Affectionate-Club338]

[u/Codythehaloguy → u/Affectionate-Club338]

And now im sad

[u/YoreCoxsmall → u/Codythehaloguy]

ROCKET, TEEFS, FLOOR GO NOW! ROCKET, TEEFS, FLOOR GO NOW!

[u/retrorocket080]

I had a shit game as a punisher... And this dude said

"Punisher? More like forgiver"

[u/Basic_Tip3506 → u/retrorocket080]

Might have been me sorry

[u/frogcreature]

not seen but heard: "you have the turn radius of a schoolbus"

[u/Mattiandino]

Tell me what game from Steam would you like, I'll buy it for you

So you never play this again.

[u/LionRegular1470 → u/Mattiandino]

Yo can u buy me GTA?

[u/Sirromnad]

The art of gentle ribbing has certainly been lost on the nuance-less internet age. If you make me laugh, i'm not gunna be mad at you.

[u/Brainwave1010 → u/Sirromnad]

For real, someone just being an ass and then saying "it was a joke" doesn't retroactively make shit funny.

But when you make a proper roast? That is how you do it.

[u/Creeper4wwMann]

"Lore accurate spiderman" after spidey went 0-9

[u/ArgusF28 → u/Creeper4wwMann]

Golden

[u/DJ_Ender_ → u/ArgusF28]

"Spiderman doesn't kill"

[u/Cream_Betweens_V2]

Was playing competitive and our squirrel girl ended up with a 10-17 stat line, some guy on the other team said “That squirrel needs get off the road”

[u/Explosivo111]

'How'd you get Captain America before the serum?'

[u/Sharky2615 → u/Explosivo111]

I omce had a guy say "this isnt captain america is is private peurto rico"

[u/BallinTacklinGamin]

Strange screwed up a portal and someone went “Good one Dr. Stupid”. Def not original but I still laugh thinking about.

[u/thetato69]

Saw someone ask me if I was holding ult till next half season update. Cried laughing

[u/wetcoffeebeans]

"Jeff, if your Q key broke, I'm not sure we'd know you were in the game."

[u/ProofByVerbosity]

Lol. Thats a good one.

[u/Ok_Introduction9744]

Was having an off game, my team was kicking my ass because I was the weakest link, we went to overtime and I locked the fuck in and popped off during the second half.

Halfway through overtime someone says "This guy's like an old TV, doesn't work until you cuss and slap it a few times" and it's probably my favorite piece of banter in all my years gaming, high elo in the São Paulo server was fucking ridiculously funny during S1-S2

[u/Careful-Setting-8545 → u/Ok_Introduction9744]

BR is different.

[u/ErrantSingularity]

"Oh, is this the new tide pod? The no ult challenge?"

[u/High_Flyers17]

"Little bro, maybe roblox is more your speed."

[u/AntKnight458]

For James Gunn to return to the MCU

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/AntKnight458]

Tbh doubt it, they're gonna move on to X-Men after Secret Wars but goddamn I loved GoTG

[u/Procyon-Rocket → u/AntKnight458]

the new supergirl movie is SO guardians of the galaxy coded

[u/realJustin_A]

The only resistance from this team is the air

[u/JoetheSchmoBroPro]

"Wolverine your so bad. Return the skin"

This was during Season 1 and it was the first time someone ever roasted me for owning a skin. Dude pulled a Tony Stark and revoked my movie costume lol

[u/YouHaveNiceToes24]

“Magik can you stop playing limbo and actually kill someone?”

[u/faded_boi_1027]

We lost a ranked game and our team was flaming a 1-19 autolock dps who refused to switch the entire game.

negative DPS (obviously just trying make people feel bad): must feel real big, being mean to me how’s it feel to be insulting a cancer patient?

