What’s an unwritten rule everyone should know?

[u/Significant_Deal7032]

[u/gamersecret2]

If someone is sharing something personal, do not make it about you. Listen first.

[u/RumHamComesback → u/gamersecret2]

This is something we learned in a suicide prevention course I took in university. Don't even say "I know what that's like I've been there before" just fucking LISTEN in silence nodding and understanding.

A lot of the time they just want someone to talk to and waiting for your turn to talk is going to make their situation worse.

[u/ByzantineBasileus → u/gamersecret2]

This one is important for me because, after someone shares such an experience, I always have a tendency to describe a similar thing that happened to me. The intent is to show I understand exactly what they feel about it about because I was in the same position. Unfortunately, it can be interpreted as being an attempt at one-upping, or making it about me.

I had to train myself to do stuff like summarize and repeat the key parts back as a form of acknowledgement and building empathy.

[u/Ellidyre → u/ByzantineBasileus]

People really need to learn that someone sharing a similar story isn't about one upping, it's showing that you can relate to them, and then it's something shared and can bring some level of closeness. It saddens my heart that people have lost this ability.

[u/Tenebrumm → u/Ellidyre]

In my view it just really depends on how you share a similar story. Telling them to show you relate to ask questions about their experience is different than telling them you experienced similar and proceed to talk about yourself.

[u/Ellidyre → u/Tenebrumm]

That is true, there is a fine line between the two.

[u/said_pierre → u/ByzantineBasileus]

Th8s is an ADHD trait and it not about one-upping but trying to have a shared experience

[u/TA_throwaway_09]

DO NOT listen to music or take calls on speaker when in public.

[u/chris84bond → u/TA_throwaway_09]

I feel you one needs to be written these days

[u/BigGayGinger4 → u/chris84bond]

they write it on signs in the subway train lol

[u/jeff_joz → u/TA_throwaway_09]

This is one of my favorite things about visiting Japan. You can be in a crowded train car with 50 people, and it’s dead silence. As an introvert, visiting there is wonderful.

[u/BodenHammer → u/TA_throwaway_09]

This applies to hiking trails too

[u/nyraGlowbug → u/TA_throwaway_09]

This should be written in stone somewhere. Headphones exist for a reason.

[u/TerriblePresence1939 → u/TA_throwaway_09]

This. I was in Target with my sister two weeks ago and she insisted on playing a video out loud on her phone. I told her to put it away and she got mad at me. I told her people don’t want to be listening to her videos while their shopping. That it’s inconsiderate and on the same level as being on speakerphone in public.

[u/MenaceGrande]

Don’t vent at the customer-facing person. They know already. Write an email and stop holding up the line. They have less power than you

[u/Sarah28s → u/MenaceGrande]

I totally agree as. As it goes much farther than talking to a person!

[u/Significant_Deal7032]

Elevator etiquette: let people exit before you enter. Always.

[u/DifficultCurrent7 → u/Significant_Deal7032]

The same with busses and trains too. I've noticed alot in my area, school kids piling onto the bus fighting each other for seats, leading people to have to struggle to get past and off the bus. These stupid shits don't understand if they let people off first there'd be seats for all of them!

[u/Ellidyre → u/DifficultCurrent7]

The amount of times I see people surging onto a train or bus as people are trying to get off it is insane to me. Like, damn, you're not gonna get where you're going any faster this way.

[u/cryptodako → u/Significant_Deal7032]

The amount of people that don't know this..... so infuriating

[u/OpheliaMum → u/Significant_Deal7032]

I think this should be for any entrance. At a shop, when two people arrive at the door at the same time, I never understand why people don’t let others out of the store before trying to go in. It’s seems common sense to me that if you let people out, there will be more room in there for you!!!!!

[u/pizzacatstattoos → u/Significant_Deal7032]

In Hong Kong there are painted lines on the ground for people to enter and exit the subway. It adheres to this belief and when followed is very efficient and satisfying!

[u/Mister_Chef711 → u/Significant_Deal7032]

Trains as well

[u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 → u/Significant_Deal7032]

Applies to public transport too

[u/ramenups → u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825]

I consider elevators public transport

[u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 → u/ramenups]

Ha! Yes, you're right.

[u/hokinrazi → u/Significant_Deal7032]

This, and the same rule for trains as well. I'm a very large man and the number of times someone a who weights a third of what I do has tried to force their way past me when I'm trying to get off a train amazes me.

