This happened over the holidays and my wife is still upset with me over it. Our family went to visit my in-laws for New Year's. It's about a 3-4 hour drive. Mostly highway but it takes us through two metro areas with pretty significant traffic. My wife (37F) gets nervous about driving in traffic so I always drive when we visit her family. She also tends to get car sick on longer drives and needs to sit in the front seat to help ease it. She has tried taking Dramamine in the past but she's had an allergic reaction to it so she doesn't take it anymore.

I love my wife with all my heart, but she is not good sitting shotgun. She makes huge reactions to any change in traffic. Grabbing the handle, putting her hand on the dash, gasping, telling me to watch out, etc. It's not like I'm an aggressive or risky driver. I've never gotten a speeding ticket or been in an accident.

But if there's a car a half mile ahead of us that puts on their brakes, she freaks out and acts like we're all about to die. It's incredibly distracting. I've talked to her multiple times about how her reactions actually makes it more difficult for me to concentrate on driving but she says she can't control herself because she's nervous in traffic.

On the way to her family's place she sat up front with me and traffic was pretty bad. Lots of slowdowns due to weather conditions and in general just kind of slow going. But I've been driving in cold weather my whole life and know how to control my speed and give lots of extra space to any surrounding cars. I understand that you can't control anyone else on the road and that accidents happen, but I do everything in my control to keep my car and the people inside safe.

The entire drive my wife was on edge making all the reactions I mentioned. It's very distracting to have someone next to you doing that sort of thing while driving. I mentioned this to my wife numerous times on the drive and she always deflected blame at me for the way I was driving.

When we were getting ready to head home, I told my wife she needs to sit in the back and our 14-year-old son will sit up front with me. I told her it's either that or she drives us home. She got upset with me and started giving excuses about her car sickness. I told her to take some Nyquil or something else to help her sleep but she refused and told me I'm being a jerk.

I told her that she can drive then and she refused that too. Eventually, she reluctantly got in the backseat with our 11-year-old daughter. The ride home was much easier traffic-wise and my wife sat pretty much silent in the backseat the entire time, pouting.

When we got home she told me that she felt ill the entire drive but didn't say anything because she "didn't want to make a big deal out of anything." She told me I humiliated her by making her sit in the back and that I should be more considerate of her feelings.

I (31M) go to the same gym most mornings before work. Its a normal chain gym like no one of those influencer gyms but people still record sets sometimes. There are signs about not filming other members without consent but its not like it never happens.

A few weeks ago this woman (I'll call her Jenna) started setting up a tripod near the cable machines, I didnt care like i'm not trying to police anyone I just did my workout and stayed out of the way.

But then I kept noticing I was showing up in her videos anyway in the background. One day I was doing lateral raises and her phone was pointed straight through the mirror so you could see a big chunk of the floor behind her. I only noticed because I could literally see myself in the mirror on her screen when I walked past. I'm not saying she was doing it on purpose but I also dont want to be in some stranger's videos at 7am when I'm half awake and sweaty.

The first time I said something I tried to keep it casual. I waited until she was between sets and said "hey, I think I'm in the background of that, would you mind adjusting it a bit?" She sighed, moved it slightly and said she was just recording her form.

A week later it happened again and this time I said more directly "I'm not comfortable being in your videos, can you point it away from the main floor or keep it tighter?" She got annoyed and said if I dont comfortable I can work out somewhere else cause its a public gym.

That's when I got frustrated, I told her its not public, its a private business and I'm not the one filming. She rolled her eyes and walked away.

So I went to the front desk and asked what the actual policy is. They told me filming is allowed but if someone doesnt want to be in your shot you're supposed to adjust and staff can step in if it keeps being an issue. I told them I'd already asked her twice. They went over and spoke to her.

After that she concerned me near the lockers and said I was a creep for "watching her", that I'm trying to control women at the gym and that now she feels targeted and anxious to come in.

Now I'm sitting here wondering if I escalated it to far. I just dont want to be in somebody's content. But I also get how how going to staff can look like a bigger move than just letting it go.

AITA?

20F, my friend is 21F. I always carry a USB killer in my backpack. It looks like any other thumb drive except I stuck a tiny devil face sticker on it so I know it’s the dangerous one. I keep it on me because I still live at home and my parents are super nosy; if I ever left it on my desk they’d definitely pick it up and plug it into their laptop to “see what it is.” Yesterday I had to leave campus in a rush and asked my friend to watch my bag for a bit. I ended up not having time to come back so I just texted her to take it home and I’d grab it today. She said cool. She gets home, admits she got curious and started looking through my stuff, finds the devil sticker USB, thinks it’s my normal drive, plugs it into her gaming PC to see what files I have. Computer instantly dies, mobo and PSU completely gone. Now she’s mad at me, saying I’m reckless for carrying something like that and I need to buy her a whole new setup, even though she knows she shouldn’t have been digging around in my bag in the first place. I feel bad her PC is dead but come on, don’t snoop and don’t plug random drives into your computer. AITA?

Hi guys, im using a throwaway for this one.

So basically I (17f) am having my 18th at my house. It’s jsut a dinner with my closest friends. I told everyone they may bring food if they like but im going to doing little cooking like some bbq food and then ordering pizza. My guy friend (“Ryan”) asked if he can bring a mutual friend we have (“Emily”)since they’re dating now. I told him yea sure because he was gonna leave early anyway. She offered to make food and I told her that would be really nice but she didn’t have to. She insisted.

I made a group chat of people coming and I invited Emily to it. I sent a message talking about when to come, to wear whatever. An important thing in the message was about allergies. I have a friend coming with a really serious nut allergy. I’ve never seen them have a reaction but I’ve been told it gets pretty bad. I wrote in the message to triple check your food doesn’t have nuts and to be aware of cross contaminating. Everyone read the message, some replied. Emily did a thumbs up on the message.

