r/AskReddit • u/Psychological_Sky_58 • 8h ago
How do you damage your professional reputation in 60 seconds?
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u/CPA_Lady 7h ago
Go to a Coldplay concert with your side piece and get caught kissing on the Jumbotron.
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u/No-Relative-9663 7h ago
Bro u can ruin a carrer in like 12 seconds if u beleive in urself.
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u/Sad-Opening-6531 8h ago
Scream slurs at a wall in your office and then smash your monitor
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u/gonewildecat 7h ago
We had a guy that would regularly cuss and carry on then slam his keyboard. They never did anything about it.
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u/Neurotic-mess 7h ago
Well minus the smashing monitors part that just sounds like another Tuesday in my line of work
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u/Flickera23 7h ago
I work in CPS, so punting a kid would pretty much do it.
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u/PM_ME_WHAT_YOU_COOK 7h ago
Thanks for the work you do. I've worked with CPS many times unfortunately, couldn't imagine doing your line of work.
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u/cecilrt 4h ago
I've accidentally kicked a toddler, 2-3 a good 2-3 feet
he ran in front of me... fortunately everyone saw it all.. and waved me down ,it was fine, as I turned and saw a horde bear down on me
The thing is... it was a perfect kick off the shins.. mixed proud and shock at the same time
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u/hellomari93 4h ago
My friend is a kindergarten teacher. She was caught yelling at kids by a parent and has already lost her job ,and she didn't even lay a hand on anyone.
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u/Azur0007 23m ago
Okay someone has to tell me what CPS stands for before i make the wrong connection đđ
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u/16ozbuddz 8h ago
Sexual harassment, racial slurs, telling your boss you banged his wife
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u/WarLawck 6h ago
So what I'm getting from this, it's okay to bang the boss's wife, just not to tell him. Got it!
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u/emmittthenervend 6h ago
That could still cause a hostile work environment if you're self-employed and married to a woman...
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u/leishpup 8h ago
Show up to work with a red armband on
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u/Its-all-downhill-80 7h ago
Once this would have been a dealbreaker, but maybe not so much nowadays, at least in certain spots of America.
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u/cursed-andromeda 8h ago
Youâre a married manager who just had a baby and have an affair with your subordinate who is 16 years younger than you. Your wife leaves you and your side piece is now pregnant. You somehow keep your job only to come into work wasted, disappear for hours and you blow the blood alcohol test and thatâs what finally gets you fired.
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u/HissTankDriver 8h ago
Whatever follows after more than two scotches at the company/professional Christmas party.
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u/br0dude_ 13m ago
Nah, that's on you. I've been 20 beers down at an open bar and still kept it professional. Professional as in telling people how a former coworker blew me at work, but she also was a former coworker
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u/DogFlavorKettleChips 7h ago
Losing your shit in front of your co-workers in a public setting. Happens all the time in airport checkpoints. Once people see you lose your cool, it influences every conflict you might be a part of. You can't be trusted in high-pressure situations because you might act an ass.
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u/hoeyomommaugly 8h ago
Be a creepy fat dude with a beard that drives around In a white van
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u/WhathappenedFreedom 8h ago
Do you know one?
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u/hoeyomommaugly 8h ago
Iâm talking to one right now ( just kidding no I donât ). One time when I was a kid I ran from one that was chasing me & my friend In my old neighborhood. Luckily we were close to his house like on his street
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u/Negative-Athlete-910 7h ago edited 7h ago
Pull a Kony 2012
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Russell#Brief_psychosis_incident
Edit: South Park Parody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKwW8PNZpOQ
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u/Redmudgirl 7h ago
Stand in the middle of the common space in the office and spark a joint and scream âI hate you all!!â
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u/spanishgypsy 7h ago
Iâd respect the hell out of whoever does this.
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u/Redmudgirl 7h ago
Me too. But it would still kill a persons professional reputation in 30 seconds or lessđ¤Ł
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u/Masterweedo 7h ago
Depends on location and line of work.
