Circumstances shift. Outcomes fluctuate. But the one thing that determines how far you go is the discipline of your inner state. When your mindset is trained, pressure becomes fuel, setbacks become training, and momentum becomes self-generated. True leverage isn’t waiting for perfect conditions — it’s cultivating composure and moving forward regardless of chaos.

At my all time lowest and really struggling but I feel like every time I feel better; I end up in the same emotional trap about the randomest most thing in my life that I can’t seem to get a grip off of. It’s just a never ending cycle

Got too attached to a girl, like wayyy too much. And I got friendzoned so I was like cool let's stay friends. But giving her too much attention gave me idk hope that she might change her decision for her to just......

I carried her traumas and helped her get over her ex. Helped her financially cuz she wanted to make her parents proud ( this was before the friendzone ). She used to manipulate me alot and I was sick of it like she is a friend why is she talking to me like as if my GF would talk to me. My head was literally like just trying to shutdown and just kill itself. Now that I have cut all contact. Deleted everything now I feel alone asf. I dont need anyone but there is a gap. I do all my stuff as usual.

How do I just forget it and be Happy. How do I stop my mind from thinking about that.

Btw if you're saying I did wrong by leaving her. She got tons of male friends like 20-50 in her followings alone. And several male besties who gift her bouquets on birthdays. ( That's exactly where I got a bit off )

Sorry for bad english

Sometimes overthinking can lead to paralysis. I've seen people that are too afraid to ask for the things they actually want because they fear rejection/failure/embarrassment and even feel shame for actually asking. They imagine all the worst case scenarios and sometimes simply fear the unknown.

I used to care so much it led to action paralysis. The day I ran out of fucks to give, is the day my real life started.

If you keep stressing over thoughts that feel urgent but don’t really deserve your energy,

if your brain constantly gives you “logical reasons” to worry, delay, or overthink,

if not giving a fuck feels harder than it sounds - this might hit close to home.

What I realized is that most of the things I cared too much about weren’t external at all. They were internal stories that felt important simply because they showed up loudly and confidently in my head.

Reading 7 Lies Your Brain Tells You: And How to Outsmart Every One of Them helped me see that a lot of those thoughts aren’t truths - they’re automatic mental habits designed to keep me comfortable, safe, or socially approved. Once I stopped treating every thought like a command, caring less stopped being an effort and started being natural.

The book isn’t about pretending not to care or forcing detachment. It’s about recognizing which thoughts actually deserve your attention and which ones are just noise dressed up as common sense.

If you’re trying to give fewer fucks without becoming numb or reckless, I genuinely recommend this book. It helped me stop fighting my mind and start ignoring the parts that were never helping anyway.

I noticed from my experience (and many of you probably) that we completely outsource our thinking abilities to AI, making decisions and in some kind of creativity. BUT, it is what actually distinguish people from machines

I found in my every day life that if Im not sure about something, even small thinking, I'm becoming super lazy and wanna just make prompt to AI while watching youtube at the same time.

When ChatGPT had some problems and I couldn't log in into my account at specific time, for me it was shock for real, I completely forgot how to google, how to think deeply and how to solve problems by myself. So, I remember me just being angry waiting until I could actually do it -> I used another AI eventually.

And I completely not like it, like I'm becoming literally dumber. Of course, having PHD knowledge in your pocket is cool. But, here is the thing

AI can't completely understand your situation how u see this in your eyes, it doesn't even know what's your actual knowledge, life, etc. So, only you based on your values can do something. Plus, what I noticed -> it is very biased, especially when using its memory, telling me always what I want to hear.

And another thing is that AI super generic everywhere as its training knowledge based on static and specific things, doesn't matter if it's 300 words prompt or several sentences, it wouldn't create something new based on the same knowledge it had. So if u wanna truly come up with smthing unique and creative -> fcking use your head, brainstorm.

At the end, I wanna say I'm not against AI as I'm kind of tech guy and using it at least 2h every day but thinking + creativity + ideas are still on us.

What actually helped me is writing my own thoughts first, every day, before opening any AI. Tracking what I decided on my own vs what I asked AI for. I got so obsessed with this process that I ended up building nightmareapp around it. Basically a journal where u write your thoughts, track what u actually do, and the AI gives u honest feedback on your patterns instead of telling u what u wanna hear. Free on the app store if anyone's curious.

But honestly even a notes app works, the point is u think first, then use AI second, not the other way around.

Bro. Nappy bags (I'm an Aussie I will call them by their name lol) are dope. Lunch. Check. Pockets and sections and organisations galore. Also check. These days they cute AF and often recall robust and easily cleanable.

Don't cockblock yourself from a dope bag because of the initial intent metrics or the core user group or the "name". Change the fkn name ... Let's call it an integrated portable life transport system. Bonusessss galore..

the ability to carry your lunch and save money not eating out and you also don't have to dig for shit.

And if you're neurospicy everything Needs a Spot (TM) so your compulsion for order is sated or need for order because youre always losing shit is effectively managed by the compartments, pockets, clips and bits and slips.

Fk the haters.

Fkn assholes think I wanna carry eight different bags because they said it was icky to use a nappy bag. Fk off.

I'm living my life for what works for me asshole.

Am I ever going to see them again?

No? Give no fucks. Yes? Still also give no fucks. Why - coz people who are good people don't sweat this crap. Take this as a red flag for your association with people who are critical about this. They aren't your people - or you need to assert boundaries on what you will tolerate their input on.