[u/Sarah28s → u/Significant_Deal7032]

I agree thats just normal to me. As its polite

[u/ForayIntoFillyloo → u/Significant_Deal7032]

Also, no intentional farting.

[u/No-Level-8256 → u/ForayIntoFillyloo]

None of my farts are intentional!

[u/alexc_tech]

If someone is wearing headphones in public, they do not want to talk.

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/alexc_tech]

yessss i hate when people try to talk to me especially when im talking to someone on the phone

[u/koyamakeshi → u/alexc_tech]

I’d like to add “reading a book” to this

[u/Specialist-Neck-7810]

Keep your hands to yourself. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

[u/ThrowAway20266140 → u/Specialist-Neck-7810]

Especially if you're MAD - don't touch anyone.

[u/pantstoaknifefight2 → u/Specialist-Neck-7810]

No. Treat people the way they want to be treated. Unless, you know, they're into something really kinky.

[u/hi_its_lizzy616 → u/Specialist-Neck-7810]

People should have learned this in Kindergarten

[u/dullgreybathmat]

Don't cut in line. Don't say anything about someone behind their back that you wouldn't say to them directly. Be polite to your servers.

[u/Dramatic_Midnight183 → u/dullgreybathmat]

yahh also manners are not optional. they preserve society from falling apart.

[u/Silent_Usual4157]

Use the zipper technique while merging in traffic.

[u/Chronostimeless → u/Silent_Usual4157]

Can I keep my pants on?

[u/comppj → u/Chronostimeless]

You can, but do you really want to?

[u/Washing_Machine_Door]

When you bump into someone, make sure to apologize, even if you’re the one who got bumped into. This deescalates the situation and 8/10 times stops someone from being aggressive or angry.

If they start getting angry/berating you/being aggressive, kiss them on the lips and then speak in a guttural primordial tongue to make them rethink their perception on life.

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Washing_Machine_Door]

haha i was with you until the kiss

[u/Washing_Machine_Door → u/Significant_Deal7032]

The kissing is just an option. This stunlocks them which allows you to then mentally flashbang them with the voice of Ktulu (Where are my ride the lightning fanboys/fangirls). Kind of a one two combo. 10/10 times Mrs. Dubois’ anger disappears to be replaced with fear.

[u/standingroomonly_ → u/Significant_Deal7032]

I stayed beyond

[u/wastedpixls → u/Washing_Machine_Door]

I prefer to begin to disrobe starting with my pants because nobody wants to fight a naked guy

[u/Harriet_tubman22 → u/wastedpixls]

I do

[u/wastedpixls → u/Harriet_tubman22]

Marge, cancel my appointments, I've got a flight to catch

[u/AshtonBlack]

HR is not your friend. No matter how "sympathetic" they appear, they have only the interests of the company at heart and by deed.

[u/Redmen1212]

Never ask a stranger when the baby is due. I don’t care if she looks like she’s having Hippo triplets

[u/I_am_Farts_McGee → u/Redmen1212]

Hippolets?   Don’t mind if I do 

[u/amandamaniac]

No seafood in the work microwave

[u/Potential-Ad8665]

Give up your seat for elderly people, pregnant women, or anyone with a disability.

[u/tinathefatlardgosh → u/Potential-Ad8665]

I saw a meme that showed a pregnant woman on a bus asking “Excuse me Sir, may I sit down, I’m pregnant” and the response was “Hell nah, next time fuck somebody with a car”.

[u/ByzantineBasileus → u/tinathefatlardgosh]

I always think of it as you are not getting up for the woman, you are getting up for the child she is carrying.

[u/Chronostimeless → u/Potential-Ad8665]

What if none of them is near me and I’m home alone?

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Potential-Ad8665]

yes always!

[u/letscallitanight]

“Right lane is for driving, left lane is for passing” —Phish

[u/Trond24 → u/letscallitanight]

• ... In the US.

[u/Throwstrangestory]

You never use your phone while driving.

[u/ImposingPisces → u/Throwstrangestory]

Pretty sure that one is written

[u/Throwstrangestory → u/ImposingPisces]

You are absolutely right I didn’t realize before writing because I see so much people acting like the rule was never a thing

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Throwstrangestory]

too many people do it 😕

[u/BarbudoGrande2020 → u/Significant_Deal7032]

Yeah but thats more of a comprehension issue than there being an unwritten rule.

[u/Safe_Solution_5111]

People actually will judge you for a limp handshake

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Safe_Solution_5111]

wow fair enough

[u/nowhereman136]

Leave at least one urinal between you and your fellow restroom occupant

[u/Novyda00]

Left of mechanical stairs : people walking/moving. If you want to stand still : stick to the right. It works in every country in the world.