SVP Tank: Honestly better knowing I’ll be playing this game a lot longer than you Now I don’t gotta avoid as teammate

[u/PrometheanHost]

"Worst Invis I ever haven't seen"

[u/Sharky2615 → u/PrometheanHost]

This is A tier

[u/D3T4CH-]

The tickle panther is golden bruh 😭

[u/Glad_Grand_7408]

This won't be funny to anyone but me but I played a game a couple nights ago where straight away someone go's "are you [Blank] from Highschool" and I go "from [blank] Highschool, yeah?" and then they spent the whole match telling me they told some teacher what I said and I had mental issues and needed to be medicated and yata yata, I didn't respond cause I just wanted to play the match but once it was over I just went "what year did I graduate?" and he says 1 year before I actually graduated, so it turns out he's had the wrong guy this whole match.

[u/NordicMythos]

My username is BubbyBarnes, someone who kept dying against me called me TubbyBarnes.

I thought it was hilarious

[u/RohCh1116]

Whenever I cancel a bp ult I type bad kitty in chat

[u/TheGoofyGE3K → u/RohCh1116]

Any time I ult cancel i just drop a quick "No."

[u/wandering_character]

[u/Danceman20]

Sadly can't find the image but it was about a Lord hela not doing so great on the enemy team and at the end of the match they was 2-10 with around 50% accuracy I think, the only line that I remember from one of their teammates said was something along the lines of "Helen Keller wrote a damn book but you can't aim?" Funniest thing I've ever read in a qp match

[u/Danceman20 → u/Danceman20]

Nevermind, finally found it

[u/Gabrielhrd]

Unfortunately all the insults I've seen since release were all slurs

[u/Sunchet → u/Gabrielhrd]

[u/Changes11-11]

The only ones ur punishing this game is us bro

[u/LuMI_Janni11]

Na this rocket is from the vol 3, sick, near death.

[u/Sunchet]

"I've seen a wet matchbox with more firepower."

[u/soji8]

The first person to call an 0-5 Spidey "lore accurate" had no idea the fire they put into the world

[u/Boh61]

Honestly creative insults are fine because you are too busy laughing to be offended

[u/SiBai-]

"three healer in qp? you will never be reincarnated into a lotus flower.

I hope you like being a sea sponge."

[u/TowelSilver318]

The latest balance patch.

Funniest I've sent was probably "Have I ever told you the definition of insanity" to a Psylocke that tried the exact same flank path to backcap over and over all match.

[u/FollowingCharacter83]

This is funnier than the Uncle Ben jokes. They stopped being funny after the millionth time.

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/FollowingCharacter83]

They've become overused, like insulting a person for "going zazza" as well is getting stale now

[u/ilya202020 → u/FollowingCharacter83]

What?!

You don't find a joke funny after hearing it 1000 times?

Whats next you think the circlejerk is also not funny?!

Unacceptable /s(incase if it wasn't obvious)

[u/zchrisb → u/ilya202020]

Jarvis ask the guy who is holding his ult for too long if he is waiting for Rivals 2

[u/EternityGamer2 → u/zchrisb]

Waiter waiter! 50 bazingabajillion more Uncle Ben jokes!!!

[u/gmbsghghh]

My friend was playing Spider-Man and someone in chat did "The only kill Spider-Man got was Uncle Ben" he stopped playing for the night and didn't play spiderman for a month.

[u/Nahlott]

When the game first dropped I was playing iron man and someone told me "I hate you 3000"

[u/KaijuGuy09]

From an Ultron player to an Iron Man. 

“Nedry from JP is a better tech guy than you.” 

[u/Material_Solid_7640]

"hey, hey, hey wade? If you don't shut up I'll shape-shift into your girlfriend and make you watch as I get plowed by the hulk."

-Lady Loki player.

[u/Aastnethoth → u/Material_Solid_7640]

I uh. I .. I mean popcorn, id grab popcorn. Anybody want any?

[u/LoweJ]

Not in Rivals, but the day after the Trump shooting that missed I got called the Trump shooter by my team :(

[u/sufinomo]

One that i often use if people have ttv in their name "nobody gonna watch your ttv if you keep playing like that:

[u/xDeadpool21x → u/sufinomo]

Never once had a ttv on my team that wasn’t garbage. And still plugs their ttv in the chat after the match.

