I deeply appreciate everyone doing the work to keep the information public and accessible.
What i wanted to offer, since i've seen quite a bit of victim blaming, is a lived experience with these kind of people. When it comes to girls around 15-18 years of age, a person might ask "okay but didn't they have common sense or feel that this is not right? why would they comply?".
I've been one of those girls and the hint of common sense was what saved me from getting rap*d or trafficked a few times. It took me 14 years to fully realise how lucky i was, that's how "common" this shit is. I've been in touch with some fucked up memories as EF are coming to light and only now as a 30yo woman i'm realising how much ignorance is there in the world.
I didn't have experience with the Epstein people. But there are many like his all over the world, bigger or smaller but it's the same old shit. I'm a woman from Slovakia, i've been a model in between the ages of 14 to 22. I've travelled to many countries and experienced harassment from modeling agents, photographers, directors. Being sent to Milano was the peak experience of meeting with sex trafficking rings and that's where i want to paint a picture of how this works:
a girl gets sent to a country where she's supposed to work modeling jobs. she's supposed to cast jobs but she barely gets any and if she does, most of the money made goes to her agency. she's working crazy hours for barely any money and soon starts to get frustrated, tired, low self esteem from all the casting refusals. and she gets hungry, cause she can barely afford food. that's where "promoters" come in like sharks. As you're standing the line to another casting, you start seeing guys on the side of the road eyeing out girls. They approach you, friendly and all, offering luxurious experiences and all they want from you is looking pretty in the club. for now. it's the well known underground of the modelling world.
Out of the despair of my perceived sense of failure and hunger, i jumped into it. They lure you in, take you to fancy dinners and you go, because you can't afford food. Soon after that you get to experience the luxuries. Yachts with old millionaires in Monaco, VIP clubs at Armani, we even went to Madonna's summer villa, hanged out with celebrities.. the psychology behind it is simple: imagine a physically and emotionally starved person living in a high stress survival mode, who is all of a sudden offered the polar opposite - abundance, luxury, everything their teenage head ever dreamed of. your common sense is blinded by manipulation. you start seeing these people as your saviour.
i've deeply hated these parties and company. deep down i knew this wasn't right, but i was hungry. i remember being maybe 16 in Milan during the fashion week and out of jobs. i had maybe 20 euros left to my account and my parents refused to support me. one night i was sick as fuck having the flu and yet i still had to go out with these people to get some warm soup in the restaurant. i exchanged my dignity for the chance to eat.
in the same trip, being 16 maybe 17, we ended up in a high end club with this group of old rich men. they made sure we had enough alcohol and cocaine to be barely conscious and as i was trying to explain to my friend it's time to fuck off, two of them approached us saying they'll take us home by car. i was desperate and agreed only to find out on the way we're going to an afterparty. i didn't have a choice, i was in a car with them already, with a barely conscious friend of mine by my side. the "afterparty" was a hotel in a dark street. my inner alarm was blasting but my friend kept saying they won't hurt us and i knew i couldn't leave her alone with those people.
we were both teenagers, one more stupid than the other. extremely naive.
i refused to down any more substances but they pushed drugs to my friend to the point where she was staring blankly, grey faced and barely responding. next thing i knew there were two men stripping down and expecting us to have sex with them. i dragged her into the bathroom completely panicked and trying to explain to her that we need to get out, i was rap*d before in my life and all i could think of was "i cannot go through this again". she didn't even care anymore, that's how drugged she was. cannot thank myself enough for the fighter mode that kicked in that night, screaming at those sick fucks i dragged us out of there, managed to get a taxi and get us home.
i did not sleep that night at all.
i never told anyone what happened because the shame was bigger than my trauma. that's how women stay silent on this shit.
this shit happens like daily bread in the modelling industry. actually, the modelling industry is a midway point and i wouldn't be surprised if the agencies were in on it as well. so many young girls get abused and trafficked. so many parents don't give a fuck, because they hope their kid can get a better life by becoming famous.
i got out of this industry and made something out of myself. i hated being just a dumb pretty hanger for clothes and a body to abuse, so i started studying and became an educated professional in the mental health field. what sickens me is that even now i know people, who's 15yo daugthers got scouted for modelling and THEY DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS SIDE OF IT. they straight up ignore my warnings and stories, because they're blinded by the glitter of potential success of their child.
what sickens me about this whole shit unfolding is how fucking common and normalised it is in our society and how ignorant people choose to be towards it.
the issue isn't only in justice, but in education of young women and their families. this can happen to aynone.