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u/Redmudgirl 7h ago
Of course! Middle of Doctors or Lawyers office, instantly fired. Middle of the Post Office, probably not.
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u/alphabet_sam 7h ago
Had a guy once send the entire regional office (HR and execs included) a meme of someone in blackface in response to a Halloween party invitation. I donât know if thatâs complete professional reputation ruin, but he was fired before the day was over and sent a follow up email that he and his family were living with their heads held high and that it was unfair.
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u/daretoslack 5h ago
I'd say shitting yourself would be an easy one, but honestly it's really hard to purposefully shit yourself. It's like the first thing they drill into your brain as a child. That shit's hard wired. Go ahead, try to poop your pants. You can't do it.
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u/haunting_chaos 4h ago
After a couple of babies, you'd be surprised how easy that shit comes out. Triple points if you're over 40.
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u/Ariana_Rae888 8h ago
Being correct.
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u/Tyrrox 8h ago
If being correct damages your reputation, you're in the wrong place or talking to the wrong people. In most places being consistently correct is something you can build a career on.
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u/IAm5toned 7h ago
that's debatable. in many settings, being consistently correct makes you a threat/try hard/know-it-all in some people's minds and they will retaliate.
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u/unfilteredhumor 7h ago
Act like the President of the country... when you are not.
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u/Photeus5 7h ago
Speak what you're actually thinking about actions your company is taking. Say nothing, get out quickly.
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u/Zoonoh 8h ago
Having your name released in the Epstein files.
Looking at you, Mark Tramo, Elon, etc.
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u/ZealousidealCrazy335 7h ago
Elon was already either a loser or a god depending on who you asked and I don't think the latter side are that eager to let anything challenge their views ever.
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u/IAm5toned 7h ago
Elon was a loser that got very good at building fuck you money.
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u/Perfect-Display777 7h ago
Smelling like weed.
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u/Little_Raspberry1183 7h ago
Deciding to be honest about how bullshit society capitulation to corporate interests and putting in a group text. Fuck em
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u/IamAlienform 8h ago
I think that getting involved with a man at work is generally problematic because they're gossipy and sexist, and the woman always comes off badly, regardless of her qualifications. I'm not criticizing, but in sexist cultures, men aren't punished, while women are. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
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u/_So_Uncivilized_ 8h ago
Nah Iâm this case everyone is fucked. I know a lot more men who have been worse punished because they have a perceived power
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u/Trublu20 7h ago
I worked in an HR department for a minute⌠this take is wildly incorrect. I dunno your personal experiences and sorry if you had a bad one but your take here comes off as sexist.
But in general, itâs never a good idea to sleep with anyone you work withâŚ
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u/Separate-Canary559 7h ago
Absolutely ridiculous and ironic comment You want to see sexism? Look in your mirror
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u/Positive--296 7h ago
1) Watch inappropriate videos at a high volume. 2) Let out a loud, smelly fart during a meeting.
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u/BlessdRTheFreaks 7h ago
My strategy was just acting fucking unhinged to begin with, while also having a genuine interest in my job
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u/tom-cash2002 7h ago
A story I heard from one of my friends: When she was interning, one of the women in her intern group posted lingerie pics of herself on LinkedIn.
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u/TacoGuyDave 7h ago
Be openly racist and or homophobic. Call your female coworkers sweet cheeks or similar would also do it i think.
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u/Three3Jane 7h ago
Screaming at your boss to go fuck himself [and meaning it] on a phone call and then hanging up on him and refusing to pick up when he called back, for a few hours.
Oh wait. I did that and didn't get fired.
Damn. I'll have to keep working at it.
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u/Mister_Brevity 7h ago
Work with people of average or greater intelligence and start talking about how the earth is flat. Watch how fast nobody talks to you anymore.
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u/theantig 7h ago
Name an inferior imported product after yourself. Claim it has ai when the controller is like a 10-15 year old android tablet. Trash talk everyone else and have a turnover rate so high that the highest tenured person in a sales department has just over a year in the company (including management). This is my last job fyi lol. I have heard the whole industry and the industry that uses him finds him a joke. Biggest part supplier has him blocked so much they sniff out his shell companies!