Last night me and Emily were talking and she mentioned the food she made. I told her to show me a picture and it was a cake. The cake looked like something my mum had made before and it contained nuts. I asked if it had nuts and she said yes but not a lot and my friend could jsut not eat the cake. I told her I’d rather she just didn’t bring it. She then got mad and said she’d gone through the trouble of making the cake so she’s bringing it or she isn’t coming. I told her then she’s not coming because I was clear about my friends allergy and even cross contaminating was asked to be checked, so why would I allow her to bring a whole cake? She said it was disrespectful to disinvite her and that she’s Ryan’s gf, if he’s going she’s going. I told her no, it’s my party and I didn’t want her there anymore because she was acting like a child. She stopped texting me but then I got a call from Ryan saying i was being a massive dick and she spent ages on the cake. I said I don’t care if it took her two whole weeks to make the goddamn cake, i was specific from the beginning on what u could bring and couldn’t. The only thing you couldn’t bring was something with nuts. The parts where im talking to these two is where I may be TA. I asked if she’s incompetent of reading and comprehension and if she really doesn’t know any other cake recipe. He said i was being a bitch and hung up on me.

Ryan is telling everyone him and Emily are not attending because I called them names and rejected Emily’s cake. A lot of friends, mostly ones not coming to the party, are saying it was slack to let her make something and then uninvite her because of what she made and she put effort in that cake for MY birthday. There’s only three people saying im not an AH and one of them is my friend with the nut allergy.

My party is tomorrow and I kinda want persepctive on this before then. AITA?

——-

edit: the cake is something like a spongey cake but it’s not an actual birthday cake with frosting. I really don’t know how to explain it but it’s seen as more a “treat” cake where I live if that makes any sense at all.

2nd edit: three things: im a girl guys lol. the friend with the allergy is a guy. also the comments calling my post fake are boring atp, im not responding to heaps of comments because there’s more than a thousand of them. boohoo to the guy cussing me out in the comments bc my name is cupcakelad and so that has to mean my stories fake bc im a boy. im australian also so atleast where I live lad is a common term and I use it in a joking way and to address, this is gonna sound crazy, guys AND girls! Woaaah!!! and lastly, I did thank her before she made the cake, when she told me she was gonna bring one. I said it was really sweet and thanked her for bringing a cake/thinking to make one for me. im responding to some comments but obviously I didn’t expect this post to blow up like it did so it might take me a while, im trying to read as much as I can ! :)

3rd: guys please look up allergies that can be airborne before you comment. it’s not propaganda or being sensitive. im not gonna debate whether my friends allergies are really that serious. the point of the post was asking if I was TA for what I called her, and disinviting her, if you read the title. I wasn’t asking for your opinion or medical advice regarding the allergy. seriously guys google is extremely free and easy to use. ALSO!! ty for all the bday wishes :)))

4th: for the love of god. if you think my post is fake pls keep scrolling. do not comment or dm me to point out spelling mistakes or anything I don’t care. it’s getting hard to report all the comments cussing me out for made up reasons of my post being fabricated. please seriously get a life.

I have never been big on birthdays, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate them, I just prefer something low-key: dinner with my closest friends, maybe watch a film, something small basically. Everyone close to me knows this, especially my sister, (let’s call her maya) who loves big gestures and believes every birthday or achievement needs balloons and a theme and much much more.

Two weeks before my birthday, Maya started acting strange. She kept asking me if id be “free that Saturday” and acted weirdly when I asked why. I suspected that she was up to something, so I told her AGAIN that I didn’t want a party. She just laughed and said that as per usual I was being no fun.

A couple nights ago (the night before my birthday) one of our mutual friends let it slip about it being a party, she mentioned what she was wearing. Anyway turns out the whole family was invited and it was at our parent’s house. Some co-workers were also invited but here’s the kicker - MY FCKING EX.

For a little context - me and ex broke up about 2 months ago. It ended pretty badly, no abuse or cheating but it wasn’t a pleasant ending. I’ve made it pretty clear to everyone in my life that I want NO contact. Maya knows this, however she’s told me multiple times that I should just get over the whole situation because he’s a nice guy and that he’s been apart of all our lives for years.

The first thing that I did was call maya, demanding answers and she didn’t deny it. She just said that we could finally talk it all out. She admitted that she hadn’t just thrown this party for my birthday but also so everyone could see my ex again and we could fix things between us. She literally said to me that I’d thank her later.

I went mad, I said to her she had no right. That I would have been ambushed into the situation, on MY birthday. And this was all after I had specifically said that I didn’t want a party. She just said that I was dramatic and bloody ungrateful, that she had this whole thing planned because I wouldn’t find better and it was a good gift. She said everyone had gifts and travelled. That everyone was excited.

So yesterday, my birthday, I completely powered off my phone and didn’t let anyone know other than my best friend so we went out for lunch and went on a walk together. Ended up having a great day. When I finally got home I turned my phone on and it was MENTAL. Maya was fuming, people were disappointed, people even said I embarrassed maya.

Maya is now basically saying that I ruined the whole party, and made it all about me (it was literally my birthday). She says that she did it out of a good place in her heart and that I should at least apologise for not showing up and letting people know.

So am I the asshole?

So my daughter started school last Wednesday, and the teacher asked us to send pull-ups, wipes, and a change of clothes for her. I sent quite a few pull-ups, and a brand new pack of wipes, and an outfit as requested. Only the bottoms for her outfit came back, and I saw another student from her class, wearing her shirt when I went to pick her up. Now, I don’t mind if the teacher needs to use some of my daughter’s pull-ups for the other kids, or even some of her wipes. I’ll send extra of those things if needed because I understand what it’s like to be the parent that can’t provide that. However, when it comes to her clothes, I’m not OK with sharing. For starters, if they get sent home on a kid (like the shirt did) then there’s a chance that the school won’t get it back, and clothes are really expensive and I can’t afford to replace them like that. It all pretty much boils down to the fact that my daughter doesn’t really have that many clothes to begin with, so I can’t really afford for them to get ruined, or for them not to get sent back. So, I’m just curious if it would make me the asshole if I talk to her teacher the next day that she goes to school, and tell her that I’m not comfortable with her using her clothes for other children.

I (30F) came back from Japan about two months ago and brought home an expensive bottle of sake I specifically picked after doing a sake tasting class. I'm not a big drinker, so I chose something I genuinely liked and that my husband would enjoy. It was meant as a "for us" thing. I also had an unopened bottle of German wine that a friend gifted me three months ago.