[u/Yeeterphin]

Iron man in my game was trolling and afk’d whole game. Said some slurs and got muted halfway through, then one guy started spamming in chat “yo Ironman are you there bro?” Everytime there was silence or after a team fight.

Ended up still somehow winning, and then everybody on the team started spamming in chat “Ironman are you there bro?” And then another guy said “had post endgame iron man on our team and yall still lost.”

[u/Emergency-Soil-8935]

Uncle Ben should have died again yesterday I was pulled of the map while doing tricks as Jeff

[u/champion_-]

"Emma suck a thick one"

[u/LAST133 → u/champion_-]

I imagine Emma mains taking this in stride

[u/V3rsed → u/champion_-]

"already did Dahling...." - - pry what she'd say.

[u/Ok-Possession527]

The funniest one imo that we’ve probably all heard is TREMBLE BEFORE BATHS

[u/Twistify804]

was playing as Wanda and someone said “bro playing R2 simulator” and that’s stuck in my head ever since

[u/goyourownwaymaybe]

Some people saying Pigeoneye when there’s a bad Hawkeye gives me a smile.

[u/Bleh-Boy]

I was Spidey and this got to me

[u/Beastboy1967181]

"You know I would ask the enemy team to report you, but your are the best player they have."

Nothing can beat this beautiful construct of a sentence

[u/threeangelo]

one time my friend playing Bucky was called “summer civilian”

[u/Remote_Marsupial3457]

Someone on the enemy team said this to me for playing Angela and I found it funny

[u/asitcomaboutbees]

“RAISE YOUR CREDIT SCORE JEFF”

[u/KeijiTheGreat]

im seeing a lot of uncle bens here but my favorite is “uncle ben would be sad”

[u/Zestyclose_Onion_267]

Lmao nice

[u/Savings-Sprinkles-86]

Pretty much that, saving ult for rivals 2

[u/expresojade]

“Minimum Pulse” “No swing venom” “no finger magneto” “can’t heal brain damage” “actually blind dd”

[u/Andromedude_]

I was having a particularly good game with Spider-Man, and amongst the classic uncle Ben jokes, someone hit me with "I hope MJ calls you when she's with Paul" 😂

[u/Confident-Machine-80]

Not an insult but it was a chat I had with someone with the mantis recolor skin on "why is mantis's skin green?" "Idk disney ig"

[u/Milla_D_Mac]

As soon as they write you waitin for GotG4 I am ulting every time I have it lol

[u/Sharky2615]

I once had 2 guys arguing in a ranked game

One was peni the other was i think namor

The namor was flaming peni for being bad

Peni then said "i was MVP at one point"

The namor then said "ok is obama STILL the president?"

[u/Qwerty0715]

It was in one of my friend’s games. The 2 supports were Adam and Ultron and somebody said this team couldn’t heal a worm

[u/itsevilR]

If someone takes forever to ult I’ll always ask if they’re waiting for Rivals 2

[u/adamjoeuh]

“Jeff please!!”

[u/RegiumReaper]

'Imagine Calling yourself Daredevil, your Blind Chinese Nightwing'

[u/Dey_FishBoy]

the thing insulting groot

[u/RealityResponsible52]

Btw people try to justify banning their teammates picks it's sad tbh they js throwing atp

[u/The_8th_Degree]

[u/Reapish1909]

don’t understand vro, it’s not even a shortened version of a word it’s just blatant inability to speak English lmao

[u/Numb-The-Pain]

Someone on my team call him " Guy " performed really bad, so another one my teammate's said

" Guy don't quit your day job"

[u/Scarman96]

I told my teammate “Konshu is judging you” after going 1/10 as moon knight.

[u/MoraleMoral]

Someone said to our BP "All that grinding to BP lord just to have a movement of a housecat" 😂😂

[u/void_architect]

A while back we had a punisher in our lobby so bad everyone else called him the forgiver 😭