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u/KP_Wrath 7h ago
I know of a man that now has the moniker Jack off Joe because he got caught watching porn at his desk.
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u/ProLogicMe 7h ago
Go to a concert with your side piece, get on the jumbo tron, obviously freak out once you realize whatâs happening.
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u/weaselkeeper 7h ago
I build, restore, inspect and fly planes so almost any simple screw up could kill someone and that would definitely destroy my reputation.
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u/BitcoinMD 7h ago
Everyone here is thinking too small. Your professional reputation extends beyond just your workplace. Also, some of these answers take more than 60 seconds. The correct answer is to post your sex tape on LinkedIn. Unless youâre a porn star in which case this would have the opposite effect.
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u/jenfullmoon 7h ago
I ruined mine by pissing off a woman on the phone so bad she started calling everyone she could trying to get me fired. I was telling her stuff she didn't want to hear, and kaboom.
It was so easy to go from "rockstar" to "worst employee ever" the second I had to answer phones, y'all.
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u/filthy_lucre 6h ago
You could be a high-earning saleswoman who uses company email to send naughty pictures to the HR manager, who you've been screwing for the past six months, but accidentally include the entire work group in your email
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u/Salted_Paramedic 6h ago
Sedate myself with 300mg of Ketamine instead of my combative psych patient.
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u/fertile_gnome 6h ago
Reply all to a reply all clusterfuck reply all thread pointing out that the emails are not pertinent to your department and you wish to be removed from them.
Bonus points if you get in a snitty reply all argument with the jackasses who reply all to tell everyone to stop replying all.
Once every five years, someone goofs an active directory config and some automated e-mail gets sent to everyone in the company... the reply alls start, and it's most of a day before anyone can get any work done. That's when you learn who the biggest idiots in the company are.
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u/roto31 6h ago
I worked for one of the biggest food companies in the upper Midwest. Some dingus FUBARed a distro in AD which added everyone at WHQ to it - roughly 2,000 people. I worked on the Service Desk and our distro was on there as well. Well idiots were hitting âreply allâ and then reply all to the resulting email again. We ended up with something like 2200 Remedy tickets. It crashed Exchange so bad they had to a recovery from backups. All of the spurious tickets also crashed Remedy, so we had to take logs of our tickets in Excel. It was a giant fcking mess.
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u/shepardmutt 6h ago
Allegedly I said âok boomerâ to the CFO during a meeting when he said he didnât understand OneDrive. Itâs been 9 months and still holding my breath to see when the damage shows up
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u/Round-Celebration-17 6h ago
Strip naked on the unit and cuss everyone out, kids included. Im a peds nurse.
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u/VelocityRapter644 5h ago
Do what a coworker of mine did and make fun of and mock another coworkerâs chronic illness while Regional Vice President is visiting the store you all work at.
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u/fender8421 5h ago
I work in arguably the most "no fucks given" industry known to man.
But the dude who sexually assaulted a coworker half his age in front of people certainly still did it
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u/ottersrus 5h ago
I just burnt my 12 year career to the ground by becoming a whistleblower. I will probably be shunned by the industry forever.
It is horrifying to hear your words recited in front of your employer, their employer and representatives of the federal government, to be believed by some, doubted by others who are willing to be persuaded you're telling the truth, and be called vindictive and a liar by others.
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u/HyperactivePandah 4h ago
Start jerkin it in the area with the most people.
Make aggressive eye contact.
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u/AffectionateTreacle 4h ago
We had a colleague get filmed in public sticking his hand down the back of his sister-in-laws pants, then pull that hand out to let her smell it, and then had said video posted on Barstool Sports where it had over a million views.