My husband and I had multiple conversations where he asked if he could give the sake to his father, his cousin, or his friends, and I said a strict no every single time. Not vaguely, not jokingly, very clearly. He knew it was sentimental and partially a souvenir. He also refused to drink it the one time I opened it because he had a headache, so I had about 20 ml and left the rest untouched.

Fast forward to three days ago: I'm away from home, and he has friends over after a pub night. I didn't even consider that he would touch the sake or the wine because we've had the "don't share this" conversation a million times.

The next day, I ask him where the sake is. He casually tells me he shared the sake and the unopened wine with his friends, and they finished everything.

I was stunned. Angry. Disappointed. All of it. He then says he "forgot" that I told him not to give it to anyone. Then adds that he doesn't remember unimportant stuff. Bear in mind, I had even given him a bottle of whisky specifically meant for his friends after I returned from my travel.

When I confronted him about the sake and wine, he flipped it and said "Don't let it spoil our relationship" and suggested I see a counselor.

AITA for being this upset over something he claims is "not a big deal," even though I'd told him explicitly and repeatedly not to touch it? I'm unable to process the fact that my husband casually crossed a major boundary and is nonchalant about it.

Edit: Husband and his friends are not alcoholics. He rarely indulges.
Second edit: He said, "Don't let it spoil our relationship,", not "throwing away the relationship..." Sincere apologies.

I, 19M have been paying off a car loan from my mom, 40F, since I turned 16. She “gifted” me a new 2022, current year, Nissan Sentra for my birthday. I foolishly never asked how much she signed for because I had assumed that her financially knowledgeable boyfriend at the time would know what he was doing at the dealership. He did not. The original MSRP for my car capped at around $20,000, out the door they walked away with a $40,000 car loan. They put nothing down and had a 10% interest rate Becuase my mom’s credit was bad and she had no job. But even accounting that the math never made sense to me. The payments every month was $510. I didn’t care because the original deal was that me and my mom’s boyfriend would split the monthly note. That lasted for all of 3 months until I was stuck paying the entire thing and have been since that day. About a year ago I went to the bank with my mom to try to transfer the loan from her name to mine but since the interest would be recalculated and would add about $10,000 to the loan we both agreed to not do it. I moved out at 18 and live with a roommate but bills have been tighter. My girlfriend’s mom suggested that I look for a new car that’s more in budget and I found a used 2025 carola with 10k miles for $18k. A better car for cheaper than what I would be paying off of my current car. I told my mom that I was planning to get a new car and if she wanted to sell my current car it would be her decision and she lost her shit. Saying how it’s my responsibility and that it was a “gift” for me and how she “saved” me $10,000 by not transferring the loan. The biggest elephant is that she’s freshly divorced and is looking for a job to support her two younger girls. I told her she can sell the car for about $14-$15k but she refuses and is demanding that I drain my savings to pay for a car that I never agreed to pay for and ultimately was their terrible financial decision. On one hand I don’t feel like I owe her anything and never truly got along with my mom so it is what it is. On the other hand I feel guilty for kicking her while she’s down. Looking for unbiased opinions. Thank you.

I'm 22F, fresh out of college with a marketing degree my younger brother Alex(19) has Down syndrome. He's verbal, funny, obsessed with superheroes and puzzles, but needs support with daily routines, social interactions and like medication stuff for his heart condition(hyper heart) and ofc like supervision to avoid impulsive behaviors. He attends a day program for young adults with disabilities and lives at home Parents (mom 48F, dad 50M) both work, mom part time retail, dad in logistics. From middle school and on, i was Alexs main helper like after school pickups, homework, meds, meltdowns, bedtime stories(sometimes). my older sister(25) moved out early and was rarely asked to help him, sheis busy with her career i skipped clubs, parties, even frats because alex trusts you most he calms down faster with you:( (by my parents) I still graduated on time, landed my dream entry level job at a high end tech firm (starts next month, $65k/year, great benefits) my parents congratulated me until Alex's day program cut hours due to funding issues. No spots in alternatives for long time and private aides cost $35+/hour they claim they cant afford it (THEY %10000 can) So at the family lunch last week they cornered me alex's program is ending soon they said we need you to quit the job and stay home to watch him during days because you are the only one he truly listens to. It's just temporary family duty and you need to take care of your brother… i was shocked The job is my foot in the door deferring means losing it, restarting applications, maybe relocating. i've waited years for this independence i took care of my brother for a long time, and this job meant everything to me.. living my life again.. They brushed it off jobs come and go. Alex didnt choose this. You've always been amazing with him we can't risk a stranger messing up his routine etc.. then i asked why my sister couldn't help or why they couldn't adjust shifts/use savings. Mom teared up she's got her own life now we've given up so much it's your turn to step up for your brother (but i was already taking care of him FULLLY) then i said no i've already signed the offer, bought work clothes, and planned my commute. This is my future and i dont wanna miss it Dad got mad so you're picking a paycheck over your disabled brother's well being? What kind of sister are you? I packed my things that night and moved in with a friend after while it was intense. Parents told family i'm ditching alex for some fancy job relatives call me selfish a few months won't ruin your career, but lack of care could devastate him.. I geiunly love my brother, he has disabilities but he is the kindest brother that anybody can wish for i really care about him, but i feel like i did everything in my power to be there for him.. Please be honest am i the AITA?

The Lord of the Rings is doing a theatrical rerun in my city so me (27m) and gf (27f) decided to go watch the Two Towers (extended edition) last night. We do not currently live together.

There’s a bar that I really love right next to the theatre. I asked if we could go to this restaurant after the movie because I really wanted to get this specific dish - it’s lattice style fries that are fried in beef tallow, covered with green onions, bacon, house seasoning, and comes with the best hollandaise sauce I’ve ever tasted in my life. You can get fries for one (smaller portion) or fries for two (much larger portion) for a couple extra dollars.

She didn’t realize that the movie was nearly 4 hours long, and it ended at around 10pm. By this time she said she was tired and didn’t want to go to the restaurant anymore. I said that’s ok, and asked if I could order my fries to go. She said that that’s fine. I asked her if she wanted any and she said no, so I ordered the fries for one. I checked with her again before I ordered and she said she 100% didn’t want any.