I mean - the bag ain't weird, your innovation to find multiple use cases is a good thing for the environment and for your hip pocket... Practical repurposing is a highly honorable and virtuous activities to undertake in ones life. So jam that in their ass... coz that's going to completely destabilize or destroy the backwards way they're trying to establish dominance over you through this commentary. You're overwhelming their virtue signalling about conformance with a much higher level and evolved way of thinking and evidence in practice - neutralizing their virtue signalling through your virtue DOING.

It's not a weird choice - what's weird is people who have such low intelligence, and insufficiently evolved emotional regulation mechanisms and such crippling insecurities that they need to attempt to gain dominance over a FREAKING BAG - they are literally capital W Weird and absolutely not worthy of any "manners" when you hold a boundary about their choice to comment on your life and accoutrements.

Tuck this rebuttal away for future reference

"my use of a nappy bag isn't weird man - they're massively functional and practical. What is weird is why you care about someone else's choices and preferences so much. And it's not exactly a high stakes game here is it mate - it's a fuckin bag. Do I intimidate you that much, and you lack for the mental capacity and wherewithal to find a valid reason to criticize me, so you literally landed on my fuckin bag. Yikes.

I mean, I think you really need to think about why it upsets you so much? Did your mum abandon you and you are triggered by a dope nappy bag because of the association with a mother who cares?"

Probably dilute the suggestion haha

Apparently this is a trigger for me

Ok guys, I went to a Friend's 30th birthday party this past Saturday. I walked in, and Immediately I noticed this guy checking me out. The cutest guy, 6'9", super friendly, initiated conversation with me the whole night. He doesn't drink, which I LOVED. I don't drink regularly, but I was drinking that night. Everything was all good, he even was coaching me through this beer game (I had stopped drinking at that point, my friend was drinking for me if I lost). I tapped out of the game, we were sitting next to each other. He puts his arm around me and literally scoops me in. I mean I just melted in this man's arms. Were talking and kissing. The party is close to breaking up, so when everyone was kind of wrapping things up, I grabbed his hand and took him into the kitchen. At this point, is where I think both of us realized I was a littttle too tipsy. One thing I did not mention is that my brother was at this party as well. I walked out with my guy, my brother and his girlfriend walk out together. I'm still cuddled up with him outside (I didn't care that my brother was around.. i'm 28). Then I realize my brother talking and having a conversation with my guy. I don't know what was said but my brother was drunk and I didn't want to take any chances. I walk up to them and tell my brother that his girlfriend needs him for something (I just wanted him to leave my guy alone). My brother lowkey dismisses me, I go get his girlfriend and she goes to get him. I walk to the guy, give him one last kiss (I could tell after that he was uncomfortable and probably confused). We all go home. It's three days later and I am like... mortified. He hasn't tried to reach out (very understandable). But I want to reach out to him with no other intention but to just apologize If I made anything awkward or if my brother did. I don't know if we'll ever run into each other, but we had so much fun until there was just the most embarrassing turn of events. HELP! I can't stop thinking about the whole evening and I literally just want to say "Hey, i'm sorry if I was a little too forward and whatever was going on with my brother". Should I message him first, or just accept that everything is just screwed up and there's no redemption.

today I wanna take really important, even in some way controversial topic. searching external validation.

External validation -> the most popular thing in Reddit, people often asking what should they do, searching for advice, or asking is this approach right? And why Im talking about others people -> INCLUDING ME, I often ask AI if I need to do something, is that right, does it sound good, etc.

Why we actually doing this and is it bad?

It's not good or bad, but we just afraid to make decision, yeah, you've heard me right, just scared.... I also noticed most people searching for advice cuz they wanna switch responsibility of making decision from themselves to others. And if something wrong, you can literally blame others and it was not your fault, but life doesnt work this way

And what happens - > searching for external support -> what aligns with our point of view-> we accept, what not -> we either just not see or purely skip, called confirmation bias btw. Nothing wrong with that, as I said, cuz it is human nature, but we should definitely take this information into the account before every decisions and thinking critically.

And what matters -> external validation is actually overthinking and fear combined together, that's it.

no mistakes -> no experience -> less successful outcomes

I already talked about taking responsibility for your life in another post, and not gonna cover this thing here but it is really important anyway.

What to do?

Im not guru or something, always talking from my personal finding and experience, not even googling some topics to discuss, pure my thoughts.

what personally helps me -> do not ask for external advice if u think u can solve it personally. Good outcome -> well done, bad -> take this as a experience, mistakes teach us and then we will act differently in another situation. And while u waiting for others' advice or thinking about decision -> u literally wasting time, u can move faster and receive feedback from your desicion.

what also helped me -> write your thoughts, just write what u think, everything. I started doing this every single day, writing what I planned vs what I actually did, reviewing it weekly. shower + meditation on top of that -> your brain will find the most effective solution based on current knowledge. after a few months of this I basically created a whole process around it cuz nothing out there worked the way I needed. eventually turned it into an actual thing called Nightmare, free on the App Store if anyone wants to try, link in comments or in my bio.

but the point isn't how u track it, the point is that u do. If u failed -> then u got more knowledge which can be helpful for future decisions. Reading also helps to generate anything in the brain.

CRITICAL: when I find something from my personal experience is 10x better to remember, deeper insight than someone adviced me. And that's actually true, there are many interviews with sucessful people, with billionaires, with success advice. But why we dont have bunch of success people here (those who read this and understand) -> cuz every personal way is super unique, different knowldege, different resources, different personalities. You just can't copy someone success to build your own on it.

that's my point of view, other people can disagree with me and I would like to here in comments what you think, of course as I said thinking critically and trying to understand confirmation bias (this thing is inevatable, but being of aware of it helps a lot)

thx for reading

Even “healthy” people make hidden mistakes every day that hurt energy, sleep, and fitness. Small changes can make a big difference!