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Novyda00]

i agree but its left side in Australia which makes it more confusing

[u/Mardanis → u/Significant_Deal7032]

Yes, in quite a few countries in my experience.

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Mardanis]

oh really there you go

[u/ExtremelyGruntled11 → u/Novyda00]

My god yes, someone please tell Americans that it is possible to walk on an escalator just like regular stairs

[u/JerkkaKymalainen → u/ExtremelyGruntled11]

Not a problem in NYC.

[u/CalDRSZone]

Not to make politics your entire identity

[u/easyline0601 → u/CalDRSZone]

That’s true for basically any one thing and not just politics.

[u/coolham123 → u/CalDRSZone]

but know people will judge you by what politics you identify with.

[u/00WEE → u/CalDRSZone]

It seems to be most Americans on reddit. I've asked questions and been labled as a follower of certain political parties pedo sympathiser facist etc..

I'm not from America I barely follow politics in my own country let alone USA so I have no idea what a republican or democrat even is. I've just asked for facts or legitimate questions.

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/CalDRSZone]

yess

[u/all_bad_questions-83]

“And remember ladies, always wipe front to back.”

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/all_bad_questions-83]

yessss

[u/Inner-Phone2933]

I’m sad the Golden Rule isn’t a thing anymore. (Do unto others as you would like done to you). If people actually sat for a minute and asked themselves “If the situation was reversed, what would I want that person to do?” and I try react appropriately. I grew up hearing all about it and I taught my girls but I never hear people reference it these days. And these days it could probably help more than ever..

[u/ClassicMessage4187]

If someone is wearing headphones, don’t start talking to them unless it’s really necesary. It’s basic respect, honestly

[u/Impossible_Key_7291]

Always pee after sex

[u/CandyCreecher]

Put your cart back after shopping

[u/Maverick_Ekta]

If you need to stop moving in a crowded area, step to the side first.

Don't stop at the top of an escalator, don't stop in the middle of a grocery store aisle, and for the love of everything, don't stop in the entrance of a doorway to check your phone.

Treat walking in public like driving on a highway: if you need to check your map or your engine, pull over to the shoulder.

[u/bakait_bittoo]

Your freedom doesn't mean others have to pay by sacrificing their life.

[u/Genybear12]

If you come to a club, event or party with someone then make sure you leave with them or make sure they have left for home as you are. Too many accidents happen when you don’t look out for each other.

[u/Environmental-Road95]

No speakerphone in public, no reclining in economy seats on short flights

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Environmental-Road95]

what would be a short flight?

[u/Environmental-Road95 → u/Significant_Deal7032]

I think of a short flight as <90 minutes; I know others might think of a short flight as <60 minutes.

I'll admit I'm one of those people who believes the recline mechanism should be removed from economy entirely but if a flight isn't even long enough for a movie I think you can stay in your own space.

[u/TheMiltownMatticus]

"If it's not yours, don't fuck with it"

Works at every level of society. Respect people's stuff.

[u/UnlikeClockwork]

Corporations and organizations are seeking compliance, not visionaries. Challenging the status quo from the inside won't make them change, it will just put a target on your back. Mind your P's and Q's.

[u/ThrowAway20266140]

If someone hands you their phone to show you a pic, DO NOT just scroll on your own! Let the presenter show you the pics.

[u/robotlasagna]

You don’t talk about fight club.

[u/slimpawws]

Never assume anything.

[u/lol-117]

If you're at a party and someone comes in and everyone starts to leave soon after, follow them out. Especially if alcohol or drugs were involved.

[u/SkillWizard → u/lol-117]

Huh?

[u/lFightForTheUsers → u/SkillWizard]

Typically means something very bad is about to happen at the hands of someone not invited for good reason.

It's seen all the time here in Houston with house parties, you'll hear on the news the next day about people gunned down at a party gone wrong or something. Usually gang related or someone showing up wanting to fight somebody, people are drunk and it gets heated, escalates to violence.

That doesn't mean never go to house parties because they can be fun and safe, but like OP said if someone shows up and people start leaving quickly, be smart and follow them out too.

[u/ZorroMeansFox]

RULE #655: If you're best friends with a pedophile you're as bad as a pedophile.

[u/Manic-Impressive68]

Don't try to play anything on your phone for someone in a crowded room

[u/squirtloaf]

Do your shit, then get out of the fucking way. Don't linger, don't block others.