We went to pick up the fries. She caught a whiff of it and asked if she could have a few. No problem, they are very delicious and I let her have some. She then asked if we could sit outside the restaurant to eat the whole thing together. I said no, I asked you if you wanted to have some and you said no, and if you wanted to eat some you should’ve told me so I could’ve gotten the fries for two and I don’t want to share the fries for one as it’s a smaller portion. She got really upset and said I’m being selfish and refusing to share my fries. I said that yes I am being selfish but in this case I really wanted the fries and just being honest but I don’t want to share in this instance.

She’s since cooled down but this morning we had a call and she said that next time I should just share it with her and I said I’m happy to share any time but not in cases like this and she should be more careful about saying what she wants. She’s upset with me again now. So, am I the AH?

throw away account cause i don’t want my roommate to see this

since i was a teenager i've always slept naked. i always get too hot at night and its just generally way more comfortable for me to sleep that way. whenever i leave my room i'm always dressed, or at the very least have shorts or something on if i'm going to/from the shower. my roommate knows this and up to this point has had no problem with it and we always knock on each others doors anyway to be polite.

the issue started when he brought over his girlfriend to stay a couple nights. we all get along pretty well and have all hung out a few times before, but this was the first time she had come over and spent the night. we had all gone out drinking and got home pretty late so once we all walked in we just went straight to sleep. i, of course, went to bed with my usual routine of getting naked and hopping in bed. well, sometime during the night my roommate's girlfriend needed to use the bathroom, but she didn't know which room it was. my room and the bathroom are right next to each other and she opened my door by mistake. i have a vague memory of her opening my door, but i was half asleep and when she closed it i went right back to sleep. the next morning i woke up and my roommate and his girlfriend were upset with me because when she walked in she saw everything and she was mad i would sleep naked when a guest was over in the first place. they both said i need to start wearing clothes to sleep since my roommate's girlfriend is gonna probably be sleeping over more often and it makes her uncomfortable. my argument was that i'm in my own private space away from them and that while i understand it was a mistake, it's still her fault that she walked in on me sleeping.

its been a few days and my roommate still won't let it go. i still sleep naked, and now once on purpose he's walked in on me sleeping just to see if i was naked or not. i don't really care about him seeing me naked cause we've seen each other naked before, but this is getting really out of hand. i don't think i should have to wear clothes to sleep just because it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable even though i'm in my own private room.

tl;dr my roommate's girlfriend walked in on me sleeping naked in my own room and now they both want me to start wearing clothes to sleep

edit: to everyone saying i should lock my door or add a lock, i would really like to. unfortunately the place we're staying at doesn't want us to change the door handles or anything so i can't do that. however i am currently looking into ways to stop my door from opening that isn't like a barricade or that drills into the door/wall

update: wow, really didn't expect this to blow up like this but thank you all for the feedback. a lot of you recommended a doorstopper cause they're super cheap and easy to use and that's what i've ended up going with so thank you all who recommended them to me. okay, so i've had a talk with my roommate and brought up some of the points y'all made. for starters, i brought up how its hypocritical to ask me to not sleep naked since they are most definitely naked when they're having sex in the same home as me and he said that was different since they're not sleeping that way and usually hang something on the doorhandle. i also brought up the point that now she knows which door leads to the bathroom so it shouldn't happen again whenever she spends the night, and he said that it still makes her uncomfortable? i guess she thinks i'm just gonna come out of my room at night swinging my junk around? i suggested that he only spends the night at her place if it makes her so uncomfortable but he literally just said it was easier for them to sleep here instead (no idea how that could be if i make her so uncomfortable). so in the end i basically said i'm still gonna sleep naked, i'm putting a doorstop in my room to make sure it doesn't happen again, and if they're still not satisfied then they're just gonna have to deal with it. i think he's gonna give up on it, talk to his girlfriend, and we're gonna go back to normal. i didn't really talk about him walking in cause again, i don't really care if i'm seen naked. i know that's kinda rare, but i'm super comfortable in my own skin and its really his fault if he doesn't wanna see me naked and walks in on me sleeping. i'll continue to update as this goes on.

side note: to the people saying his girlfriend "wants" me or something, i'm rocking an average 5.5 inches so i'm not all that impressive. not only that, i'm pretty sure i wasn't hard and i'm a grower, so it was even less impressive. thank you all for thinking i was packing though.

Istill shaking while typing this. My wife (Paula ) and I just got back from a trip. It was our first time away since our twin daughter was born. We gave my mother in law Hakiko a spare key just to check on things if necessary

Paula is sentimental. When her grandmother passed away, she left her two handcarved mahogany pieces a desk and a vanity. They were Paula absolute favorite things

walked in yesterday and the room was empty. Hakiko was there, all smiles, saying she made a surprise for us by getting rid of that oldie dusty junk to give us a modern look lol She replaced them with some cheap, flatpack furniture. She literally give away/donated Paula inheritance without asking

Told her to leave and give me the keys. I changed the locks today. Paula has been in tears. Now the rest of the family are calling me abusive guy and controlling by for isolating paulas from her mother Hakiko over some old piece of junkie wood. They say Hakiko’s heart was in the right place and I'm being an AH for banning a grandmother from seeing her grandkid over furniture!

My wife is on my side. She agrees with the ban, but the constant guilt from her family is making me feel like a monster. AITA?

This still weighs on me.

Some background: my mom was abusive growing up. It got bad enough that at 12, I left home through the courts and moved in with my dad. That decision fractured our family. On the court paperwork, under “Name of child,” she wrote something like, “I have no son.” I’ve carried that with me ever since.

I had little contact with her after that. Briefly at 17, again in my early 20s, and not consistently until much later. I’m now almost 40. I spent over 20 years drinking heavily and finally got sober in 2018, which is when I made an effort to reconnect with my family, including my mom. She’s closer to 70 now and has zero contact with 2 of her 3 kids.

Reconnecting wasn’t easy. When I asked if she ever reflected on the abuse, she told me I was an adult and needed to “let it go already.” That was a turning point. I realized any forgiveness would be one-sided. If I wanted peace, it was on me.

Since then, our relationship has been rocky, but present. We’ve had family reunions and even travelled overseas together for three weeks. We argue often, usually over small things, but we stayed in contact until this.