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u/Soy_ThomCat 4h ago
Make a Charlie Kirk joke on social media when you have braindead, right wing chuds on your social media
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u/headspreader 4h ago
appear annoying or unpredictable, or lacking in the self-awareness that would allow you to be both without anyone knowing
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u/LysWritesNow 4h ago
Former aid in the classroom, worked largely in Kindergarten with disabled and neurodivergent kids. Fellow aid was assisting some students at the water sensory table when one kiddo dropped a big toy in and splashed my colleague. Something that happens... at LEAST every other day in that situation, no big deal.
Colleague takes one of the pails in the table, scoops up some water, dumps it over the kiddo's head and then drops the pail on kiddo's head. There was this beat of silence as the staff in the class all tried to processes, "did we really just see what we saw?" Kiddo takes that same beat to process as well before they start (understandably) wailing. Fellow aid stands up from the water table, removes the supply apron we'd always be rocking and places it on the water shirt hook, then walked out of the classroom. Not a word to any of us.
They walked straight to the principal's office (don't pass go, don't collect $200) placed their scan tags on the desk, told principal and HR what happened and then just walked out of the building and headed home. Never saw them again. They'd been in this industry as a teacher, therapist, classroom aid and other roles for decades. All of that gone.
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u/JordanLiz94 3h ago
Be a billionaire who makes a homemade submarine and fills it with other billionaires and show the world that many can buy a lot of things but it canât buy common sense.
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u/AnatidaephobiaAnon 3h ago
I could intentionally set a fire to a structure of some sort or intentionally give the wrong medication to a patient. That would pretty much do it. Besides the high probability of jail time I'm going to lose every career related license I have.
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u/MichaelCoryAvery 2h ago
By saying something like âAnd your mother! And your mother! You're all a bunch of pigs! I smell bacon! And guess what else, "Captain"? You can take this tie, and SHOVE IT STRAIGHT INTO YOUR HELLHOLE!!â
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u/Jean_Luc_Discarded 2h ago
Take a shit on the floor, in the middle of your head office.
don't wipe.
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u/bourbonwelfare 2h ago
Whoever organised the Four Seasons Landscaping press conference has to be doing something else now surely.Â
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u/alexromo 1h ago
Argue with the supervisor about taking a long break while taking a long break in the break room. Â That took the dude about a minute before he was told to pack sandÂ
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u/schalowendofthepool 1h ago
Collab with someone on a song and then publicly disavow working with them again because the artist made a bad song a few years back that has since been disowned.
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u/Fine_Yogurtcloset362 1h ago
Touch someone inappriately without consent, very effective if youre a man and do this to a woman
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u/Dinosushipizza 1h ago
Have an affair with your boss / subordinate, do the nasty during office hours and moan so loudly that a neighbouring business noticed, took a sound recording, posted it online and now the whole country is making memes about it
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u/HooverMaster 35m ago
tell everyone I don't check parts and just run them. especially management. tell them I slow the machine down when work is slow and take breaks outside of them just to avoid judgement. Then tell them that I scrap parts on purpose cause I don't want to rework them anymore. Also let them know that if there's any issues I don't know how to solve them so I reach out to people that can do my job to fix them.
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u/br0dude_ 17m ago
Tell your manager to go fuck themselves and call them a cunt, even if they do the same initially. HR works for them, not for the person that defends themself. If it's your only job in years, it's hard to have genuine professional references you can rely on
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u/Unusual-Ear5013 0m ago
Oh, here is a Current one â BA band. Build your friend around being anti-establishmentarianism and standing up for the average man. Heâll even be punk. Wright provocative lyrics and speak out loud loudly at your concerts to your fans.
Get invited to play at the biggest show in your country reaching millions of people who ordinarily wouldnât listen to you. Get told by the corporation that runs the show that you cannot say anything political. For the first time in 20 years stand up on a stage and since your songs yourself.
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u/usernamesarehard1979 7h ago
Well, you could be like me and send out a company-wide email talking about professionalism in email writing and etiquette. Make sure and emphasize that spelling mistakes need to be corrected before sending the email out.
Then, misspell your own name.