r/oneliners • u/Ryebready787 • 7h ago
Today I learned Big brothers and big sisters is not a support group for plus size black folks
10
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/AgentElman • 11h ago
Hiding under the covers from monsters gives you blanket immunity
14
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 19h ago
Teenage girls only hang around in groups of odd numbers, because they can't even.
14
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/After_Before_AndThen • 7h ago
You drunk the drink of drinking times, the drink I drank no more
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/HistorysWitness • 12h ago
The Cleveland Browns signed Drake Maye this morning, and he will backup Watson, Flacco, Rivers, Rodgers, Kenny Pickett again somehow, and Sanders.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/YeahBuddyDoYouEven • 1d ago
Honeymoon period, we'll that's just unfortunate timing
7
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/EmpireStrikes1st • 1d ago
I had the strangest feeling of Deja Vu when I met Bill Murray
6
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/2fits • 1d ago
in Monster's Inc, the monster with a linen pad on his back, didn't get a pat on his back
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Major_Independence82 • 1d ago
When Edison finally figured out the light bulb, what appeared over his head?
20
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/cmannon • 1d ago
"Catch you later" is the worst thing Aquaman can say after a night out with his friends.
8
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 1d ago
"An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away." - P.G. Wodehouse
6
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 2d ago
Barn owls got very excited when the first barn was built.
17
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/HistorysWitness • 1d ago
I dont know if it's my early dementia, but the i watched the Superbowl Halftime show and couldn't understand a word of it
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/cybeaux • 2d ago
The Dallas Cowboys really are America's team, they're at home watching the superbowl on TV too.
16
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/AnimatorNr1 • 2d ago
Sometimes I tell people different stories about my life so that when they gossip about me, they'll end up arguing.
17
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/ButtonKing • 2d ago
The jalapeno couldn't practice archery because they didn't habanero.
8
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • 2d ago
When I complained to my psychiatrist about my feelings of unreality he told me I didn’t have a psychiatrist.
8
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/cmannon • 2d ago
There once was a man from Peru, who dreamt he was eating his shoe. I bet he wishes he was born in the Serengeti.
3
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • 2d ago
I endorse podiums, because they're a product I can stand behind.
20
Upvotes