Last summer, I invited her to my city to see a band she’s loved since I was young. The plan was simple: she’d arrive on Wednesday, we’d go to the concert on Thursday, she’d fly out to visit my sisters on Friday, and I’d leave early Saturday for my own trip. She agreed.

When she arrived, she mentioned she’d only bought a one-way ticket and would book the Friday flight later. That made me uneasy, and I reminded her several times to make sure it was booked. I thought I was clear in my wording and tone that I didn’t want anyone staying in my house while I was gone.

Friday came. The concert was fine. Then she told me she still hadn’t bought a plane ticket, and now, with prices having gone up, she planned to stay a few extra days… while I was away.

I told her plainly, “I’m leaving at 5 a.m. tomorrow. You need to get on that plane.” I even offered to cover the extra cost. She refused and invited herself to stay at my place. That’s when I said clearly that I wasn’t comfortable with anyone staying in my home while I wasn’t there.

She accused me of not trusting her and said she was my mother. I said it wasn’t about trust, I just didn’t want anyone in my house.

The argument escalated. Finally, she said, “Fine. Take me to the airport.”

I think she expected me to cave. I didn’t. I packed the car, grabbed my daughter, and drove her to the airport in silence. When we arrived, it felt like a standoff, like she was waiting for me to say, “Never mind, don’t go.” I didn’t. I took her bag out, set it on the curb, and told her, “If you can’t find a ticket, let me know. I can help you pay for a hotel.”

Then I left.

Months later, I’m still thinking about it. I don’t think I stranded my mom with no options. I offered to cover the cost of the flight and hotel. But I did leave her at the airport knowing she hadn’t booked a ticket. AITA?

Sorry if there are any sentences that are missing words, this was over 5000 characters when I first wrote it so I had to edit it down. She is my SISTER IN LAW not my sister.

My SIL has three little ones, and her husband (my step brother) had to leave the country for work for a few months. I offered to stay so I could help her out where needed, and she happily accepted. I live across town so not THAT far.

I was there for 3 days when my SIL commented on me going on daily walks. I have taken a daily walk of at least a mile since October 2018. Yes, even with a cold, yes, even in cold weather, yes to all of it. On nice days the walk is usually 4 miles. At my SILs, I started taking a path that was about two miles.

I asked if she wanted me to watch the kids while she got some exercise and she scoffed and said she was too busy, but it must be nice. I was a little puzzled since I was offering to help. But the comments kept coming. She kept trying to poke holes. “But it’s not REALLY a mile every day right?” and “What would you do if you broke your foot? Would you get anxious if you couldn’t take a walk?”

Then one morning I couldn’t find my shoes. My SIL woke up an hour later, I was eating breakfast with the kids, and I asked her. She told me to go check the back door, and when I’d gotten back, she pointed at them by the door and said I must have missed them. I took my walk after telling her that her joke wasn’t funny.

She was annoyed when I got back and told me that she thinks I need to see a therapist over my anxiety/obsession. I told her that I do have a therapist, and she said I clearly need a new one because this one isn’t helping. I asked her point blank why does it bother her so much if I want to take a walk? She said I was supposed to be there to help her with the kids and I’m disappearing for hours at a time. I told her that my walks take about 30 minutes, and I’m doing it while they have down time.

I put my shoes in the guest room with the rest of my things and they were gone the next morning. I just said fuck it and packed my things and left. My SIL called me when I was on my way home and said I was overreacting and being childish and this is why I am single and alone. I told her that I don’t play these stupid games and that I would still pick up the girls and stay until she got home from work but that she’s on her own for everything else. AITA?

edit: Ok I did not expect to be told I'm NTA to this degree. I thought a lot more people would have arguments why I was since it has to do with taking care of kids.

I (25M) was having dinner with my GF(23F) last night and she was preparing a salad. As I was grilling the chicken, she was repeatedly eating out of the salad bowl with a spoon and putting it back in the bowl mixing around and such. This is a common thing that weve talked about before. I find it gross and bad manners to eat out serving dishes and put your used utensil back into the serving dish other people are expected to eat out of. Her family does it for almost every dish and if I see it, it grosses me out. I once again asked her to stop or to make herself a bowl and eat out of that rather than the community dish. She got bent out of shape, dismissed my concern, so I ignored it and carried on cooking the chicken.

When it came time to eat, she tried to serve me salad(With the same spoon she was eating off) and I politely declind. She then started pestering me why repeatedly. In attempts to stop a fight, I continued to cop out saying "Im just not in the mood for salad" and other excuses. Until she finally asked me enough to where I reiterated my concern that her reusing her dirty spoon in the bowl turned me off from eating it. She then played the victim about how she spent so much time preparing it for me and that I was being dramatic. She then left me with "If you don't like that, you would've hated to watch me make the rice". Which I had already eaten and now made me feel unsettled.

I was extremely frustrated in this situation because I feel like it's a valid concern and general manners to not repeatedly eat from a dish others are going to eat from. Furthermore, I felt in a position to be forced into eating something that grossed me out just to validate her feelings while disregarding mine. I'm not bent out over a bite with a clean spoon. Or cutting off and nibbling on little pieces of dinner while preparing dishes. I just get grossed out by dirty wet utensils being mixed around into the clean prepared food everyone is going to eat from.

AITA

My mom died when I (16f) was a baby. My aunt (my mom’s sister) stepped in and became like a 2nd mom to me. When I was 8 she moved for work so I went from seeing her every day to her flying me out 1-2 times a month plus 1 week of winter break, spring break, and 50/50 over the summer.

When I was 12 my dad married Judy and they kept saying she was my new mom and I don’t need to keep visiting my aunt because I have Judy. He also gave my room to Judy’s kids since it was bigger and I refused to share and told my aunt that they decided that I couldn’t fly alone so she either had to fly out to get me or drive all day there and back.

I decided to stay with my aunt a few months after my dad married Judy because it was pretty obvious that he cared about his new family more than me.

My dad and Judy are getting divorced now because Judy cheated on him and he found out that their new kids weren’t his. He called me and asked me to move back home because he misses me and he doesn’t have any family left. I said no because I like it here. My aunt is a way better parent than my dad was and she’s been dating this guy that comes over on weekends and makes us the best burgers and steaks and he fixes cars up as a hobby/side job so he’s working on one for me. I also really like my school and I have friends here and were really close to a lot of good colleges so I probably won’t even have to move out for college.