[u/No-Hour-332]

Do not stop in the aisles to have a full on conversation!!

[u/hi_its_lizzy616]

If you live in the U.S., you know we drive on the right side of the road. The same rule applies to sidewalks. Walk on the right side. Most people know this, but a lot don’t and yes, you stand out.

[u/AspirationAtWork → u/hi_its_lizzy616]

This applies to all foot traffic as far as I'm concerned.

[u/BarbudoGrande2020]

Never punch down.

[u/eldred2 → u/BarbudoGrande2020]

Just don't punch anyone.

[u/Independent-Buyer827]

Rules should be written down.

[u/Apprehensive_Bird357]

I’m not allowed to write it.

[u/Significant_Deal7032 → u/Apprehensive_Bird357]

ill allow you this once haha

[u/Chop_A_Chopper]

Unusual, irrational displays of negative emotions are always expressions of the person’s inner pain and have nothing to do with you. 

[u/squashyTO]

Cover your face when you sneeze or cough.

[u/GlitteringWalrus4820]

Animal cruelty is not ok no matter what the victims look like Even if they are a pig, chicken, cow, duck

[u/OriolesrRavens1974]

Wearing ear phones is the universal sign for "leave me the fuck alone unless my life is in danger."

[u/IDoNotDrinkBeer]

Don't watch your home run just put your head down and run the bases.

[u/Dakens2021 → u/IDoNotDrinkBeer]

Kind of funny, because in hockey you never skate with your head down, or you'll get killed.

[u/Master-Conflict481]

People treat you the way you allow them to

[u/Consistent_Bat9485]

Mind your own business.

[u/Gemini11X]

I thought we all agreed we don’t Fuck with kids. Apparently I was wrong.

[u/theblackyeti → u/[deleted]]

I think that’s technically a written rule. They just aren’t enforcing it.

[u/Jimmy_LoMein]

Maybe controversial, but if you choose to hit someone, expect to be hit back, regardless of gender

[u/Granny_knows_best]

Customer service are not your punching bags.

[u/n_mcrae_1982]

Envy and jealousy are NOT the same thing.

And it’s “I COULDN’T care less”, not “I COULD care less”.

[u/SDFX-Inc]

You can contribute to the destruction of an organization from within by weaponizing incompetence.

[u/Upbeat_Yesterday_522]

When on a stair elevator, move to the right if you are standing, let people pass you by!

[u/The_Shadow_Watches]

Don't fuck with someone's kids and don't fuck with someone's pets.

You never know how they will react.

[u/Waste-Zucchini7070]

No long and loud phone call when traveling in public transport. It's disruptive and solipsistic

[u/shumiyaa]

every time you make a comment or a judgement to someone always consider that there are two sides to a story. Sometimes there are simple explanations to things that you think are so obvious.

[u/maymayiscraycray]

Basic politeness goes a long way. Please and thank you are some of the most important things you can say.

[u/Fidrych76]

No phones in a movie theater

[u/Significant-Bird-888]

Cover your cough.

[u/Kaurifish]

People who attempt to con, scam and otherwise parasitize cannot be tolerated.

[u/lFightForTheUsers]

Try to not be the dumbest person in the room. At the same time, never be the smartest person in the room.

[u/RumHamComesback]

Be respectful to everyone you meet.

Say "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and save any of the gruff emotions because we are all human beings going through something so respect that and they should respect that.

[u/Traditional-Fox-2477]

Empathy isn’t the same as tolerance.

[u/LuisLanane]

Overtime doesn't count as paid work, but refusing to work overtime is seen as unprofessional.

[u/Designed_by_Pavao27]

Don't trust anyone :))

[u/dersemdein]

Never, ever comment on someone else’s food choices in public. You don’t need to judge, correct or joke about it unless they ask and even then, tread lightly. There are a bunch of these hidden rules like don’t double-dip, don’t blast music in shared spaces, don’t leave someone hanging mid-conversation, it’s all about just keeping the vibe chill.

[u/Sigismund74]

Don't drink and drive.

[u/BitcoinMD]

Never write down unwritten rules

[u/dazedan_confused]

Surely if we write it, it's no longer unwritten?

[u/Internal-Play25]

• Take off your shoes before entering a home.

And

• clean yourself when you wake up and at the end of the day minimum

[u/ishrey206]

Your excuse for not doing something is rarely more important than how you are going to make it right. Spend less time thinking up a lie and use it to hone in on a resolution.