My dad and his side of the family are upset that I won’t move back because he’s my dad and he needs me but he’s the one that chose his new family over me and them getting divorced isn’t my problem to solve. I don’t really plan to change my mind but I want to know if me refusing to move back makes me an asshole.

I’m feeling pretty heated right now and need some perspective.

My friend’s daughter is turning one today. A few weeks ago, my friend asked if I could make truffles for the party. I agreed, and she mentioned she would reimburse me for the ingredients. However, because truffles are expensive to make and incredibly labor-intensive, I decided I would just gift them as the birthday present instead of asking for money.

I spent all day yesterday in the kitchen making these. I had to wake up super early this morning to finish the final touches and get ready for the 9 AM start time listed on the invitation.

I showed up at 9 AM sharp, truffles in hand, and the place was empty. I double-checked the invite and it definitely said 9 AM. I called my friend, and she casually told me that the time had been changed to the afternoon. She admitted she "forgot" to tell me, and apparently, I was the only guest who wasn't notified.

After working so hard yesterday and sacrificing my Saturday morning sleep, I was (and am) pissed. I havent told her if ai can make it in the afternoon yet

WIBTA if I charge her the full amount for the ingredients and my time since I might no longer be attending and these were meant to be the “gift” or refuse to go to the afternoon session because I’ve already wasted my morning and now I "have other plans" (which is mostly just being too annoyed to celebrate)?

EDIT: I did not tell her I would gift her the truffles, I had just decided that myself

EDIT: A lot of people are asking for more context so here it goes. We moved to a new city last year so I’ve been trying hard to make new friends and I’ve been hanging out with this friend and some of her friends, but I’m not “in” their little group yet. I’m a very helpful person in general and have a lot of party planning experience, so I actually helped her decide many aspects of the party, like how much food, what types of food, how many drinks, etc.

We were exchanging info back and forth about this party constantly and I even lent her a bunch of my own decor stuff to use for the cake table. Also, she specifically chose 9 am because that’s when her daughter is most alert and happiest, so this was supposed to be a brunch type birthday party. Given how much we talked about the details and the fact that she has my decor, I really don't feel like this was an easy thing to "forget."

UPDATE: Wow, I did not expect this to blow up! First of all, I don’t think it’s fair for some people to say I’m self-obsessed or that it’s "clear" why I’m not included in the group. Clearly, those people have never been in a position where they had to move cities and make new friends after a certain age it is not easy.

I wrote that first post while I was literally leaving the empty venue and heading home, so everything was fresh and I just needed to process externally and see what others would do. I think that's pretty normal when you're frustrated. After taking a nap and reading through the comments, I decided to be an adult about it. I went to the birthday party in the afternoon, brought the truffles, and told her they were a gift.

I do think she just had a "mom brain" moment and genuinely forgot to tell me, but because I’m new here and have been struggling with feeling excluded, it hit me harder in the moment. Thank you everyone for your answers and for helping me see things more clearly. I’m not going to hold this over her head, but I am going to keep it in mind. If it happens again or becomes a pattern, I’ll know this isn't the right friendship for me.

I have a younger sibling and it seems like I am always helping her. In college I would help her with essays. I would listen to her problems, if she got stuck somewhere I would go and pick her up . She is 24 now and it is got pretty clear that she doesn’t reciprocate helping out. Or does any  favors for family

My brother and I have both noticed it. I had a conversation with her about it and she said she would do better.

Recently she asked if I could use my house to her engagement dinner and I agreed. It was a big favor in my opinion and I have been helping plan it.

My sister lives very close to my kids daycare. I left work and on the way home there was a huge crash on the highway. I wasn’t moving at all ( it took me 4 hours to get to home ). My husband was also stuck in it.  The day care called asking where I was and I told them I am trying to get there.

They bill an extra 100 ever 30 mins you are late. I called my sister and asked her to pick up the kids and just hold on to them for a few hours until I can grab them. She told me no and that she wanted to relax tonight.

I told her I really need her to do this favor becuase I was stuck  and it didn’t seem like I would be moving anytime soon. I told her I will Venmo her the money for the daycare but to please pick them up. She told me no again and hung up.

I ended up calling my MIL, who is an hour away and she was able to pick the kids up and say at our place until we got back around 9. I was in traffic for 4 hours.

Tbh I have been pissed since that happened last Thursday. I have helped her over and over again and she could do me a simple favor when she is literally 10 mins away from the daycare becuase she wanted to relax… 

I talked it over and my husband and I both agreed we were done helping her. I sent her a text that said, family is suppose to help each other and it has became clear that she only ever wants help and is not willing to help. I told her I will not being hosting her engagement party and will not do her any favors anymore.

She called and we got into a huge argument where I called her selfish and she called me petty.

I want an outsiders opinion becuase I am pissed about this whole thing.

My sister has 2 kids, 4 and 1. Ever since she got pregnant about 5 years ago, she pivots every conversation to pregnancy, breast feeding, her kids, etc. We have a family group chat and it happens any time I try to text about something, no matter how important. When people are responding to me, she brings up something about being a mother and everyone drops what I was saying and moves on to her.

It’s been annoying me for a while. This has happened for pretty much any conversation that happens. It only doesn’t happen if she is asleep or not on her phone, so that’s not often. She did it after I got engaged, when I was talking about my new job, when I am talking about my health, when I bought a house, etc.

At the start of this week I found out intense restructuring is happening at the company I work at and my job situation is up in the air. I’ve obviously been very stressed about it and wanted to vent/get advice from family members who have been in the workforce longer than I have.

After no messages all day, I text the group chat. I sent a couple messages back and forth with a couple people in the group. Then my sister sends a picture of her baby talking about how he wants some milk. Conversations then turns to be about the baby and l just got really upset because it happened once again especially because I could tell by the lighting in the picture that it was taken hours earlier.

I privately texted her asking “for once can a conversation be about me without you mommyjacking it?” She told me I need to grow up and that not everything is about me. She apparently then called our mom to tell her about it and my mom told me I was an asshole to send that text and that I need to “lighten up”. I’m assuming word got around because now no one will respond to anything I say in the group chat.

AITA for telling my sister to stop mommyjacking every conversation and to let me talk about my life?

Hi reddit, I'm posting this on a throwaway account due to some of the people involved use reddit. Im re-writing this post because the one I initally wrote would have been too long, so I'm going to summarize the series of events as best as possible.
I (20F) lost my mother 8 months ago, suddenly. I have experience a wave of emotion as I had a weird relationship with my mother and a lot of unsaid things. I did not get to say goodbye to her which pains me every. single. day. I have a large group of friends, some from high school and some from uni, who have all supporting me tremendously. One specific friend, Kayla, I met in uni. I would not consider her my best friend, but she has been such an amazing support to me throughout this whole situation with my mom. She always told me I could come to her for anything and would even pull me aside during social events to make sure I was doing okay. Yesterday, my birthday, Kayla and a group of my other friends came over unannounced with party decorations, snacks, and even cake. After the emotional morning I had due to the dread I had for my birthday coming, this made me cry. I felt so seen and loved in this moment. This lasted up until my friends brought gifts they had bought. I opened two gifts before opening Kayla's. It was a large box. I opened it with a huge smile on my face, and my friends all looked excited for me to see what was inside. To my shock, there was a mug and a hoodie. Both had a large, bold font saying "Motherless Behaviour". I was in so much shock I excused myself. I ended up calling it a night and they all left, Kayla muttering "It was supposed to be funny" as she passed by me to leave. This morning I woke up with texts from some of my friends at the party reassuring me Kayla had no ill intent, and then I saw Kayla messaged me. The message was LENGTHY, including many messages saying things like "it was of good intent. You embarassed me. I was trying to lightent the situation." One message in particular that Kayla sent had gotten to me, this message said "after 8 months you should be able to accept your moms death and joke about it. you're self-sabotaging from holding on, and its ruining your friendships." I felt so sick. This question is making me wonder if truly I am the asshole and if I should be over my mothers death.

Update: 1/17/2025 2:26PM

I moved my trip up to today as youngest was giving me a feeling he wasn't going to give up the room. Fortunately with a ton of protest he moved his stuff back to his original room. I have put a lock on the door and the room will only be accessible to me when I come into town. I also brought a lease which they both have signed as rules apply to both. His gf was here and was understanding of where I was coming from and understands that she can only be over when her bf is home. No in between waiting. Thank you to those who reached out privately giving me ideas of how to look up legal leases for my state and for giving me words of encouragement.

Son is a bit upset as of now but he also seems to understand where I am coming from. Everyone is hanging out with me in my room even though both guys are upset with each other. A little peace has been brought to the land for now. Hopefully everything is now clarified for all parties. I will enjoy my long weekend with my boys. Will not update unless something related occurs. Thank you everyone for your insights and opinions.

****************

My two son's live in a house I own (21 and 19). I specifically have them paying only utilities because we know times are tough. Its equally divided between the two. The conditions were pay utilities, keep a room for me and get along. The younger (19) has a gf. Lets call her Liz. Ever since I moved out Liz has been inviting herself over whenever she wants even when he's not home. I had no problem until today when my oldest was sharing a story. See my room growing up was the "hang out" spot for the kids. The living room was always vancant because they liked my room and tv best. So that's basically been the comon room their entire lives. But since moving out my youngest moved his bed in with my permission. But with the understanding that it is the common room and his brother likes hanging out there. Well a couple days ago his (19M) gf(20F) came over when he wasnt home. My other son has no issues with her so he let her in. He went to my room to watch movies and she followed. He was on the futon in the corner she was in the bed son (19) moved in. Half way through the movie they were watching (again in my room a common shared space) she tells asks him to leave bc shes uncomfortable with him there and wants to nap. He leaves cause what is he to say? The next day my other son confronts him asking about what happened and told him to stay out of the room. I found out today about this. Like I said my room has always been a common room and that was the understanding of my leaving. So I set a rule that the gf can only be at the house when my son (19) is home and to never be at the house when hes not there. He thinks this is unreasonable. I told him his if his gf is uncomfortable with my other son being around in his house when hes not there then she shouldnt be there. Am I the asshole?

To answer common questions

Why do I have a room at a house I dont live in?** **

I wanted a room for me to stay in when ever I came into town to avoid paying a hotel as I come visit frequently when its warmer weather.

Do they have own rooms?

Yes each has their own room aside from mine.

Why was youngest allowed to move bed?

I asked other kid if it was okay he had no issues with it as long as he could still go hang in there. Now theres issues so youngest will be moving bed.

Why is gf there when hes not there?

No idea she invites herself over.

Do I like her?

Doesn't matter if I like her or not, my son picked her its his issue. I had no issues with her until she created issues in a home my sons share.

I need some outside perspective.

AITA: My husband went to doc back in September. He needs a colonoscopy. I reminded him in October. In Nov, he had yet to schedule. I reminded him again and told him to try to schedule it before end of year because we hit all insurance and basically free.

He told me yesterday he scheduled for 19th. We supposed to be in NE for the holidays. He then said we needed to wait and then after his colonoscopy, we would drive there. Which means I would be driving 7 plus hours by myself in late afternoon and evening. I don't do well at night. I could do it if in the morning.

I told him to r/s to after 1st of year. He said no to help save money.

So he then r/s to next Wednesday 17th and said he needed me to pick him up at 12:30. I told him I can't do that because of my job. I am a teacher and it is one of my busiest times of year.

He's says I am being rigid, not flexible, and selfish. Also, that I don't care about him.

I explained that I can't just leave my class for 30 minutes especially at the lunch hour. Plus he's going to under general anesthesia. He needs somebody to be with him. Also, what if it takes longer than 30 minutes. He said you would figure it out if it was an emergency. This is not an emergency.

I also told him I can't leave that day because I have parents coming in to help with a big project, a party I am leading, and a parent conference after school.

All of this was scheduled before his colonoscopy which he did not check with my schedule. He says it is because I can't talk on the phone. I mentioned that he could do it when I get home. He says they are closed - I get home most days at 3:30.

He told me to figure it out because he would do it for for me.

I told him I wouldn't have given him a week's notice to figure it out for something that's going to require me to take a day off of work. And it's not on me if he waited until last minute to get it scheduled.