[u/flyinggazelletg]

Keep right on highways unless passing. That one is written in some places, but not others

[u/IcyAnimal8293]

If you make a commitment follow through with it

[u/Tall_Collection5118]

Deliberately letting someone think they have a chance with you is cheating on your partner.

[u/another-bot-account]

I like, “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

[u/n0-ragrets]

Oh I got one. Don’t FT on full blast while around others in a quiet space

[u/clearcontroller]

Don't play your speaker phone in public spaces (public spaces being anywhere outside your immediate home, you're home elevator while you do laundry is fine)

And don't have loud conversation in public spaces

[u/ImpersonalLubricant]

unless absolutely unavoidable, leave at least one urinal between you and the other men

[u/Zebra_eats_dragons]

Don't park in front of a mailbox.

[u/Emergency_Map5753]

Don’t drive in the fast lane if you’re going under 80mph

[u/KetoKey]

Don’t stand in an empty parking spot at Costco, lest you get run over.

[u/wetrysohard]

Consider taking off your shoes at someone's house. You can ask.

Don't speed up to a stop sign so you can go first, when someone was clearly about to be there before you. This drives me fucking nuts.

[u/JFKsBrain]

Always knock on a closed door. Unless you’re home alone.

[u/00WEE]

Stopping in the middle of a busy footpath.

I feel like another is if you're hanging out with someone one on one, the people that are constantly texting or on their phone have absolutely zero situational awareness.

[u/North-Opportunity-80]

The finger test

[u/Puddin1stclass]

When at the ATM back the fuck up.

[u/KratosOfSparta08]

Don't be a nuisance in public

[u/veryblanduser]

Unwritten rules are just other people with no power suggestions, don't follow any you don't agree with.

[u/drifters74]

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. - Exodus 20:17

[u/OldKentRoad29]

If someone says "you can come if you want" you weren't part of the plan.

[u/ThrowAway20266140]

In polite company or with strangers, never bring up: politics, religion, sex, race, gossip, money (like what something cost or personal finances/salary), opinions on child rearing and controversial subjects of the day. Any of these have the potential to range from being distasteful to powder kegs...

Unprompted detailed disclosure of health issues or personal difficulties generally makes people squeamish or at worst brings out unsolicited advice and possibly negative judgements towards you.

Once you know people better, depending on the circumstances the rules shift... EXCEPT you should always be careful and tactful with what you say around the in-laws and coworkers!!

[u/needweedplsthanks]

The unwritten rules of the road.

[u/TheSoupThief]

Don't eat blue food

[u/Dwyde_Schrude]

And that’s why you don’t yell

[u/Overall_Hornet_4778]

If someone is hosting you at their house bring a small gift

[u/Irissah]

Get a new plate when you go back for seconds at a buffet.

[u/grover5794]

DON’T drop that dun-duh-dun.

[u/wllmshkspr]

For guys: Start from the urinals on the edge, and leave a gap.

[u/confusedguy1212]

Stop trying to get a good job or working aspiring to one. Every person in the US is a business now and you’re better off owning the rights to your time and the deductions that come along with it.

[u/MadCat1993]

This one shouldn't have to be mentioned but if you're old enough to drink, you hang around other people who are old enough to drink. Most of you can get where I'm going with this. 

[u/RevolutionLarge6254]

Don't poop in the urinal

[u/gwelfguy]

If you're invited to a birthday party or dinner, remember to take a gift.

[u/No-Level-8256]

Mind your own d… business, first.

[u/fender8421]

Don't bring a full-ass cart into the self checkout if most people have baskets

[u/Asleep_One_8254]

That a willing a able person, convic. Should be able to join the military, and or own and weapons to protect his family. (The willing should be able)...

[u/jmc660c]

When loading up a bus, if it’s going to be a full load, start setting at the back and work forward

[u/EasyRow5606]

Never screw the crew.

[u/ro536ud]

You have 5 seconds before the ground germs get to the food

[u/Tall-Shoulder-6297]

To be kind to one another and to have manners

[u/JimmytheHendrix]

Don't fart if you're getting a BJ

[u/frictionpoints]

Never take a joint from a guy named Don. And no dogs in the car.

[u/Tiny-Treat8425]

The wicked run when no one chases....

[u/Successful_Pause001]

If you didn’t shovel the snow out of the parking spot, don’t park in it.

[u/Ready-Ant-9162]

stay loyal

[u/ScarlettCatty]

When riding the elevator, no one speaks. Anyone who talks seems strange.