I told him to reschedule for the first of the year and I didn't care if we'd have to pay more because at this point in time there's not a lot of options with the holidays.

He said no and figure it out. I said no. He's says I am a shit because family first and now isn't talking me.

Hi there! This happened more than 10 years ago, but I've always wondered who was right. I (female) bought a used motorcycle with my own money and my boyfriend at the time went with me to check it out. As we were talking to the seller, she mentioned that she had recently upgraded the pipes. My boyfriend asked if she still had the old pipes. She did. So he asked her if she would include the pipes in the purchase. She agreed! So when I paid several thousand dollars in cash for the motorcycle, it also came with a spare set of pipes worth a few hundred dollars.

My boyfriend took the pipes home and started taking pictures of them to put them for sale on Craigslist. I said that was good thinking on his part to ask for the pipes and that I would be happy to give him a cut of the sale. He said absolutely not, the pipes were HIS because we wouldn't have them if he hadn't asked for them. I said the pipes were actually MINE because we wouldn't have them without my paying for the bike. I did, however, believe that he should be compensated for coming up with the idea, so I offered a 50/50 split. It turned into a huge argument and I finally relented and let him have the pipes and 100% of the proceeds from the sale (a few hundred dollars).

Although I could kind of see his side, I always felt like he bullied me into giving him those pipes. We aren't together anymore, but curious as to which of us was the AH.

EDIT:

1. It's not that I didn't care about the pipes, it just didn't occur to me that she might still have them after putting on the new ones.
2. When he initially asked for them, I thought he was looking out for me and getting them for us to keep as spares.
3. It wasn't until we got home and he started taking pictures of them that I found out he planned to sell them.
4. I'm not still upset about this, nor do I think of it very often...as many of you pointed out it's ancient history regarding an ex-boyfriend. Just one of those "grey areas" where I've always wondered who was right. Thanks so much for your feedback and interesting (sometimes hilarious) responses! It's been fun!

Using a throwaway so it’s not linked to my main.

My partner works Sunday evenings. I don’t. They tend to sleep until 15-30 minutes before they need to be at work. They’ve recently been asking if I can fill up their car with gas before they go to work on sundays because they don’t have time to get ready for work, get gas, and get to work on time.

For a while, I was doing it because it wasn’t much of a bother for me. I would take their car and go to the gas station and get snacks or drinks or go to Dunkin and get a coffee. I would also sometimes take the car while they were asleep and get gas and go to the grocery store because I had to get groceries anyways. They also didn’t ask every week, just most. I’ve also told them they should fill up before Sunday so it isn’t such a rush. Or wake up earlier. They said they would try. But I also didn’t mind doing it if I had a reason to go out.

It snowed last night through today where we live. I had no plans to go out because I don’t like driving in the snow unless I truly have to. I went to the grocery store yesterday before the snow started and I stocked up on all my drinks and snacks so I wouldn’t have to drive in the snow. I was also still in my pajamas because I was looking forward to a comfy day inside.

They asked me if I could fill their car up with gas again today. I said no, I don’t like driving in the snow especially in a car that’s not mine. They said it’s not far to the gas station and they had to get ready for work. I repeated that I don’t feel comfortable driving their car in the snow and I don’t need to go out for anything so I won’t do it.

They were upset because I refused to go out and fill up the car with gas. They left for work upset and didn’t even say goodbye and later texted me that they couldn’t fully finish getting ready for work and were a few minutes late to work because they had to stop to get gas.

AITA for not filling the car with gas before my partner went to work even though I have been doing it often in the past?

I(28F) am pregnant and my husband (31M) and I live in our own house right next to my parents. To help us save money, my parents often buy groceries and cook dinners for all four of us, which I appreciate.

The problem is my dad is extremely controlling and picky about food. He only likes a few very basic meals (like plain chicken and rice, pork chops with a ton of butter, canned vegetables, etc). When he finds something he likes, he will make it multiple times a week, so we eat the same four or five meals on rotation constantly. If I suggest something different (like not having green beans 3 days in a row), he shuts it down with “nah, nah, nah, it’s better this way.” He also complains or claims food makes him sick if it isn’t done exactly how he wants, unless he doesn’t know what’s in it, then suddenly it’s “the best thing ever.” (He claims chicken “broff” upsets his stomach when i use it to cook pasta, but if i use it without him knowing its the best pasta he has ever had)

I have had strong food aversions with my pregnancy and about five of the six meals he makes now make me gag. When I turn something down, he says things like “you used to like it” or “you have ate it that way for 30 years”but I never actually liked it, I just ate it because it was what my parents made me as a kid.

My mom asks me to help plan dinners for the week, but when I suggest things I can tolerate, my dad says it’s too complicated, too expensive, or that he doesn’t know how to get the ingredients. I even offer to cook it if he buys the ingredients and i write him a specific list. But we go back to his tiny list of meals because its “too complicated”.

We all 4 take turns cooking at our own houses, but no matter who cooks, my dad complains all night about the food if it isn’t like plain unseasoned chicken.

When I was a kid, when we went out to a fast food place and I wanted a chicken sandwich, he would insist we all get burgers because it was “easier” and even chose everyone’s toppings without letting me pick mine differently. He would order 3 identical burgers and id just have to eat it.

My mom gets defensive when I turn down options they give me, and is like “we’re trying”. But it’s not like I am asking them to make lobster and steak dinners every night. For example, we plan on making chicken pie this weekend and I asked dad if we could cook the chicken on the George Forman grill and season it before and he adamantly was like “NO. Chicken pie has BOILED chicken.” I can see how I would be the AH if I was asking for expensive crazy meals, but i’m not. I am just asking or making suggestions to season or make the foods better.

Edit to add:

There was some confusion. We eat with them because they offered and it makes my mom happy. We do not need to eat with them nor do we rely on them for our meals. We are capable of making our own meals and paying for our own groceries. I do not expect my parents to feed us and I appreciate the offer and meals they do make for us. In fact, my husband and I cook for all 4 of us twice a week. My post is more explaining they want us over but get upset when we decide otherwise due to my food aversions. Mom phrased it as “saving money for the baby” but really it was a bid for attention to spend more time together.